I don’t care about dating, marriage or having children

[mrlog]

I'm also in my late 20s and never had a relation with a somali male. They kind of scare me due to how they behave on social media. I know I should detach online from real life. But is hard since Somali men are slowly being radicalised into hating Somali women. And I'm scared I could find the wrong one that will harm me.

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[mrlog]

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[qalanjodheer]

Same here sister. I was unfortunately molested as a child by a male relative, I was only 5 years old.

 

[Dibleyy]

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And?

 

[Dibleyy]

Y'all got to understand that not all guys are out there trying to take advantage of any abyo's. Im for a large town with a small Somali community. It's hard trying to find a Somali girl because the ones you grown around will act like your related to them. So this can be said on either said of the spectrum to find someine to form happy and healthy family.

I think it’s the mindset both the men and women are raised on because of our parents and strictness with the opposite gender..

 

[Kisame]

So I am attracted to men don’t get me wrong, but other than a crush I can admire from far away or something nice to look at, I don’t care for having a relationship.

I’ve never held hands, flirted/chatted on the phone or talked to a man in a romantic way in my entire life. Even when I had the opportunity I get scared and immediately go on the defensive (not in a rude or aggressive way tho).. I don’t have much of a s*x drive either so I don’t lust after men either. Which is usually what drives young ppl to marry.

Maybe it’s because of my past experiences with male relatives, hearing what my brothers friends used to talk about (yes I eavesdropped) and seeing my female relatives go through bad relationships, struggle with single parenthood and just generally be miserable. I think it plays a small role.

I’m in my late 20s and I’m honestly a little concerned… when a man shows interest in me I feel disgusted because this man obviously has no discernment or wisdom to pick that bad of a partner lol, fear of being attractive because I feel like it’ll put in me in an unsafe situation or he want to use me for something (the guys here in Somalia want a sugar mama with citizenship lol). I’m not ugly by any means but I don’t make an effort to look better because I fear the attention and attraction of men while other women crave it.

Idk why I’m like this and I’m really scared to go into my 30s with this mentality…

Any advice?

"
I’ve never held hands, flirted/chatted on the phone or talked to a man in a romantic way in my entire life. Even when I had the opportunity I get scared and immediately go on the defensive (not in a rude or aggressive way tho)"

Abstaining from dating fucked you over. It will be way tougher for a chick like you to find a partner.

 

[Dibleyy]

"
I’ve never held hands, flirted/chatted on the phone or talked to a man in a romantic way in my entire life. Even when I had the opportunity I get scared and immediately go on the defensive (not in a rude or aggressive way tho)"

Abstaining from dating fucked you over. It will be way tougher for a chick like you to find a partner.

I don’t understand men like you at all walahi! You say you want a modest shy girl, but then will dog on her when she’s… modest and shy. Bffr

All Somali guys talk about is sharmutto this and dhiilo that but in the same breath will ask why you refused to get into a haram relationship? Give me a break I’m so tired of this hypocrisy.

 

[DojaKhat]

I don’t understand men like you at all walahi! You say you want a modest shy girl, but then will dog on her when she’s… modest and shy. Bffr

All Somali guys talk about is sharmutto this and dhiilo that but in the same breath will ask why you refused to get into a haram relationship? Give me a break I’m so tired of this hypocrisy.

LOL he's gaal.

 

[Geeljire lotus]

I don’t understand men like you at all walahi! You say you want a modest shy girl, but then will dog on her when she’s… modest and shy. Bffr

All Somali guys talk about is sharmutto this and dhiilo that but in the same breath will ask why you refused to get into a haram relationship? Give me a break I’m so tired of this hypocrisy.

I mean not all Somali men are the same for example kisame is not Muslim

 

[mrlog]

And?

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[Kisame]

I don’t understand men like you at all walahi! You say you want a modest shy girl, but then will dog on her when she’s… modest and shy. Bffr

All Somali guys talk about is sharmutto this and dhiilo that but in the same breath will ask why you refused to get into a haram relationship? Give me a break I’m so tired of this hypocrisy.

I'm not Muslim. Ive never had an urge to date a modest shy girl.

I mean not all Somali men are the same for example kisame is not Muslim

Even when I was Muslim I legit avoided interacting with those modest Muslimahs. I got along better with the non hijabis.

 

[Dibleyy]

I'm not Muslim. Ive never had an urge to date a modest shy girl.


Even when I was Muslim I legit avoided interacting with those modest Muslimahs. I got along better with the non hijabis.

So you don’t care about body counts? You’ll wife a girl in a miniskirt? Who maybe used to do OF? Lol

 

[Moon-]

So you don’t care about body counts? You’ll wife a girl in a miniskirt? Who maybe used to do OF? Lol

how does wearing miniskirt mean you do of

 

[NidarNidar]

So I am attracted to men don’t get me wrong, but other than a crush I can admire from far away or something nice to look at, I don’t care for having a relationship.

I’ve never held hands, flirted/chatted on the phone or talked to a man in a romantic way in my entire life. Even when I had the opportunity I get scared and immediately go on the defensive (not in a rude or aggressive way tho).. I don’t have much of a s*x drive either so I don’t lust after men either. Which is usually what drives young ppl to marry.

Maybe it’s because of my past experiences with male relatives, hearing what my brothers friends used to talk about (yes I eavesdropped) and seeing my female relatives go through bad relationships, struggle with single parenthood and just generally be miserable. I think it plays a small role.

I’m in my late 20s and I’m honestly a little concerned… when a man shows interest in me I feel disgusted because this man obviously has no discernment or wisdom to pick that bad of a partner lol, fear of being attractive because I feel like it’ll put in me in an unsafe situation or he want to use me for something (the guys here in Somalia want a sugar mama with citizenship lol). I’m not ugly by any means but I don’t make an effort to look better because I fear the attention and attraction of men while other women crave it.

Idk why I’m like this and I’m really scared to go into my 30s with this mentality…

Any advice?

Get some therapy sister, young men talk about wild stuff, Inshallah you find someone that matches you, keep in mind most people don't mature until they are 25.

 

[NordicSomali]

A real relationship based on mutual love is one of the best experiences a human can have.

 

[EyiPunter]

I'm not Muslim. Ive never had an urge to date a modest shy girl.


Even when I was Muslim I legit avoided interacting with those modest Muslimahs. I got along better with the non hijabis.

End of story you don't need to say anything else. I bet your not even Somali.

 

[BidaarBoy]

Get your hormones and nutrient levels checked ASAP. If that’s you in your pfp then they are obviously all over the place.

 

[BidaarBoy]

And?

It’s a very sad lonely life for most. It’s okay being single when you’re young because you can still have a thriving social life to fill that void and what not but most people are not gonna maintain that into their 50s and up, I’m sure you’ve seen single people lament over their friends no longer having time to spend with them because they’re preoccupied with their kids.

And even then young people today have the less friends and family and spend less time with said friends and family. People are less social than ever and chronically online. Coupled with no partner or kids past a certain age will be lonely as hell for most.