I will get married soon

[Haragwaafi]

17 is too young to marry for a 23 year old. That's a dude that graduated college last year basically. That seems old for a girl that didn't finish high school yet. But things might be different in Somalia so idk. In any case, good luck.

Not too young and if both are happy to be together it's not our business to interfere in that

 

[Mudug_gyal]

Idc abt the age gap, im more worried about the power dynamic. Tbh theres nothing stopping you from abusing her especially financially. Thats what Im worried about. Remember if you do her wrong, Allah is watching and is going to punish you in afterlife.

 

[Ozark]

Not too young and if both are happy to be together it's not our business to interfere in that

Certainly not our business in the real world but he made the thread here so we giving opinions. It's all fun, good luck to him anyways.

 

[Knaan99]

Divorce rates are high in Somalia. People marry young, but divorce is rampant.

In developed Muslim countries like Saudi and Kuwait, Zina isn’t common particularly for women since it’s segregated society and they actually finish schooling and Uni.

Women push for marrying men who are a similar age to them. I highly doubt any of the girls here would be commenting if he was like 18. I too think 23 is a kid. It’s not like he’s an odey marrying a 17 yr old, but his view of 20 being too old is problematic. Gives predator vibes and us girls who were once 17 know that at that age we were easily manipulated. That’s what creates discomfort. We know what is it is to be a teen girl.

Zina is increasing in there lol, but mainly due to marrying a divorced woman still be viewed as taboo over there.

Yea we always had a culture of a high divorce rates. especially with none southern Somalis. Numbers were even higher in colonial times.
As long as people are remarrying I don’t have any problems with that.

I’m 25 and i will never entertain a 18 year old. meanwhile, My 23 year old cousin is about to marry a 16 year old. Sht had me

But u gotta understand the situation is different back home. Men(at least in xamar) are expected to at least be earning something. Hance why most marry “later” at 22-25. No one expect the women to be earning income.
A 23+ woman who’s still single = mostly likely has unrealistic expectations.
Hence why most niggas go for younger.

Very little to do with being insecure or plotting to enslave anyone. Men simply like what works and give us the least amount of headache.
They just need to learn about family planning.

 

[attash]

23 and 17 still pisses me off. Even if it's normal back home. Plus I believe he said he was a teacher. If this happened in the states bro would have been In prison.

Not really. The state that I live in has an age of consent of 16 and a minimum age of marriage of 17. So if he was here, he wouldn’t have caught any cases.

Some states it is even younger. In fact, in some states, there is no minimum age of marriage at all. I have even heard of modern day cases of 12 yros getting married in Mississippi.

The US isn’t as sunshine and roses as you would think.

 

[Sophisticate]

The OP is entitled to his opinion.

Since we're all sharing our standards here, let me contribute.
I'm not fond of unhandsome, non-Samaroon, misogynistic, out-of-shape, poorly aging, bald, dark-skinned men lacking in advanced degrees, either.

Let people like what they like instead of forcing something undesirable onto them.

 

[Kisame]

Not really. The state that I live in has an age of consent of 16 and a minimum age of marriage of 17. So if he was here, he wouldn’t have caught any cases.

Some states it is even younger. In fact, in some states, there is no minimum age of marriage at all. I have even heard of modern day cases of 12 yros getting married in Mississippi.

The US isn’t as sunshine and roses as you would think.

23 year old nigga that dates 17 year olds would have gotten harassed in america. Especially if he was announcing to the world he was dating a 17 year old.

I don't why you mentioned bumfuck Mississippi. it's a state filled with a bunch of inbred rednecks.

 

[EyiPunter]

Idc abt the age gap, im more worried about the power dynamic. Tbh theres nothing stopping you from abusing her especially financially. Thats what Im worried about. Remember if you do her wrong, Allah is watching and is going to punish you in afterlife.

Just giver her a nintendo switch shell be fine.

 

[SamaaleCushite]

BBA and Finance
There is no work in the Gulf except public services You don't earn much and you waste your time I was born here and I will die here and no one knows qaddar

Congrats, go to malaysia or try online money making opportunities like ecomm/stocktrade or try to make contact with somalis in countries across africa that are making bank in various sectors. No point in sitting.

 

[Shimbiris]

This girl is from ceerigaabo and I went to her and met her She is 17 years old, so I will now get engaged to her and move her to Hargeisa After a few months

If you're not at most 18-20, you lost me here, akhi.

 

[Shimbiris]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Thanks for stating the truth!

This is exactly why many women, and men with morals, are horrified. This preference for young girls is based on a man wanting a mute servant instead of a life partner. They don't value women at all, and think of women as the supporting character in their life.

Of course they don't care about their kids. They are inherently selfish and don't see beyond themselves. How can a meek, young girl, raise strong, independent children? And we wonder why Somalia is so backward!

 

[Shimbiris]

Thanks for stating the truth!

This is exactly why many women, and men with morals, are horrified. This preference for young girls is based on a man wanting a mute servant instead of a life partner. They don't value women at all, and think of women as the supporting character in their life.

Of course they don't care about their kids. They are inherently selfish and don't see beyond themselves. How can a meek, young girl, raise strong, independent children? And we wonder why Somalia is so backward!

