Domestic Violence, Or A Scam? How About Our Reputation?

[AussieHustler]

I got a great Somali friend who works as a..........& he is a calm, very intelligent and asked me to urgently meet him. Long story short. He seemed to be very angry and agitated and he told me about a report prepared for a government department by a coalition of women, family refuges and domestic violence groups. He said, this report states that Somalis have the highest percentage (per-capita) of domestic violence in Melbourne given the numbers of Somali women and children in these shelters. Over 80% of these cases, the women didn’t want to pursue and lay charges against their husbands because they all cited family and clan pressures and if they do, then they will be disowned by their families and the community. Unbeknown to them, these organisations are now lobbying the government to exert pressure on the community (men) to not silence these victims either via a legislation or via community education. The problem is;

Most of these women and children who applied for protection against domestic violence have hatched this scam with their husbands and are applying for public housing and by claiming domestic violence, they will be offered short-term housing and then only, will they be given a priority where they will be immediately settled in a public housing. Their selfishness has done a massive damage to the reputation of Somalis. He said, if you go to Somalis and ask them how to get a priority housing, it will be highly recommended to send the family to these organisations and claim domestic violence. I had no answers for him.

Does it happen in your neck of the woods? Is it worth claiming public housing on the pretext of domestic violence or do you see it as a problem? Why and how? How will it affect the genuine 20% who have experienced domestic violence? Discuss?

 

[VixR]

If this is true, Ceydh has really bit the community in the ass in every conceivable way.

I only know two couples: one of them, the lady left the house to a women’s shelter with the two kids bc of domestic violence, got a restraining order and divorce. There was this other couple where the woman and the man had extreme karate style abuse on both ends, dude would go the masjid with her blood on his khamis type shit. They got divorced.

For the most part, I don’t get the impression that Somali men are generally into domestic violence, and I wouldn’t be surprised if these couples used it to con for ceydh purposes just like in claiming the child has no father when they do. However, these are people that have lived here. Idk about what FOBs or recents are like.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

That’s crazy af.

I only know one abuse story and that couple got divorced.

 

[AussieHustler]

If this is true, Ceydh has really bit the community in the ass in every conceivable way.

I only know two couples: one of them, the lady left the house to a women’s shelter with the two kids bc of domestic violence, got a restraining order and divorce. There was this other couple where the woman and the man had extreme karate style abuse on both ends, dude would go the masjid with her blood on her khamis type shit. They got divorced.

For the most part, I don’t get the impression that Somali men are generally into domestic violence, and I wouldn’t be surprised if these couples used it to con for ceydh purposes just like in claiming the child has no father when they do. However, these are people that have lived here. Idk about what FOBs or recent are like.

VixR

Given the higher rates of divorces among us, Somalis, there will be many cases of domestic violence. But now it seems to get a public housing (waiting period is 3-5 years) the family has to join the statistics of domestic violence.

 

[VixR]

VixR

Given the higher rates of divorces among us, Somalis, there will be many cases of domestic violence. But now it seems to get a public housing (waiting period is 3-5 years) the family has to join the statistics of domestic violence.

That’s incredibly fucked up. I can’t believe they go that far.

I’ve never heard of this happening for benefits. If you think about it, a couple agreeing to lie that their child is fatherless is going far too and I think it’s self-fulfilling prophecy to where the father will come to subconsciously think he has no role anymore. I guess this is icing on the cake. I wonder what the real percentages are. It obscures women who are having real problems, and ballons it to a population-wide issue for fraud purposes. I understand your friend’s anger. But then what can you do if these ppl are willing to go there for their own ends...

Showing up in a women’s shelter when you’re not actually suffering any abuse is pretty epic in itself, and that’s the part that gives me pause about this. I’ve seen how they look and these shelters are no accommodation for a woman with children no less, who isn’t actually in real need. This would have to be a huge, orchestrated deception, and one you tag your children along on while all the while it’s fake? That’s what gives me doubt.

 

[HalimaJ]

If some Somali couples are hatching plots to pretend they are unmarried to get extra money, I wouldn't put it past them that some will pretend to be victims so they can get housing and money.

I know many couples who are happily married and the woman poses as single and gets benefits and the husband is in the house benefiting from goverment money.

It pains me to ask this, but where is their sense of manliness? How do they deal with themselves knowing that they can't even be bothered to provide for their family?

I'm not suggesting domestic violence doesn't happen, but its rare in our community. So I fully buy the idea that more than half are scammers.

 

[Gooney112]

VixR

Given the higher rates of divorces among us, Somalis, there will be many cases of domestic violence. But now it seems to get a public housing (waiting period is 3-5 years) the family has to join the statistics of domestic violence.

I dont know about adults, but when I was teen I knew 3 people who called social services in sweden. Even I did it at 15, then when my parents spoke to me what I just did, I took it back. We had a polish kid who was abused by his dad and he was given his own flat. So as 15 year olds we got it, me and another friend took it back, the other somali guy got his own place within 2 months, that was our party place.

So yeah somalis will scam and lie, and in social countries, if you are a victim, they will pull the red carpet for you

 

[VixR]

If some Somali couples are hatching plots to pretend they are unmarried to get extra money, I wouldn't put it past them that some will pretend to be victims so they can get housing and money.

