How do I become Somali president?

[AbdiBashirJR]

because madoobe is a c*nt

also because villa somalia has given madoobe best excuse ever, they attack him each admin and he cries see i am fighting villa somalia

insha Allah Ogadens will pick a neo nazi next president and he will clean alshabab

madobe is perfect for fighting villa somalia and defends jubbaland - only reason Absame tolerate him now

This is what they all say. The saddest thing about jubbaland is how they turned the most fertile area into a desert because of charcoal trade.

 

[Sputnikaa]

If it’s that easy and madoobe has 20k army why is jubbaland 70% controlled by AS

make someone like me a president of Waamo, I will wipe out kawarij with in 12 months and do Dresden on Jilib from the air, wipe out every living thing and trees and plants and rebuild afterwards. a few pakistani/Chinese J17s each costing 20 million dollars should do and of course mass drone attacks,


also i am pure Ogaden, madoobe is mixed with a fore in gene, we need a ruthless neo Nazi Ogaden first policy leader like the old Ogaden Sultans who conquered Jubbaland and Kenya back in the early 1800s like Sultan Ahmed Magan and Sultan Magan Yusuf

I would literally not mind burning down entire villages and cities to wipe out scourge of terrorism,

 

[Sputnikaa]

This is what they all say. The saddest thing about jubbaland is how they turned the most fertile area into a desert because of charcoal trade.

maodobe stopped this, it was clans like cawrlmare and galjecel and and eley refugees who did this, Ogadens stopped this

 

[Devilsadvocate]

How do I do that? Where would I start?
i think about how that’s what’s needed but instead of one man, you would need an SYL style group where every clan is represented because you know how Somalis will fight you to death the moment you dare say i will free the country even though you’re doing it for them. But they aren’t willing to fight Ethiopia and Kenya for genociding them regularly.
These people make me jump out of the window and end it all.

You need to start your movement back home. We are in the social media era, and Somalis back home have a huge presence on TikTok. So many accounts have 1+ million followers, so I would say now is the perfect time. Look at how the youth of Mogadishu came out to support two youtubers for non-qabil reasons, mind you. Don’t lose hope!

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[Hotchick12]

ogaden have usurped merxaan place in politics

 

[Karim]

But everything you mentioned is the very problem we need to fight and get rid of it. How do we do that? In reality, your average hooyo wants school, healthcare and education for her children . Your average aabo or adult male wants a job that comfortably sustains him and or his family. Clan as it is today only serves as an obstacle. It’s literally irrelevant! We all ran to the west because it was hell back home and look how comfortably we live. In somalia, we have children who don’t even have access to clean water, not because we can’t do it because our leaders think that money is better spent fueling clans wars and funding political campaigns where their goal isn’t to serve the people but to steal from them.

I'm not sure if you understood why I listed those obstacles. Tribalism, diseases, famines, lawlessness, poverty, corruption etc those are the problems that you want to solve IF you become president. The question is; how will you become the president first?! You need to bypass those obstacles and win the presidency, then you'll have the capacity to change the status quo.

 

[Nur_]

Hi sister you’re absolutely spot on. I would take a woman president personally if she was a nationalist and not corrupt. We are losing our country.
I wanted to move back with my kids the last couple years but there’s no place to go back.

i did EE from, graduated in 2017.

I'm convinced we don't have even one ounce of nationalism in our country because of Qabalyad.

Inshallah you'll be able to move back with your children when it's safe. I hear Hargeisa is quite nice for families now.

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[Boomer]

I'm convinced we don't have even one ounce of nationalism in our country because of Qabalyad.

Inshallah you'll be able to move back with your children when it's safe. I hear Hargeisa is quite nice for families now.

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That’s true. Somalis are notoriously unpatriotic in reality, but that won’t stop them from telling you how patriotic they’re.

economic degree is good. Don’t stay in school too long, masters is good stopping point.

 

[Boomer]

I'm not sure if you understood why I listed those obstacles. Tribalism, diseases, famines, lawlessness, poverty, corruption etc those are the problems that you want to solve IF you become president. The question is; how will you become the president first?! You need to bypass those obstacles and win the presidency, then you'll have the capacity to change the status quo.

The chances of someone like me becoming a president is next to zero because you need to be corrupt enough to sell yourself to foreigners first so they can finance your campaign. There is no place for honest man in Somali politics. Consider this a brain storming session because I don’t even see how anyone who isn’t beholden to foreign countries like UAE, Qatar or the west can even get elected. They would be lucky not to get assassinated because the status quo benefits so many foreigners and they can’t have that. So knowing all that, how do you still become president? The Somali people are yearning for strong and honest leadership who will serve them and only them.

