I’m thinking of cutting ties with my family

my brother who has mental issues told me today that I killed my brother on my 18th birthday, to preface my brother died a couple years ago and that day we were arguing and I stole something from him which I usually did back then and we fought and the next day he died.

Its always ate at me and even my sister told me one time during an arguement that I killed him. Every time I freak out about it they treat me like I’m the guilty one, walahi I’ve tried a whole lot of ways to try and handle the guilt praying, yoga, boxing, drugs you name it but I can’t seem to shake it off. My mom even found drugs in my room and texted me to berate me but never came to talk about it, not one of my siblings asked me if I was okay or what I was using or if I needed help but my brother always received help, I’m the only one who has a different father and I think that’s played into it a lot. My siblings will be closely tied to one another and will treat me close but if I argue or fight with one they all come after me, My mom doesn’t really seem to care either, I’ve moved out before but my Hooyo begs me to come back.

idk what to do anymore, I want to just cut contact but I know it’s a major sin but I can’t forgive this
 
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my brother who has mental issues told me today that I killed my brother on my 18th birthday, to preface my brother died a couple years ago and that day we were arguing and I stole something from him which I usually did back then and we fought and the next day he died.

Its always ate at me and even my sister told me one time during an arguement that I killed him. Every time I freak out about it they treat me like I’m the guilty one, walahi I’ve tried a whole lot of ways to try and handle the guilt praying, yoga, boxing, drugs you name it but I can’t seem to shake it off. My mom even found drugs in my room and texted me to berate me but never came to talk about it, not one of my siblings asked me if I was okay or what I was using or if I needed help but my brother always received help, I’m the only one who has a different father and I think that’s played into it a lot. My siblings will be closely tied to one another and will treat me close but if I argue or fight with one they all come after me, My mom doesn’t really seem to care either, I’ve moved out before but my Hooyo begs me to come back.

idk what to do anymore, I want to just cut contact but I know it’s a major sin but I can’t forgive this
How did your brother die?
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

💙☆💚
VIP
His death has nothing to do with you so they need to stop blaming you for it. Call a family meeting and tell them how it makes you feel when they accuse of you something that will happen to all of us; death.
Also tell them you understand and regret your past mistakes, but that you should not be punished for something that is not your fault, that they need to grieve in a healthy way and stop lashing out at you.

If this toxic behaviour continues, do what's best for you, but never stop talking to your parents and even if you move out, at the very least be cordial towards your siblings. This way you will have no regrets no matter what, just cover your back.
 
His death has nothing to do with you so they need to stop blaming you for it. Call a family meeting and tell them how it makes you feel when they accuse of you something that will happen to all of us; death.
Also tell them you understand and regret your past mistakes, but that you should not be punished for something that is not your fault, that they need to grieve in a healthy way and stop lashing out at you.

If this toxic behaviour continues, do what's best for you, but never stop talking to your parents and even if you move out, at the very least be cordial towards your siblings. This way you will have no regrets no matter what, just cover your back.
Jazakallah your absolutely right this advice means a lot to me, thank you
 

TekNiKo

“I am an empathic and emotionally-aware person.
VIP
What happened to going to Mogadishu? I think you need a break from the household and a fresh new environment
 
What happened to going to Mogadishu? I think you need a break from the household and a fresh new environment
Problem is I was planning to go with that same brother and mom but now I feel unsafe going. I think my first time in Somalia should be with people you trust and feel safe with and I don’t feel either.
 
my brother who has mental issues told me today that I killed my brother on my 18th birthday, to preface my brother died a couple years ago and that day we were arguing and I stole something from him which I usually did back then and we fought and the next day he died.

Its always ate at me and even my sister told me one time during an arguement that I killed him. Every time I freak out about it they treat me like I’m the guilty one, walahi I’ve tried a whole lot of ways to try and handle the guilt praying, yoga, boxing, drugs you name it but I can’t seem to shake it off. My mom even found drugs in my room and texted me to berate me but never came to talk about it, not one of my siblings asked me if I was okay or what I was using or if I needed help but my brother always received help, I’m the only one who has a different father and I think that’s played into it a lot. My siblings will be closely tied to one another and will treat me close but if I argue or fight with one they all come after me, My mom doesn’t really seem to care either, I’ve moved out before but my Hooyo begs me to come back.

idk what to do anymore, I want to just cut contact but I know it’s a major sin but I can’t forgive this
What type of drugs were you doing ? I hope things get better for you inshallah
 
I’m sorry to hear that sweetheart!

muf its affordable take your first leave and never turn back. It might be hard for a few time shut believe me it will be worth it at the end❤️
 

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