Samira
Illuminated Xalimo
I have managed to successfully corrupt the religion of many of my family members and close associates. The story of Barsisa (may Naar be pleased with his soul) provides the blueprint for conversion. Everything must be incremental. You start out by introducing them to alternative prayer methods backed up with "hadiths" you know are of weak origin. It's not my fault that the shiekhs keep them around for me to abuse. This is especially good for those who are health conscious or have weak backs or legs. "Relax," I say to them "Mental sujood is as legitimate as physical. Imagine yourself prostrating and it is as good as the real thing." Then you tell them you can make up any prayer you miss, anytime you wish. Fajr is such a pain. They have early morning meetings, they have to sleep. Once their prayer has been rendered meaningless, you advance onto other areas "You don't have to wash your feet for wudthu, just run a wet finger along the bottom of your socks," "Zakah isn't 2% of your income, but 2% of what you have on you at the mosque" and "you don't have to fast if you are working a double shift." While this is all going on, the Saudis will ban them from Hijrah. The five pillar must fall before you can advance to other areas. Now my own mother has started to toy with going to mixed yoga classes. She doesn't do any mental sujood there.
Of course, this has prompted a Salafi backlash from some other members of my family. But you must plan even for this. Hide your own involvement in their bid'ah and tell these would-be Wahhabis that they should personally monitor what others do to "bring them back to the Salaf." They will proceed to whip and beat everyone who followed my advice. This drives them even further into my arms. I provide solace and comfort. Humans love being comforted. They will learn to hate everything orthodox. The women will fight the men and break their control.
The end goal is to discredit both liberal and conservative Islam. The resultant void can then be filled by atheism and hedonism. But these are also designed to fail. Once they do, they will return begrudgingly to my "Islam" where their prayers are led by an Android app and all khutbahs are generated by algorithms. Women will pray with men because there "isn't enough space in the women's side." All divisions will blur. The final sign of my victory will be the embrace of new tafsirs on the fall of Adam, and the idea that Jahanam is only for bad people.
This new way of thinking will soon spread. The future is red, red, red!
Of course, this has prompted a Salafi backlash from some other members of my family. But you must plan even for this. Hide your own involvement in their bid'ah and tell these would-be Wahhabis that they should personally monitor what others do to "bring them back to the Salaf." They will proceed to whip and beat everyone who followed my advice. This drives them even further into my arms. I provide solace and comfort. Humans love being comforted. They will learn to hate everything orthodox. The women will fight the men and break their control.
The end goal is to discredit both liberal and conservative Islam. The resultant void can then be filled by atheism and hedonism. But these are also designed to fail. Once they do, they will return begrudgingly to my "Islam" where their prayers are led by an Android app and all khutbahs are generated by algorithms. Women will pray with men because there "isn't enough space in the women's side." All divisions will blur. The final sign of my victory will be the embrace of new tafsirs on the fall of Adam, and the idea that Jahanam is only for bad people.
This new way of thinking will soon spread. The future is red, red, red!
Be bold, be bald and stay away from Ba'al.
