How I got out of my Self hate phase.

[Soul Kaizer]

This going to be my last post on this topic.


With all the talk about the self hate pandemic thats ravaging the Somali youth I wanna tell my story a where i believe it comes from and how I had a phase like this.

I don’t really like to talk about my personal life on here as I have said some crazy shit (mostly sarcasm or I stuff cringe/regret about)and don’t want it to be traced back to me so I’m gonna keep it vague.

Contrary to the persona I have built on this site by shit posting I am not a racial purist I am mixed won’t say what my other side but it’s from Asia(Not South Asia).

I grew up in an area that’s predominantly white during my formative years then in my early teens I moved to area with a lot Somalis for familial reasons.

What does this have to with the topic?

Well for the majority of my life to that point I had never had Somali friend or much contact with other Somalis besides family and then I moved into a Somali area.

Somalis were very different from me as I was more of a “nerd”. Apart from the few I chilled with that we had common interests the majority were into things I had no interest in (football etc)

Also i remember they made jokes about my ethnicity which hurt me a lot at the time Ngl. It didn’t help that i was much shorter than my Somali peers. So during Somali events or masjid classes I only chilled with the few that I fw and didn’t interact with most.

When people ask me what I am mixed with I would usually say X + East African because during the 2010s pirate and Somali jokes were rampant and I already look ethnically ambiguous enough to not get recognised as Somali. Which looking back was just cowardice. There nothing with being your ethnicity no matter what.

This post is getting too long now let me summarise the rest.

What got me out of this self hating phase Maturing + Learning Somali history recognising we weren’t always in this sorry state + learning that I am who I am and that is not a flaw.

Thank god despite my self hate phase putting your own people for giggles was never a thing I did.

The it’s not deep mentality needs to be corrected.

 

[Khal Mah Oma]

Saxib, respectively I’d say f*ck the haters. They hate you for existing. And it’s tough. I know. The climate is harsh out here. I’d say embrace whoever you want to be or whatever you want to be.

#Bornthisway

 

[Soul Kaizer]

This is my honest post on this site but it needs to be said you can’t hate yourself for what you’re born as even if the entire world insults you.

You are you from to you features to your language it’s all you and why be hostile yourself when there is already enough hostility in the world.

 

[Gracias]

So you’re mixed and distanced yourself from us because some children made mean jokes ? Are you serious? This isn’t self hate, this is the usual mixed person nonsense

 

[SWTogdheer]

I’m assuming you are half lander on your father’s side?

 

[Sophisticate]

I am from a time when models were the only media representation of Somalis. I grew up around an educated class of Somalis (Journalists, Doctors, Engineers, etc). And my sense of self was not connected to the state of the nation but was intrinsic. Mind you, I'm a full Somali (so a different lived experience). And for the record, a millennial born and raised in the West. Granted, even full Somalis do not have the same experience. Some have an easier time managing a bicultural identity (where they were raised) and their ethnicity (Somali). In contrast, others have a more challenging experience depending on a variety of factors. I presume that's similar to mixed Somalis.

I don't say this to diminish your experience but to provide a necessary contrast/complement.

 

[bobby_hill-Punt]

Saxib, respectively I’d say f*ck the haters. They hate you for existing. And it’s tough. I know. The climate is harsh out here. I’d say embrace whoever you want to be or whatever you want to be.

#Bornthisway

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[Soul Kaizer]

I am from a time when models were the only media representation of Somalis. I grew up around an educated class of Somalis (Journalists, Doctors, Engineers, etc). And my sense of self was not connected to the state of the nation but was intrinsic. Mind you, I'm a full Somali (so a different lived experience). And for the record, a millennial born and raised in the West. Granted, even full Somalis do not have the same experience. Some have an easier time managing a bicultural identity (where they were raised) and their ethnicity (Somali). In contrast, others have a more challenging experience depending on a variety of factors. I presume that's similar to mixed Somalis.

I don't say this to diminish your experience but to provide a necessary contrast/complement.

I envy your generation as you were able to grow up and form an identity before the current internet so you had a strong stable sense of self. I can only imagine the horrors young Somalis have to endure on TT, Insta reels and Twitter.

Also half my issue growing up was I was too thin skinned.

 

[Soul Kaizer]

So you’re mixed and distanced yourself from us because some children made mean jokes ? Are you serious? This isn’t self hate, this is the usual mixed person nonsense

Is that you in your pfp.

