How do I tell my auntie

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Hakuna matata
VIP
To stop sending money to her family.

ill shorten the story.

She has been supporting them for over 20 years, she brought two of her sisters daughters here for a better life. She forgot about her own dreams such as learning the english language, to drive etc when she came to the UK at the age of 28. She is illiterate. The girls got married, started their familes and after that they had disagreements with their auntie, the sisters ganged up on their auntie and shut her off also their mum joined in Africa too.

The issue is their mother wants her older sister in the UK to keep billing her cause she looks after the mum , but the sister cant keep billing her all the time, she asked her nieces if they can help too as they only send money to their mum not the ayeeyo. What the sister in africa wants is money from her daughters and money from her sister to support ayeeyo ,she is just money hungry.
My auntie here is sick, she has 2 sick sons, and works as a cleaner. Her husband is retired too, she can no longer support them but sends money once in a while. She can not sleep every night cause she cries saying i wasted 24 years of my life for them and this is how I get treated.


The girls do not visit her at all, The saddest thing ever was when their auntie got so sick, she was in hospital and she was close to death, I expected them to vist her but no, there was no sympathy.

HOW CAN I CHANGE HER TO STOP SENDING MONEY TO THEM?
 
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Your aunt has a soft heart nothing you can do about it, in shaa Allah she will see her good deeds in the hereafter. If her sister is living with their mom(ayeeyo) then tell her not send money for one month and see the response from her nieces and their mother. Their taking advantage of her because of her softness.
 

convincation

Soomaali waa Hawiyah Iyo Hashiyah
VIP
I would say regularly visit, even if just for a small amount of time a day, make her feel loved. Once in a while bring her gifts even if it’s something small and ask her about her day. After doing this for a while ask why she’s still sending money over and convince her to stop doing that, if she rejects which she most likely will, have a conversation with the nieces. Tell them how their aunty feels about what’s going on since there’s a chance they aren’t aware. If both of them couldn’t give a damn and won’t budge then there most likely won’t be any way to get your auntie to stop paying. But continue to comfort here and make her feel like she isn’t alone
 
In life, there's two type of people. Lions and rabbits. Unfortunately, your aunt is a rabbit
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Looks like your aunt's sister, the one back home whose daughters are now grown up and were helped to get to the UK, is aiding and abetting the bad behavior of her children. She needs to get help from her grown children and lessen the burden on her sister. Part of the solution might be to talk to the one back home and tell her to reign in her selfish children.

As for your aunt, she is working for her Hereafter. She is a blessed woman Mashaallah. I have seen many Somali habos with golden hearts like her's "taken advantage of." Jokes on those who forgot about the dark grave and think they are taking advantage of these folks with hearts of gold, meanwhile the kind habos are filling their Aakhira bank with lots of sadaqa.
 

SOULSEARCHING

Hakuna matata
VIP
Looks like your aunt's sister, the one back home whose daughters are now grown up and were helped to get to the UK, is aiding and abetting the bad behavior of her children. She needs to get help from her grown children and lessen the burden on her sister. Part of the solution might be to talk to the one back home and tell her to reign in her selfish children.

As for your aunt, she is working for her Hereafter. She is a blessed woman Mashaallah. I have seen many Somali habos with golden hearts like her's "taken advantage of." Jokes on those who forgot about the dark grave and think they are taking advantage of these folks with hearts of gold, meanwhile the kind habos are filling their Aakhira bank with lots of sadaqa.
The thing is her nieces are sending lots of money to there mother, and she is building houses, they are trying to make their side of the family wealthy but still using my aunt for money, the sister in africa tells her mother her daughter in the UK does not love her and wont send her money etc, this causes her mother to also side with her daughter in africa. They use all sorts of manipulation to make my aunt look like the bad one.
 
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