 

[Boomer]

You need to start your movement back home. We are in the social media era, and Somalis back home have a huge presence on TikTok. So many accounts have 1+ million followers, so I would say now is the perfect time. Look at how the youth of Mogadishu came out to support two youtubers for non-qabil reasons, mind you. Don’t lose hope!

Spoiler: Asad

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This actually makes me sad because it shows the level of unemployment and ignorance afflicting our youth.

 

[3LetterzMM]

You can’t just dive into politics you gotta go in slowly dip ur toe in first. I’m assuming you live somewhere in the west that’s good you can start by getting a proper education at a good university that’ll put you ahead of most of the competition. After that I would suggest saving up money and collecting donations whenever you can you’ll need campaign funds to get the word out and support any future endeavours.

Running for president right away is a bad idea you don’t have any pull within the govt and locals don’t even know who you are ur just going to get ignored. Ur gonna have to start off small try becoming mayor of whatever tuulo ur from first it’s a great way to introduce yourself to the people, build a rapport and form connections with other politicians around the country. You have to scratch some backs if you want anyone to back you when it’s time and if you’re bringing cheap but effective ways to deal with the problems in the city people will notice and whoever is the current pres is gonna want you on their side working your magic. Soon enough you’ll probably get given a big promotion as a minister of something.

Once you paid ur dues as minister and elections are coming up it’s time for you to take what’s yours. You’re gonna need foreign backing and donors a good start would be whatever country you’re in rn if you’re a citizen it’d be a very good look for them so you have a chance of them backing you, you will have to meet with various clan leaders to get their support you can start with your qabiil and ally qabiils then try to get the rest of them on ur side don’t hold ur breath though you won’t get them all and lastly you’ll have to put the connections you made from serving the govt to use. Fair warning though the way things are rn the only way you can become president is by compromising on some of your morals you WILL have to do things you won’t like. It won’t be easy but if you do what I say the people you helped as mayor and minister will vouch for you, the politicians that you connected with and possibly the former president you served under will put in good word and the international community and pr will nut in their pants when they hear of a man that fled war coming back to serve his country ur gonna break the internet. Good luck my g I’m rooting for u

 

[Nur_]

That’s true. Somalis are notoriously unpatriotic in reality, but that won’t stop them from telling you how patriotic they’re.

economic degree is good. Don’t stay in school too long, masters is good stopping point.

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[tyrannicalmanager]

Sounds very silly but surely I couldn’t do any worse than these blatantly corrupt and careless stooges. Unless Halane is forcing people to become useless and corrupt (because nothing else explains why every president doesn’t at least move the country forward even one step), I would be great for my country. I love my country, I love my people and I genuinely do not believe in clan supremacy. The somali bantu, the madhiban and the so called big clans are the same to me. A bit about me:

I am 32
I have bachelors in Engineering and I intend to get my masters some day, hopefully soon.
I am not gaal or mulxid. I am a practicing Muslim.

as for my political beliefs:
I believe in semi democratic Somalia where the constitution would be mostly inspired by Islamic law for major zero tolerance crimes like murder, rape, corruption(execution for the former two and lengthy prison sentences for the latter). At the same time people would be free to do whatever they want. Ou yeah no fucking social media until everybody’s IQ is at least 100, literally everyone (no adults left behind).

and the biggest reason why i would want to become president is getting rid of halane, cadaan ngos and fucking ethiopian, kenyan and other African soldiers in the country. To do this, I would first have to fight and remove alshabab which I would absolutely prioritize because they are used as pretense as to why we have so much ajnabis stealing our lands, and instigating between our people.

so what do yall think? Am I dreaming here? Should I give up?

if not how do I try? I don’t fucking wanna be beholden to arab daddy countries but at the same time you need money to run.

You have good intentions, but i recommend you stay away from the fitna that is Somali politics and to find alternatives ways to help our people.

 

[Bahal]

This thread genuinely made my head hurt.

Some of the most naive shit I've ever read

 

[TheLand]

This thread genuinely made my head hurt.

Some of the most naive shit I've ever read

They are just kids, not an old man born in kacaan era like you sxb.

 

[Boomer]

They are just kids, not an old man born in kacaan era like you sxb.

I am 32 with 2 kids lol.

 

[Boomer]

This thread genuinely made my head hurt.

Some of the most naive shit I've ever read

I hope this wasn’t meant for me but if it were , let me try to explain. I am at a point where I want to take my children back home because so many of our children have been lost to our host countries. But I don’t have a country to go back to. I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but I feel homeless and like a gypsy with no country to call home. Last year I took my kids to Kenya but ai didn’t like it one bit, and now we are considering elsewhere but I would love that to be anywhere in the somaliwayn land but unfortunately, it can’t be as these lands are either under occupation, under terrorism and clan wars, or severely lack basic human services.