I need help getting over a grudge that I've developed towards Somali women.
Before I continue, I want to say that "grudge" is too strong of a word. My feelings are more of a mild dislike due to previous interactions, but "grudge" is easier to type and I'm using it for lack of a better word.
So where does this all stem from...
I have never met a Somali girl who hasn't been a dick to me up until I was 19. I'm not exaggerating.
During secondary school, I wasn't picked on much but 90% of the insults I did get were from Somali girls. Most of the time it was light teasing, but sometimes it was pretty insulting. For example, on non-uniform day I would spend some time picking out my clothes for the day only to walk into morning registration and get roasted by the same handful of Somali girls. I know this is petty and I would always say something back to them, but sometimes it did get to me. I was just a young teenager.
But towards year 10 and 11, I stopped talking with these girls and responding to their insults. Eventually they left me alone.
Fast forward to College, there was one occasion which really cemented this mentality into me. There was a Somali girl who shared some of my classes and friends. Eventually we become friends. (First actual female Somali friend)
One day I left college with her, we were walking down the high street together and out of nowhere she links arms with me. I immediately pulled away and asked her what she was doing (I had a massive crush on this Polish girl from class who was near us). She said it was a joke etc. Later that night I got a message from her full of abuse. Saying I'm ugly and that she's going to find my mum and tell her I'm sleeping with the Polish girl. I tried to apologise the next day but she started to ignore me for a while and I stopped bothering with her.
From then on, I became SUPER disinterested in Somali girls. Towards the end of uni and up until now, I've had 3 really good Somali girls come into my life. Each one I stupidly turned away from.
I met one, a year ago, at a Syrian charity event I was dragged to. We talked for like 40 minutes and swapped numbers. I ended up picking this other girl (who I was seeing at the time and who turned out to be a complete ) over her. Even though the Somali girl was better in every single way. Smarter, funnier, more attractive etc.
A few months back, I was introduced to one by a friend. We went out once and had a lot of fun. That night I lied to her saying that I was super busy with work and can't see her again for a while. Eventually we stopped talking.
Reading through this, I realise it's complete BS. But I can't help it. I find it hard looking at Somali girls from a relationship standpoint. Although my preference is not with Somalis and my parents don't mind where the woman I end marrying is from. A part of me still wants to start a family with a Somali woman someday.
What do I do?
Before I continue, I want to say that "grudge" is too strong of a word. My feelings are more of a mild dislike due to previous interactions, but "grudge" is easier to type and I'm using it for lack of a better word.
So where does this all stem from...
I have never met a Somali girl who hasn't been a dick to me up until I was 19. I'm not exaggerating.
During secondary school, I wasn't picked on much but 90% of the insults I did get were from Somali girls. Most of the time it was light teasing, but sometimes it was pretty insulting. For example, on non-uniform day I would spend some time picking out my clothes for the day only to walk into morning registration and get roasted by the same handful of Somali girls. I know this is petty and I would always say something back to them, but sometimes it did get to me. I was just a young teenager.
But towards year 10 and 11, I stopped talking with these girls and responding to their insults. Eventually they left me alone.
Fast forward to College, there was one occasion which really cemented this mentality into me. There was a Somali girl who shared some of my classes and friends. Eventually we become friends. (First actual female Somali friend)
One day I left college with her, we were walking down the high street together and out of nowhere she links arms with me. I immediately pulled away and asked her what she was doing (I had a massive crush on this Polish girl from class who was near us). She said it was a joke etc. Later that night I got a message from her full of abuse. Saying I'm ugly and that she's going to find my mum and tell her I'm sleeping with the Polish girl. I tried to apologise the next day but she started to ignore me for a while and I stopped bothering with her.
From then on, I became SUPER disinterested in Somali girls. Towards the end of uni and up until now, I've had 3 really good Somali girls come into my life. Each one I stupidly turned away from.
I met one, a year ago, at a Syrian charity event I was dragged to. We talked for like 40 minutes and swapped numbers. I ended up picking this other girl (who I was seeing at the time and who turned out to be a complete ) over her. Even though the Somali girl was better in every single way. Smarter, funnier, more attractive etc.
A few months back, I was introduced to one by a friend. We went out once and had a lot of fun. That night I lied to her saying that I was super busy with work and can't see her again for a while. Eventually we stopped talking.
Reading through this, I realise it's complete BS. But I can't help it. I find it hard looking at Somali girls from a relationship standpoint. Although my preference is not with Somalis and my parents don't mind where the woman I end marrying is from. A part of me still wants to start a family with a Somali woman someday.
What do I do?
Allow the armchair psychology sxb.
