I am scared of marriage

[Shogun]

What specifically scares you? Being used?

Anyway, I suspect you'd change your mind once you genuinely like a man and feel comfortable enough. Might seem like a tall order until you cross that bridge.

 

[Angelina]

My theory is a more cultural shift that happened in Islam. How did islam go from Khadijah a wealthy upper class women choosing which man she’s going to marry to today. I think it was started by the Islamic invasions and the wealth and female slaves that came with it. As essentially the worth of a women plummeted her needs weren’t important anymore becuase any respectful man could replace her with a maid whom he could have relations with. That with the Mongol invasions which made women even more of a commodity and you have modern Islamic culture

It wasn't just Khadijah. Many of the female sahabas were either widowed due to war or divorced ect, yet a lot of the male sahabas would often propose ect. Being widowed or divorced was not an impediment in any shape or form in early Islamic society and it is evident for anyone that reads about the lives of the sahabas.

Look at Fatima bint Qays may Allah be pleased with her, after her divorce, three Sahabas proposed to her despite this. She eventually married Usama bin Zayd upon the advice of the Prophet S. A. W.

Your analysis is very interesting and it could very well be the reason why. Something that has troubled me is the stark hypocrisy of some Muslim men. You cannot say the kufr objectify women and reduce them to xyz, when we as Muslim women are also reduced to our virginity and other things at times. Btw, I have no problems with preferences, but calling women used goods, ageism and the like is troubling when supposedly our value as Muslim women stems from our belief in Allah.

 

[Material]

trust once you lose it u finna be boing boinging wit ur man every night. well thats if he got a big peen

 

[Sonder]

What specifically scares you? Being used?

Anyway, I suspect you'd change your mind once you genuinely like a man and feel comfortable enough. Might seem like a tall order until you cross that bridge.

I guess. My friend teases me over the fact that I have never had a crush on a guy before

 

[Malikfiqi]

It wasn't just Khadijah. Many of the female sahabas were either widowed due to war or divorced ect, yet a lot of the male sahabas would often propose ect. Being widowed or divorced was not an impediment in any shape or form in early Islamic society and it is evident for anyone that reads about the lives of the sahabas.

Look at Fatima bint Qays may Allah be pleased with her, after her divorce, three Sahabas proposed to her despite this. She eventually married Usama bin Zayd upon the advice of the Prophet S. A. W.

Your analysis is very interesting and it could very well be the reason why. Something that has troubled me is the stark hypocrisy of some Muslim men. You cannot say the kufr objectify women and reduce them to xyz, when we as Muslim women are also reduced to our virginity and other things at times. Btw, I have no problems with preferences, but calling women used goods, ageism and the like is troubling when supposedly our value as Muslim women stems from our belief in Allah.

Maybe but I think it was a demographic issue, with female infantacide still having an effect couple that with pre modern mortality rates for pregnancy there was probably a vast shortage for single women to men. Which probably also explains Arab views on women. But if it was only demographics why did views on women change for the worse as there were more women with female infanticide being outlawed allahu aalam

 

[Naa]

I guess. My friend teases me over the fact that I have never had a crush on a guy before

You're young so having a crush on someone doesn't really mean anything because boys our age are... ew.

I'm sure when you get older you'll find someone you would like to marry.

 

[Shogun]

I guess. My friend teases me over the fact that I have never had a crush on a guy before

That's pretty normal though. I've spoken to girls in their 20's that have never had a real crush on anyone. Some people aren't wired that way.

 

[Vanessa]

Are u Somali?

 

[Sonder]

Are u Somali?

...yes?

 

[Vanessa]

...yes?

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[Sonder]

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...so what I’m hearing is that it is not something that happens to other somali girls?

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