 

[Soul Kaizer]

I’m assuming you are half lander on your father’s side?

You don’t need to worry about what qabil I am.

I am Schrödinger lander.

 

[Gracias]

Is that you in your pfp.

No. So to clarify you’re mixed, don’t look somali, distanced yourself from somalis because people made jokes about us and because a few somalis made digs about your other ethnicity? Did you also distance yourself from your asian side because people made jokes about that ethnicity too? Or was it just your somali side? Are we supposed to read this and feel empathy for you? It’s pathetic. Like you’re just another a weird mixed person.

I noticed your sly shade with the “I can only imagine the horrors young Somalis have to endure on TT, Insta reels and Twitter” lol the average young somali isn’t thinking about any of this. Go outside and ask any of them about this & they’ll be confused.

When someone posted a thread about an ajnabi mocking a disabled somali girl and people contacted their school & got them suspended you responded with the post below. Why do you, as a mixed person, think it’s okay to say something like this? Why are you policing how Somalis choose to respond to racists like that guy?

View attachment 350647

 

[_Yusuf_]

This going to be my last post on this topic.


With all the talk about the self hate pandemic thats ravaging the Somali youth I wanna tell my story a where i believe it comes from and how I had a phase like this.

I don’t really like to talk about my personal life on here as I have said some crazy shit (mostly sarcasm or I stuff cringe/regret about)and don’t want it to be traced back to me so I’m gonna keep it vague.

Contrary to the persona I have built on this site by shit posting I am not a racial purist I am mixed won’t say what my other side but it’s from Asia(Not South Asia).

I grew up in an area that’s predominantly white during my formative years then in my early teens I moved to area with a lot Somalis for familial reasons.

What does this have to with the topic?

Well for the majority of my life to that point I had never had Somali friend or much contact with other Somalis besides family and then I moved into a Somali area.

Somalis were very different from me as I was more of a “nerd”. Apart from the few I chilled with that we had common interests the majority were into things I had no interest in (football etc)

Also i remember they made jokes about my ethnicity which hurt me a lot at the time Ngl. It didn’t help that i was much shorter than my Somali peers. So during Somali events or masjid classes I only chilled with the few that I fw and didn’t interact with most.

When people ask me what I am mixed with I would usually say X + East African because during the 2010s pirate and Somali jokes were rampant and I already look ethnically ambiguous enough to not get recognised as Somali. Which looking back was just cowardice. There nothing with being your ethnicity no matter what.

View attachment 372661
This post is getting too long now let me summarise the rest.

What got me out of this self hating phase Maturing + Learning Somali history recognising we weren’t always in this sorry state + learning that I am who I am and that is not a flaw.

Thank god despite my self hate phase putting your own people for giggles was never a thing I did.

The it’s not deep mentality needs to be corrected.

So… is your dad Asian or momma….

 

[Geel Jire]

I thank Allah everyday for making me Somali

 

[Soul Kaizer]

No. So to clarify you’re mixed, don’t look somali, distanced yourself from somalis because people made jokes about us and because a few somalis made digs about your other ethnicity? Did you also distance yourself from your asian side because people made jokes about that ethnicity too? Or was it just your somali side? Are we supposed to read this and feel empathy for you? It’s pathetic. Like you’re just another a weird mixed person.

I noticed your sly shade with the “I can only imagine the horrors young Somalis have to endure on TT, Insta reels and Twitter” lol the average young somali isn’t thinking about any of this. Go outside and ask any of them about this & they’ll be confused.

When someone posted a thread about an ajnabi mocking a disabled somali girl and people contacted their school & got them suspended you responded with the post below. Why do you, as a mixed person, think it’s okay to say something like this? Why are you policing how Somalis choose to respond to racists like that guy?

Damn what a way to weaponise a real moment.

The reason I associated less with my Somali side then was because I was ignorant of Somali history and thought they had contributed nothing to humanity. Also I didn’t like the pirate jokes and forehead shit.

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I don’t speak about Somali politics/history at home so all I knew was what was shown in the internet and it is bleak. Anyways things have changed why hold my confused teenage self as some moral indictment to my character.

Also the reason I said that was because doxing a single person doesn’t change anything it’s performative.

I tried to be real for a second without shitposting and tell you how a young person can lose confidence with their own culture.

