How do I make my mom come to terms with me not marrying

[Bari🐍]

Stop taking fin and nuking your hormones. Go to turkey, it's not that expensive. Anyways with that being said listen man, I understand exactly how you feel. I also prefer my own space and freedom without being tied to a single person. As for marriage, not everyone is suited for a big commitment like that, but we are Muslim we have no choice other than zina or celibacy. And as a healthy man you will find the latter difficult unless you constantly keep yourself busy.

My advice to you is to view marriage from a different lens. You don't have to marry for love, but I believe it's important to continue your lineage. Think about it that way. For this I don't suggest marrying western women. They watch too many movies and don't want a husband, but rather a best friend. Marry a foreigner instead and let her be the vessel for your progeny. You don't even have to live with her, just visit frequently and make sure to raise your kids right. You don't want to be 80 filled with regret and loneliness. I remember watching this one video of an old lady celebrating her 100th birthday and there was like dozens of people in the room. Can you imagine everyone in that room only exists because of her? What a blessing children and family are, don't forego one of the great pleasures of life.

 

[Nak-Muay-Femeu]

I like being alone and being able to do whatever I want whenever. Being around someone all the time sounds annoying. Especially if I have to check everything I do with her. Having kids sounds like a lot of work as well

Especially if she turns out the nagging type who won't stop talking. Long story short I don't think marriage is for everyone and I think I'm that type. To me marriage feels like it's for people who love being sharing things/experiences and being around people

To add to this, where I work I work alone in a room and am by myself all day. I'd assume most people would hate that and would rather work in an office with more people around them. I don't really mind this and prefer working like this compared to sharing the room with a colleague or trying to talk to a lot of people during lunch break. That makes me think I'm the type of person marriage wouldn't work for. In a marriage it's a given you spend a lot of time with your spouse, right?

You should hear your mom out. Parents tend to know us better than we know ourselves sometimes. It's not like you have to marry these women she tries to set you up with, but atleast get to them on a personal level first to see if you're compatiable/have shared interests.

Besides, there's no escaping the fact that your free time will be spent on retarded girl shit, trust me. Restaurants, days out etc, it's never ending even with non-halal girlfriends. The sooner you get comfortable with that idea, the better sxb

I took my parents advice and persued a nice, shy Somali girl who's a family friends daughter and it's going better than expected so far. You might be pleasantly surprised.

 

[Nak-Muay-Femeu]

Stop taking fin and nuking your hormones. Go to turkey, it's not that expensive. Anyways with that being said listen man, I understand exactly how you feel. I also prefer my own space and freedom without being tied to a single person. As for marriage, not everyone is suited for a big commitment like that, but we are Muslim we have no choice other than zina or celibacy. And as a healthy man you will find the latter difficult unless you constantly keep yourself busy.

My advice to you is to view marriage from a different lens. You don't have to marry for love, but I believe it's important to continue your lineage. Think about it that way. For this I don't suggest marrying western women. They watch too many movies and don't want a husband, but rather a best friend. Marry a foreigner instead and let her be the vessel for your progeny. You don't even have to live with her, just visit frequently and make sure to raise your kids right. You don't want to be 80 filled with regret and loneliness. I remember watching this one video of an old lady celebrating her 100th birthday and there was like dozens of people in the room. Can you imagine everyone in that room only exists because of her? What a blessing children and family are, don't forego one of the great pleasures of life.

Spoken like a man who doesn't have a clue about male pattern baldness. The hair on your donor area (back of the head) wouldn't be enough to cover up all the hairless bidaar area unless you're some timo jeleec pajeet. Which is why most clinics tell people to be on fin for atleast 12months before a transplant. It's not uncommon for the hair that isn't transplanted to keep falling out so you end up with this goofy looking head of hair.

OP, keep taking your fin sxb. Just supplement with Zinc, Magnisum and Boron to lower your sex binding hormone globulin and lift weights. Your free testosterone is what counts when it comes to libido, not total testosterone level per-say. The Boron will stop the SHBG from robbing you of your free test. Keep fighting the good fight

 

[Wervelwind]

if you aren’t gonna put the work in then don’t get married and don’t waste some poor girls time and chance.

I agree with you on that. I think you should only go into marriage fully dedicated. That's why getting married because of sexual urges sounds bad to me

Stop taking fin and nuking your hormones. Go to turkey, it's not that expensive. Anyways with that being said listen man, I understand exactly how you feel. I also prefer my own space and freedom without being tied to a single person. As for marriage, not everyone is suited for a big commitment like that, but we are Muslim we have no choice other than zina or celibacy. And as a healthy man you will find the latter difficult unless you constantly keep yourself busy.

My advice to you is to view marriage from a different lens. You don't have to marry for love, but I believe it's important to continue your lineage. Think about it that way. For this I don't suggest marrying western women. They watch too many movies and don't want a husband, but rather a best friend. Marry a foreigner instead and let her be the vessel for your progeny. You don't even have to live with her, just visit frequently and make sure to raise your kids right. You don't want to be 80 filled with regret and loneliness. I remember watching this one video of an old lady celebrating her 100th birthday and there was like dozens of people in the room. Can you imagine everyone in that room only exists because of her? What a blessing children and family are, don't forego one of the great pleasures of life.

I assume you're not balding. This shit sucks and I choose my hair over hormones. I used to think in the past that when I am going to bald I would just shave it all off but I changed my mind on that. I'm not a fan of transplants though from what I've seen.

I see what you mean about marrying for duty. However, as you said, it's best to marry a girl from Somalia then. But I'm not the biggest fan of going to Somalia every now and then to see my family.

You should hear your mom out. Parents tend to know us better than we know ourselves sometimes. It's not like you have to marry these women she tries to set you up with, but atleast get to them on a personal level first to see if you're compatiable/have shared interests.

