
You would make an intriguing case study! Men typically score higher in sociosexuality, meaning theyβre more inclined toward sexual risk-taking, promiscuity, and can sometimes engage in intimacy without attachment. Whereas women tend to be the sexual gatekeepers, setting the terms and expectations. Iβm not going to judge as everyone already beat me to it, and I doubt moralizing would resonate with you. However, it seems like you may find this lifestyle unfulfilling. Maybe what you need is a period of introspection, a sort of 'monastic arc,' to figure out what truly matters to you.
Also, when you say she was 'perfect,' Iβd question that. No one is flawless. She may have had qualities you admired, but it sounds like she was put on a pedestal. Itβs worth exploring the difference between admiring someone for who they genuinely are and creating an idealized image.