I feel bad for my friend

[Zahra]

yes

I figured. No problem!

 

[Apollo]

Very cruel to leave somebody on a whim. One should telegraph it by giving hints for weeks before pulling out.

 

[Bo$$man]

Very cruel to leave somebody on a whim. One should telegraph it by giving hints for weeks before pulling out.

Women think about things like this over a long time period. Guys are often oblivious to what goes through their minds and ignore the signs. By the time you realise things are wrong she's packed her bags like what happened to this brother.

 

[Angelina]

Women think about things like this over a long time period. Guys are often oblivious to what goes through their minds and ignore the signs. By the time you realise things are wrong she's packed her bags like what happened to this brother.

Yep, your right. A woman hardly ups and leaves without thinking about it for a long time and showing her dissatisfaction and unfortunately many women aren't as forthcoming and vocal about their needs, they might leave hints, they might nag from time to time which isn't always obvious to a man as it is to women.

I suppose its a case of men being from Mars and women being from Venus.



Either way, I feel for the brother.

 

[Abba Sadacha]

Sad story indeed.
Tests will occur throughout life, it's as inevitable as death is. You have to be strong, patient and remember that you cannot avoid these things even if you tried your best. If you panic or overreact and overthink, as we humans, men in particular, often do, it won't lessen the severity of the calamity ... So patience is best. As Imam Shafi said: "no luxury lasts forever and no pain lasts forever."

 

[BobSmoke]

Her reason for divorce is simply because she grew apart from him!! It seems ridiculous and as an excuse but honestly that happens. Sometimes in a marriage one person feels they've outgrown the other and they seek to be alone or to discover another person who attracts their interest. I think instead of her asking for divorce and taking off she should have discussed with him what she needs from him or what she needs in the marriage to at least try to save it. It seems cold hearted to just simply ask for divorce and not give much of an explanation.

I have a strong feeling that she misses her old bf who happened to satisfy her in a way that her husband can't. It could be emotional or physical. Sometimes it's both. I don't know.

Real life will not give you much space for should could or would. You'll catch alot of what and why's.

Majority of this outgrow shit people talk about is just cap. The truth moreoften is the other party doesn't have what this new "prospect in mind" has in her/his mind.

It's cold out here, but religious people need to understand different levels of grimy behaviour and it's not just all this black and white haram or halal thing. Some people will tolerate you for the sake of Allah but most people will tolerate/marry/love you for the sake of what you can do for them.

It's a sad fact, only if a person resist to accept it, but if you do accept, it can be pretty liberating or it can turn you into a cynic. So accept with caution

 

[Zahra]

I have a strong feeling that she misses her old bf who happened to satisfy her in a way that her husband can't. It could be emotional or physical. Sometimes it's both. I don't know.

Real life will not give you much space for should could or would. You'll catch alot of what and why's.

Majority of this outgrow shit people talk about is just cap. The truth moreoften is the other party doesn't have what this new "prospect in mind" has in her/his mind.

It's cold out here, but religious people need to understand different levels of grimy behaviour and it's not just all this black and white haram or halal thing. Some people will tolerate you for the sake of Allah but most people will tolerate/marry/love you for the sake of what you can do for them.

It's a sad fact, only if a person resist to accept it, but if you do accept, it can be pretty liberating or it can turn you into a cynic. So accept with caution

You can never know what someone is the thinking. Outgrowing someone is a real thing, its a real occurrence. Sometimes people just feel like there's nothing else to get out of from the relationship , they grow bored and tired. Sad, but true. People marry for different reasons and divorce for even crazier reasons. Such is life!

 

[Arma]

Tell him, there's plenty of fish in the sea.

 

[Zahra]

Tell him, there's plenty of fish in the sea.

At the moment of heartbreak and shock that will just fall on deaf ears.

 

[Sophisticate]

Her reason for divorce is simply because she grew apart from him!! It seems ridiculous and as an excuse but honestly that happens. Sometimes in a marriage one person feels they've outgrown the other and they seek to be alone or to discover another person who attracts their interest. I think instead of her asking for divorce and taking off she should have discussed with him what she needs from him or what she needs in the marriage to at least try to save it. It seems cold hearted to just simply ask for divorce and not give much of an explanation.

I agree. It seems very unusual to not show any signs of discontent and ask for divorce suddenly. I do not understand why they cannot articulate their position and want to hastily jump ship.

