Don’t be pressured into having kids early

[NordicSomali]

Lots of Somalis are getting married very young because they’ve been pressured, my advice is not to succumb to the pressure.

So many people regret having kids because it’s a 24/7 hour commitment, and once you have kids you can’t go back.

So be very very very sure you’re ready.

 

[hamar_oo_iidil]

Why are we so anti- getting married young? I think we've past the point along the curve where the pressure to get married early was at its peak. In my opinion we've become too comfortable in delaying marriage and there are consequences to that also. For both men and women.

So many people regret having kids because it’s a 24/7 hour commitment, and once you have kids you can’t go back.

Why would having a child be a burden to the point where you would regret having your own child? I feel like saying something like that is vile and nasty. No parent should ever say they regret having their children. Just having that belief in your child's mind, is sufficient to emotionally traumatise them.

So be very very very sure you’re ready.

Nobody is ever "very, very, very sure" about anything in life. You're being way too cautious and that can also be destructive. Imagine giving up on the whole idea of starting a family on the basis that you're not ready yet. Or you're not "very, very, very sure" yet. Fearing you'd "regret having kids because it's a 24/7 hour commitment, and once you have kids you can't go back".

Be a man, and commit to your family, do the best you can.

Stop thinking its cool for a man to be unmarried and childless. Its just as much a burden on us as men as it is on our sisters.

 

[Ahmed123-]

24/7 hour commitment

kids don't need their father 24/7

 

[rep]

It's a question of money and having the right spouse almost everything you can do without kids you can do with kids. All this talk about needing to wait is dumb for most and a huge waste of time. Your making it seem as if raising children is rocket science compared to only a 100 years ago it's very easy to raise children in the west especially in europe where everything is paid for .

 

[Basra]

No, actually for Somalis i encourage early marriage.



I think Somalis need to marry early. The older they get, the messed up their hormones becomes. Both Xalimos and Farahs. The more riskier for autism & mental illness will start to kick in. Have sex early early the hormones and fresh and right.

 

[TheManWhoIsAlive]

Lots of Somalis are getting married very young because they’ve been pressured, my advice is not to succumb to the pressure.

So many people regret having kids because it’s a 24/7 hour commitment, and once you have kids you can’t go back.

So be very very very sure you’re ready.

I'm waiting until later myself, but I'm a very ambitious man and building my career. If you as a man are not as ambitious or are good because you chose a good field, I recommend marriage to avoid temptation. I'm in an industry and company that can result in me moving to different places to move up. That's why I'm kind of waiting before getting married.

 

[Kalsoon]

How do you know lots of Somalis are getting married/ having children because they’re pressured to? Did you ask those around you or do you know something we don’t know?

 

[Febbie]

Why are we so anti- getting married young? I think we've past the point along the curve where the pressure to get married early was at its peak. In my opinion we've become too comfortable in delaying marriage and there are consequences to that also. For both men and women.

Why would having a child be a burden to the point where you would regret having your own child? I feel like saying something like that is vile and nasty. No parent should ever say they regret having their children. Just having that belief in your child's mind, is sufficient to emotionally traumatise them.

Nobody is ever "very, very, very sure" about anything in life. You're being way too cautious and that can also be destructive. Imagine giving up on the whole idea of starting a family on the basis that you're not ready yet. Or you're not "very, very, very sure" yet. Fearing you'd "regret having kids because it's a 24/7 hour commitment, and once you have kids you can't go back".

Be a man, and commit to your family, do the best you can.

Stop thinking its cool for a man to be unmarried and childless. Its just as much a burden on us as men as it is on our sisters.

I could be wrong, but I think you have misjudged the sentiment OP was expressing. He was not discouraging being a parent, he was simply saying be ready, mentally, emotionally to handle parenthood because its not easy.

When it comes to having children, most people who want them are definitely very sure about that.