Fatherless

[Yaraye]

Let me be the devil’s advocate.
Are we not conflating a number of issues?
The state of one being a fatherless arises due to a number of factors, and perhaps we want to separate those by distinct state groups:
a) Those, who lost their father(s) at a young age,
b) Those, whose father(s) married a second wife, begetting a breakdown in the family unit, and
c) Those, whose father(s) just walked away. Surely, there is a clear distinction there, and not all could be lumped together, a trend observed more common in N. America.

Further, we may want to consider the simple fact that whilst men seem to be practising the second wife principle, most women in the West are not accepting of the practice, and are choosing to either end the marriage, or distant themselves from the husbands whilst seeking sole custody of the children, which in turn adversely impacts the children. Granted, some fathers are awfully irresponsible whilst some mothers are terrible, if uncompromising, when they realise to be financially independent, hardly considering adverse implications to the kids, but rather more concerned with their social standing.

i) How does one measure the percentage in category (b)?
ii) How does one measure the percentage in category (c)?
iii) How does one measure in the event where a mother chooses to go it alone, take the kids, and removes the father from the equation? Could we still blame the father?

you changed your pfp. is that you on the new pic?

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

you changed your pfp. is that you on the new pic?

Not quite. Was I not supposed to do that?

 

[Yaraye]

huh?

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

huh?

That is the Khaatumo flag being raised in LA. stay on message, missy.

 

[Burqad]

Fatherlessness in the Somali community usually means the father is in the home but takes a backseat with regard to child rearing and spends time on FKD or Africa.

Very few Somalis genuinely don’t have a father in their life.

True. Even Somali men who marry foreign women don’t abandon or can’t abandon their children. knew a guy who went to South Africa, met a Zulu/boer women, and his beel forced him to marry her when they got word that she had a child from her.

 

[Yaraye]

That is the Khaatumo flag being raised in LA.

okay..... but is the man in the pic you?

 

[Periplus]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

okay..... but is the man in the pic you?

No, it is not. I am 6ft tall, 13.5 stone.

 

[Yaraye]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

looooool! my mother was the same way. She had copies of my syllabus even when i was in collage. may allah bless her beautiful heart

 

[Yaraye]

No, it is not. I am 6ft tall, 13.5 stone.

If that’s true, then Mashallah

 

[Calaami]

True. Even Somali men who marry foreign women don’t abandon or can’t abandon their children. knew a guy who went to South Africa, met a Zulu/boer women, and his beel forced him to marry her when they got word that she had a child from her.

That’s a very good thing they did wlle, saved that poor kid from not having a sturdy family unit.

 

[Ragaasi]

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Yaraye]

True. Even Somali men who marry foreign women don’t abandon or can’t abandon their children. knew a guy who went to South Africa, met a Zulu/boer women, and his beel forced him to marry her when they got word that she had a child from her.

In the previous gen of Somali fathers I’d say that It really depends on the man. Some really fear allah or have great fatherly instinct that even certain circumstances will not stop them. While some are absolutely heartless. I am starting to see change tho. I can’t tell if it’s for good or bad. I see an influx of Somali men who are even more hands on with their children than the previous gen of a typical Somali father. but I also see an influx of Somali men who took the madow men route. Sire bastard children here and there and abandon them. I guess time will tell

 

[𝕃𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕙]

I was raised by my mother alone (may Allah bless her beyond death ameen) She was so patient and I gave her a hard time as a teenager

My father was a horrible man and my mother stood up for me my whole life. I left my home city with her to my campus house. I hope I was able to pay her back

A mother is strong, any mother loves, and all mothers are pillars. Them being criminals is their choice. Please phrase your words differently, there are a lot of people out there in the world who were raised by strong and resilient mothers alone

I' m sorry for your loss walaal. Inshallah your mother will be in Jannatul Firdaws. Stay strong

 

[Amber]

I' m sorry for your loss walaal. Inshallah your mother will be in Jannatul Firdaws. Stay strong

Thank you, walaal <33 I appreciate your kindness and sincerity. May Allah be with you