I want to explain to you guys that I know exactly when I am in psychosis. I don't say things for the sake of it. I am in psychosis when my eyes go red as blood all over, when my head inside is boiling inside with fire. It literally feels like hellfire is all over my brain. I think that's what hell is not physical place, it's just your brain is on fire and all your body is in pain and you never get out. I think it's psychosis is hell and it's terrible place. So IF you ever see me ranting to myself, I am talking to the devil again and you need to stop me immediately.
Tell me to take my amisulpride medications and go to sleep because god is happiness and cools your brain down and makes you experience happiness and if that aint happening your in hell niyahow. I went pretty deep sxb to hell, I was in a hypocrit section of hell. I am proud of how strong I am, wallahi most people would've of suicided long ago if they knew what I was experiencing but I don't like to brag about my strength, it just reminds me there is nothing on earth that is going to match that hellish place I went to. It's place of torment but you can handle the torment sxb if your strong enough, I can handle torment, I just realized today on my walk on the nature strip. I can't handle despair though and losing hope there is better days over the horizon and to power on, once that kicks in. I am very much on suicide watch because that's the only time I think of suicide is when I lost all hope that I will recover from psychosis and I feel I am stuck in madness and it's never-ending maze.
Hell is a never-ending maze, every corner you go your head is on fire inside and you think you will see some answer to get you out but you never do and then you give up and say there is no-way I am leaving this what do I do and then suicide comes to thought. I actually strangled myself in the hospital also when despair kicked in and I cried to my aunty that I can't handle it anymore, despair is all over this now and I need to get out of life.
The only time the DR will suicide is when I see no more hope, till then I can power on in life. If I ever see no hope in any job or situation I am in, I am walking out bro. There is no point continuing anymore and it will just add damage to your health and morale and this will trigger a chain effect on the rest of your life like social, financial, hobbies, and will impact on your life.
The Devil told me in psychosis and yes he isn't a bad person, he also wants to help you so you help him out with a few prayers when you get out, I cut that deal with him. If you let me go, I will do my hardest to ask for your forgiveness if god lets me into his gate of heaven. I won't seek revenge I told him. So we were helping each other in a way in psychosis, it's weird I know. But niyahow you start to negiotate when your in hell and cut deals so you get the f*ck outta there. No human being should have to suffer that torment and misery on life. Anyways I am walking out of any job the second hope isn't there. I have prepared income protection and will use a health reason to take time off from work while I find another job to ensure my income continues.
DONT STAY BROTHERS IN ANY JOB HOPE HAS DIED, DESPAIR WILL ONLY FOLLOW.
Tell me to take my amisulpride medications and go to sleep because god is happiness and cools your brain down and makes you experience happiness and if that aint happening your in hell niyahow. I went pretty deep sxb to hell, I was in a hypocrit section of hell. I am proud of how strong I am, wallahi most people would've of suicided long ago if they knew what I was experiencing but I don't like to brag about my strength, it just reminds me there is nothing on earth that is going to match that hellish place I went to. It's place of torment but you can handle the torment sxb if your strong enough, I can handle torment, I just realized today on my walk on the nature strip. I can't handle despair though and losing hope there is better days over the horizon and to power on, once that kicks in. I am very much on suicide watch because that's the only time I think of suicide is when I lost all hope that I will recover from psychosis and I feel I am stuck in madness and it's never-ending maze.
Hell is a never-ending maze, every corner you go your head is on fire inside and you think you will see some answer to get you out but you never do and then you give up and say there is no-way I am leaving this what do I do and then suicide comes to thought. I actually strangled myself in the hospital also when despair kicked in and I cried to my aunty that I can't handle it anymore, despair is all over this now and I need to get out of life.
The only time the DR will suicide is when I see no more hope, till then I can power on in life. If I ever see no hope in any job or situation I am in, I am walking out bro. There is no point continuing anymore and it will just add damage to your health and morale and this will trigger a chain effect on the rest of your life like social, financial, hobbies, and will impact on your life.
The Devil told me in psychosis and yes he isn't a bad person, he also wants to help you so you help him out with a few prayers when you get out, I cut that deal with him. If you let me go, I will do my hardest to ask for your forgiveness if god lets me into his gate of heaven. I won't seek revenge I told him. So we were helping each other in a way in psychosis, it's weird I know. But niyahow you start to negiotate when your in hell and cut deals so you get the f*ck outta there. No human being should have to suffer that torment and misery on life. Anyways I am walking out of any job the second hope isn't there. I have prepared income protection and will use a health reason to take time off from work while I find another job to ensure my income continues.
DONT STAY BROTHERS IN ANY JOB HOPE HAS DIED, DESPAIR WILL ONLY FOLLOW.