Besides, there's no escaping the fact that your free time will be spent on retarded girl shit, trust me. Restaurants, days out etc, it's never ending even with non-halal girlfriends. The sooner you get comfortable with that idea, the better sxb

I took my parents advice and persued a nice, shy Somali girl who's a family friends daughter and it's going better than expected so far. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Aren't you scared that when she feels more comfortable you'll be seeing personality traits she's been hiding? Or do you believe how she presents herself is how she is 100%?

Spoken like a man who doesn't have a clue about male pattern baldness. The hair on your donor area (back of the head) wouldn't be enough to cover up all the hairless bidaar area unless you're some timo jeleec pajeet. Which is why most clinics tell people to be on fin for atleast 12months before a transplant. It's not uncommon for the hair that isn't transplanted to keep falling out so you end up with this goofy looking head of hair.

OP, keep taking your fin sxb. Just supplement with Zinc, Magnisum and Boron to lower your sex binding hormone globulin and lift weights. Your free testosterone is what counts when it comes to libido, not total testosterone level per-say. The Boron will stop the SHBG from robbing you of your free test. Keep fighting the good fight

Thanks for the advice

 

[Yaraye]

You should hear your mom out. Parents tend to know us better than we know ourselves sometimes. It's not like you have to marry these women she tries to set you up with, but atleast get to them on a personal level first to see if you're compatiable/have shared interests.

Besides, there's no escaping the fact that your free time will be spent on retarded girl shit, trust me. Restaurants, days out etc, it's never ending even with non-halal girlfriends. The sooner you get comfortable with that idea, the better sxb

I took my parents advice and persued a nice, shy Somali girl who's a family friends daughter and it's going better than expected so far. You might be pleasantly surprised.

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[Ismacilssc]

I like being alone and being able to do whatever I want whenever. Being around someone all the time sounds annoying. Especially if I have to check everything I do with her. Having kids sounds like a lot of work as well

Especially if she turns out the nagging type who won't stop talking. Long story short I don't think marriage is for everyone and I think I'm that type. To me marriage feels like it's for people who love being sharing things/experiences and being around people

To add to this, where I work I work alone in a room and am by myself all day. I'd assume most people would hate that and would rather work in an office with more people around them. I don't really mind this and prefer working like this compared to sharing the room with a colleague or trying to talk to a lot of people during lunch break. That makes me think I'm the type of person marriage wouldn't work for. In a marriage it's a given you spend a lot of time with your spouse, right?

Marriage is not for everybody the older generation infact just used to put up with slot of bs. The next generation is more individual minded and it's actually quiet comforting to hear. The idea that everybody should get married is actually kinda weird in its self.

 

[Ismacilssc]

I'm certain you can find some xalimos interested in part-time long-distance type of marriage, where you can enjoy a few quality months together each year, while also having the freedom to pursue individual interests during the remaining time, creating a sense of personal fulfillment and avoiding boredom.

In this type of aroos, #1 ur mama is gonna be happy, #2 no one will think something is wrong with you like being qaniis laga roone or something but also allows you both to appreciate ur time together even more, as you have space to explore ur own passions and maintain a healthy balance between togetherness and independence.

Nope there is no reason one should marry if he or she don't desire it so many divorce cases in our community because people force marriage or pressure people who have no interest. Also why should anyone give a rats ass about other people opinion u have a short time in this dunya so only care about ur own self saxiib

 

[BoltKing]

I'm in the same boat myself (same age), but my father married in his mid 30's and his younger brothers also married quite late, so my parents haven't bugged me too much about it. I do plan on getting married soon though inshallah, I'm in a better place career-wise at this point.

Interestingly, there might be some heritability to it (these are my results):

 

[Ismacilssc]

I'm certain you can find some xalimos interested in part-time long-distance type of marriage, where you can enjoy a few quality months together each year, while also having the freedom to pursue individual interests during the remaining time, creating a sense of personal fulfillment and avoiding boredom.

In this type of aroos, #1 ur mama is gonna be happy, #2 no one will think something is wrong with you like being qaniis laga roone or something but also allows you both to appreciate ur time together even more, as you have space to explore ur own passions and maintain a healthy balance between togetherness and independence.

Nope there is no reason one should marry if he or she don't desire it so many divorce cases in our community because people force marriage or pressure people who have no interest. Also why should anyone give a rats ass about other people opinion u have a short time in this dunya so only care about ur own self sax

 

[Hilmaam]

I'm in the same boat myself (same age), but my father married in his mid 30's and his younger brothers also married quite late, so my parents haven't bugged me too much about it. I do plan on getting married soon though inshallah, I'm in a better place career-wise at this point.

Interestingly, there might be some heritability to it (these are my results):

View attachment 279945

View attachment 279946

What test is this?

 

[BoltKing]

What test is this?

It's Nebula Genomics, I got the 30x Whole Genomics Sequencing deal a year ago.

 

[Hilmaam]

Nope there is no reason one should marry if he or she don't desire it so many divorce cases in our community because people force marriage or pressure people who have no interest. Also why should anyone give a rats ass about other people opinion u have a short time in this dunya so only care about ur own self sax

Life gets lonely as you age parents die sibling start families. Friends come and go.l health comes and goes. Your strong with good support while young but changes. I’ve seen people regret not starting families never seen opposite in my life. Plus it’s half the deen

 

[Ismacilssc]

Life gets lonely as you age parents die sibling start families. Friends come and go.l health comes and goes. Your strong with good support while young but changes. I’ve seen people regret not starting families never seen opposite in my life. Plus it’s half the deen

For most yes but there a select few who actually prefer it this way one of my uncles absolutely hates the though of people around him he a super introvert and is living his best life travelling the world once he retired so....yeah it's possible for some trust me