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Abdalla]

Alf Mabruuk. Enjoy your 17 year old bride. You don’t be seeing sunlight for at least 10 days. Adoo caato ah baad soo laaban doontaa

 

[Angelina]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Ah yes and when us women point this out we are gaslighted for saying the same thing and noting the mentality behind why many of these men want someone younger.

This mentality amongst many Somali men have been going on for years. There is a reason why many of us were raised by our mothers and grandmothers to be financially independent. My grandmother and the elder women in the fam would say something along the lines of if you have your own wealth and independence, then he can’t get away with mistreating you. An older aunt of mine would say that marrying at 25 is perfect because at that point you have your own mind and you’re educated. She wasn’t a feminist or raised with Western values. Mind you, these are traditional women who married at 13 and it makes you think what they probably dealt with growing up. There is a reason why they don’t want it to for their daughters or nieces and granddaughters. I’ll rather take their advice.

 

[LiveFrom]

This girl is from ceerigaabo and I went to her and met her She is 17 years old

 

[Shimbiris]

Ah yes and when us women point this out we are gaslighted for saying the same thing and noting the mentality behind why many of these men want someone younger.

This mentality amongst many Somali men have been going on for years. There is a reason why many of us were raised by our mothers and grandmothers to be financially independent. My grandmother and the elder women in the fam would say something along the lines of if you have your own wealth and independence, then he can’t get away with mistreating you. An older aunt of mine would say that marrying at 25 is perfect because at that point you have your own mind and you’re educated. She wasn’t a feminist or raised with Western values. Mind you, these are traditional women who married at 13 and it makes you think what they probably dealt with growing up. There is a reason why they don’t want it to for their daughters or nieces and granddaughters. I’ll rather take their advice.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Angelina]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Angelina]

Honestly, that is so crazy I don't know how to respond to this. So you're gonna attack my character by saying p*rn addiction has developed my beliefs about s3x and women? Why is it a requirement for me to accept unchaste women? If I have the money and resources then I will seek the best option. Perhaps if I had less in life then I would accept that a woman unchaste in a hala manner before marriage but I don't have to, I have enough money to leverage my requirements.

Now I will address your next paragraph regarding the Nabi SAW. He is the best of man and is capable of great merciful acts. I come up very short in comparison. However, heres a hadith that I think speaks to this argument.

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1991; Muslim, 715)

According to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2257), “… so she could teach them and discipline them.”

According to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2805) and Muslim (715): “He said: ‘The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, when I asked his permission (to participate in jihaad), “Have you married a virgin or a previously-married woman?” I said, “A previously-married woman.” He said, “Why did you not marry a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?” I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, my father has died (or has become a shaheed/martyr), and I have young sisters, so I did not want to marry someone like them who could not discipline them or take care of them, so I married a previously-married woman who could take care of them and discipline them.”’”

It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “My father died, leaving seven – or nine – daughters, and I married a previously-married woman. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked, ‘Did you get married, O Jaabir?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘A virgin or a previously-married woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young girl whom you could play with and she could play with you, and you could laugh with her and she could laugh with you?’ I told him that ‘Abd-Allaah had died and left behind daughters, and I did not want to bring to them someone like them. So I had married a woman who could take care of them and discipline them. He said, ‘May Allaah bless you,’ or similar kind words.”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5052)

Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said:

“It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) – unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)

And Allaah knows best.

As you can see it's sunnah to marry a virgin. So you can stop using diin as a crowbar against me. I don't appreciate you associating me with p*rn addicts either.

You’re a jahil of the highest order. How the hell is a divorced woman unchaste? If you prefer virgin women that’s on you, but to say someone who has had a halal marriage is unchaste is wild without measure. Unchaste means someone who lost their virginity outside of marriage you fool.

As for that Hadith Jabir was a young man who was also a virgin. He was literally a teenager who married an older non virgin, whilst you’re a married man. Get out of here. At least look at the context of the Hadith whilst you’re a married man looking for a second wife.

Also, Islamically it’s also Sunnah for women to marry unmarried men of a similar age like that of the Hadith of Fatima and the Prophet s.a.w rejecting the proposals of older married Sahabas in favor of Ali.



خطب أبو بكر وعمر فاطمة، فقالرسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: إنهاصغيرة. فخطبها علي، فزوجها منه.
Abu Bakr and ‘Umar proposed to Fatimah. The Prophet salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “She is (still) young.” Later, ‘Ali proposed to her and he salla Llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam married her to him.


Source: Sunan al-Nasā’ī 3221

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani

Al-Qari said, “The meaning is that she was too young to be suitable for the older age of Abu Bakr and Umar, so the Prophet married her to Ali, who was of suitable age.”

Source: Mirqāt al-Mafātīḥ 6104

عَنْ بُرَيْدَة قَالَ خَطَبَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ وَعُمَرُ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا فَاطِمَةَ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّهَا صَغِيرَةٌ فَخَطَبَهَا عَلِيٌّ فَزَوَّجَهَا مِنْهُ

3221 سنن النسائي كتاب النكاح تزوج المرأة مثلها في

 

[Daydreamer]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

one of your best takes