You can never know what someone is the thinking. Outgrowing someone is a real thing, its a real occurrence. Sometimes people just feel like there's nothing else to get out of from the relationship , they grow bored and tired. Sad, but true. People marry for different reasons and divorce for even crazier reasons. Such is life!

I could understand:

• Incompatible lifestyles
• Threats to emotional health
• Threats to physical health
• Self-destructive behaviours
• Infidelity

As potential reasons for marital dissolution, but I do not understand what is meant by ‘outgrowing.’ I think people also set a dangerous precedent when they expect a spouse to fulfill every one of their conceivable needs. It is an unreasonable expectation and sets them up for failure. I mean, individuals can have a nice life together but need to have reasonable expectations and get some of their needs met through other sources like their interests, friends and family.

 

[BobSmoke]

You can never know what someone is the thinking. Outgrowing someone is a real thing, its a real occurrence. Sometimes people just feel like there's nothing else to get out of from the relationship , they grow bored and tired. Sad, but true.

Taas wey dhacdaa. But you can't the amount of people that use that word outgrowing for bs reasons. Tbh, even I used that bs excuse as a ass way of leaving a relationship.

People marry for different reasons and divorce for even crazier reasons. Such is life!

Amen!

 

[Abba Sadacha]

You can never know what someone is the thinking. Outgrowing someone is a real thing, its a real occurrence. Sometimes people just feel like there's nothing else to get out of from the relationship , they grow bored and tired. Sad, but true. People marry for different reasons and divorce for even crazier reasons. Such is life!

But . How does one get bored? Is the husband or wife supposed to be an entertaining stand up comedian? Is marriage supposed to be based on excitement or fun or ..?
Just wondering.

 

[Zahra]

But . How does one get bored? Is the husband or wife supposed to be an entertaining stand up comedian? Is marriage supposed to be based on excitement or fun or ..?
Just wondering.

I mean some people say , and ik because I've heard it from people's mouth that there isn't anymore excitement, they have run out of things to discuss outside of the necessary, that they have both become so comfortable with just sitting in a room and not speaking that its just at that point them being together because of the years, time and investment spent. Kind of said, I feel that people don't put enough time into their marriage and are more worried about everything else that's going on around them.

 

[Siddhartha]

But . How does one get bored? Is the husband or wife supposed to be an entertaining stand up comedian? Is marriage supposed to be based on excitement or fun or ..?
Just wondering.

The spark just dies out sometime and people drift apart.

 

[Caaro]

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ngl that’s still young. He still has most his life ahead of him.

 

[ChiefFizzy]

Tell him, there's plenty of fish in the sea.

fish in the sea, but just hope their snatch doesn't smell like the ocean

 

[AbdiFreedom]

ngl that’s still young. He still has most his life ahead of him.

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[Jaydaan]

@AbdiGaalDoon has Somali friends? This is actually shocking.

 

[Abba Sadacha]

I mean some people say , and ik because I've heard it from people's mouth that there isn't anymore excitement, they have run out of things to discuss outside of the necessary, that they have both become so comfortable with just sitting in a room and not speaking that its just at that point them being together because of the years, time and investment spent. Kind of said, I feel that people don't put enough time into their marriage and are more worried about everything else that's going on around them.

Excitement? Is that a marriage is supposed to be based on, though?
I can somewhat understand of the rest, such as, not speaking, but that could stem from other issues. There could be underlying issues that were held in, as opposed to openly discussing them. This is why men, should always, always, ask their wives how their day was, how are they doing, etc, as this will make her feel like opening up about anything that maybe concerning her, hurting her, worrying her, etc.

 

[Zahra]

Excitement? Is that a marriage is supposed to be based on, though?
I can somewhat understand of the rest, such as, not speaking, but that could stem from other issues. There could be underlying issues that were held in, as opposed to openly discussing them. This is why men, should always, always, ask their wives how their day was, how are they doing, etc, as this will make her feel like opening up about anything that maybe concerning her, hurting her, worrying her, etc.

Excitement? Is that a marriage is supposed to be based on, though?
I can somewhat understand of the rest, such as, not speaking, but that could stem from other issues. There could be underlying issues that were held in, as opposed to openly discussing them. This is why men, should always, always, ask their wives how their day was, how are they doing, etc, as this will make her feel like opening up about anything that maybe concerning her, hurting her, worrying her, etc.

Hey you'd be surprised at what people think marriage is supposed to be like. Some people have this unrealistic image of marriage in their head.