 

[Soul Kaizer]

So… is your dad Asian or momma….

Why are you guys so obsessed with that question.

 

[LacagChaser]

Damn what a way to weaponise a real moment.

The reason I associated less with my Somali side then was because I was ignorant of Somali history and thought they had contributed nothing to humanity. Also I didn’t like the pirate jokes and forehead shit.
I don’t speak about Somali politics/history at home so all I knew was what was shown in the internet and it is bleak. Anyways things have changed why hold my confused teenage self as some moral indictment to my character.

Also the reason I said that was because doxing a single person doesn’t change anything it’s performative.

I tried to be real for a second without shitposting and tell you how a young person can lose confidence with their own culture.

Were you excommunicated from your Asian side?

 

[Soul Kaizer]

Were you excommunicated from your Asian side?

Nah I’m cool with them. They love me.

 

[Soul Kaizer]

Good to hear that and I’m glad you’re more mature now but your rational of self hatred is very confusing to me.

Basically I grew up in area of few/non Somalis until my early teens.

Somalis tend to have more abrasive personalities and I was kinda thin-skinned growing up so I took jokes to heart.

Same time pirate jokes and stuff were being made about Somalis. I knew I was Somali but I never really identified with it I felt more like an outsider

All I knew about Somalis was from the tv and the jokes and didn’t bother to speak up about it at home so I just learned about Somalis from the media/internet.

That’s how I became self hatey but it if you asked me then I would say I didn’t hate my Somali side I just wasn’t eager to identify with it. In hindsight if you aren’t eager to identify with your ethnicity it means you hold some type of feeling against it.

 

[LacagChaser]

Basically I grew up in area of few/non Somalis until my early teens.

Somalis tend to have more abrasive personalities and I was kinda thin-skinned growing up so I took jokes to heart.

Same time pirate jokes and stuff were being made about Somalis. I knew I was Somali but I never really identified with it I felt more like an outsider

All I knew about Somalis was from the tv and the jokes and didn’t bother to speak up about it at home so I just learned about Somalis from the media/internet.

That’s how I became self hatey but it if you asked me then I would say I didn’t hate my Somali side I just wasn’t eager to identify with it. In hindsight if you aren’t eager to identify with your ethnicity it means you hold some type of feeling against it.

Ok, do you have any somali friends now or are you just friends with asians who play league all day

 

[Gracias]

Damn what a way to weaponise a real moment.

The reason I associated less with my Somali side then was because I was ignorant of Somali history and thought they had contributed nothing to humanity. Also I didn’t like the pirate jokes and forehead shit.
I don’t speak about Somali politics/history at home so all I knew was what was shown in the internet and it is bleak. Anyways things have changed why hold my confused teenage self as some moral indictment to my character.

Also the reason I said that was because doxing a single person doesn’t change anything it’s performative.

I tried to be real for a second without shitposting and tell you how a young person can lose confidence with their own culture.

I don’t care. You avoided my question about if you distanced yourself from your asian ethnicity so I'm guessing you didn’t. That just confirms what I’ve been saying. You were going around calling yourself “X + east african” lol that’s pathetic sorry. You didn’t want to identify with us then for a reason so it’s weird that you’re lecturing full somalis now. & forehead/pirate jokes aren’t an excuse wtf. You should have said some crazy shit back. Why tf am I supposed to care about what some mixed guy who didn’t identify with us has to say? You said Somali kids made fun of your asian ethnicity but that didn’t stop you from identifying with it. & now you want to post about being isaaq lol. You haven’t mentioned growing up with asians either but you still identified with them.

Don’t make this about history and achievements when it’s clearly something else. Do you think actual somalis can ever decide to identify with something else? No. And we wouldn’t want to. I don’t think young somalis need lectures from weird mixed people tbh. This isn’t about losing confidence or whatever, this is about you being weird. You tried to use somalis making jokes about whatever you’re mixed with to justify disassociating with us.

It isn’t performative. That loser was suspended and learnt a lesson from that incident. Ask yourself why you were triggered by that. It’s not just that either, you have posted a lot of crazy things about Somalis. It’s never okay for a mixed person who didn’t even claim being Somali to make the kinda comments you post. Idgaf if it’s “trolling”. I’m not even trying to be rude but why are mixed people like this? How do you not identify with us then change your mind & act like we should be glad that you’re calling yourself Somali?