I know many couples who are happily married and the woman poses as single and gets benefits and the husband is in the house benefiting from goverment money.

It pains me to ask this, but where is their sense of manliness? How do they deal with themselves knowing that they can't even be bothered to provide for their family?

I'm not suggesting domestic violence doesn't happen, but its rare in our community. So I fully buy the idea that more than half are scammers.

What goes into pretending the child is fatherless? Do they check the house or something? Is there even a burden of proof?

Meanwhile, going to a women’s shelter and pretending you’re a battered woman with your child(ren) in tow is so bizarre to me. That’s absolutely epic.

 

[Gooney112]

If some Somali couples are hatching plots to pretend they are unmarried to get extra money, I wouldn't put it past them that some will pretend to be victims so they can get housing and money.

I know many couples who are happily married and the woman poses as single and gets benefits and the husband is in the house benefiting from goverment money.

It pains me to ask this, but where is their sense of manliness? How do they deal with themselves knowing that they can't even be bothered to provide for their family?

I'm not suggesting domestic violence doesn't happen, but its rare in our community. So I fully buy the idea that more than half are scammers.

You cant be a hustler and have pride, it doesnt go together. But somalis are scam artist. There was an incident at my work where they dont recruit somalis from recruitment agencies anymore. They had problem with somalis for a while and when I came on board and was part of the recruitment people, the manager explained to me and said dont take this personal. but we have had bad experienced with somalis. I stupidly argued for my people and they say ok......one more chance then. This somali guy we had him for 9 weeks, he called in sick 6 fridays and 1 friday he had family isue he said. after 9 week he left after stealing stuff worth 10k and left the country.

 

[HalimaJ]

What goes into pretending the child is fatherless? Do they check the house or something? Is there even a burden of proof?

Meanwhile, going to a women’s shelter and pretending you’re a battered woman with your child(ren) in tow is so bizarre to me. That’s absolutely epic.

There isn't a burden of proof with regards to being a single mother. You're right. In the UK they are questioned and usually the women will just spin a story of being abandoned.

However, there are cases in the community in which some men pretend to be disabled to get an allowance or exaggerate.
That requires proof and some just go that extra mile.

I know it sounds heartless and I understand that as people we never know what goes on behind closed doors. Abuse happens in every community and I am sure there are a few Somali women who are genuine about their ordeal.

Its just that I have been exposed to the lengths some families will go to get government handouts. I've seen and heard wild stories that have made my head shake with disbelief.

 

[Oortcloud]

You cant be a hustler and have pride, it doesnt go together. But somalis are scam artist. There was an incident at my work where they dont recruit somalis from recruitment agencies anymore. They had problem with somalis for a while and when I came on board and was part of the recruitment people, the manager explained to me and said dont take this personal. but we have had bad experienced with somalis. I stupidly argued for my people and they say ok......one more chance then. This somali guy we had him for 9 weeks, he called in sick 6 fridays and 1 friday he had family isue he said. after 9 week he left after stealing stuff worth 10k and left the country.

Doesnt make sense.wasnt the agency on red alert for somalis

 

[Gooney112]

Doesnt make sense.wasnt the agency on red alert for somalis

Recruitment agency can deny you work because someone from your country didnt do good job, thats illegal. Instead our manager spoke to the guy who does recruitment for our contract and told him on the low, no somalis.....last fool not only stole from the company, he stole from a lady who trusted him with her stuff while planning to move.

 

[VixR]

There isn't a burden of proof with regards to being a single mother. You're right. In the UK they are questioned and usually the women will just spin a story of being abandoned.

However, there are cases in the community in which some men pretend to be disabled to get an allowance or exaggerate.
That requires proof and some just go that extra mile.

I know it sounds heartless and understand that as people we never know what goes on behind closed doors. Abuse happens in every community and I am sure there are a few Somali women who genuine about their ordeal.

Its just that I have been exposed to the lengths some families will go to get government handouts. I've seen and heard wild stories that have made my head shake in disbelief.

I’m surprised by it, because it’s much more involved and on a whole other level from pretending to be single.

I guess I’ve heard about the insurance frauds from car accidents...

I wonder what Aussie meant by community education or legislation, and what exactly they plan to do about it? If its just anti-domestic violence campaigns that won’t do anything for obvious reasons.

I wonder how much they get in ceydh, what the numbers are they would go to such lengths for, whether these are the same people who’re claiming to be single that’re claiming they were battered as well, and what benefit there is to these handouts. Benefits can’t be enough to live comfortably or everyone would be on them, you have to agree to live a mediocre life to be satisfied by it.

 

[HalimaJ]

I’m surprised by it, because it’s much more involved and on a whole other level from pretending to be single.

I guess I’ve heard about the insurance frauds in car accidents...

I wonder what Aussie meant by community education or legislation, and what exactly they plan to do about it? If it just anti-domestic violence campaign that won’t do shit for obvious reasons.

I wonder how much they get in ceydh, what the numbers are they would go to such lengths for, if these the same people who’re claiming to be single that’re claiming to be were battered as well, and what benefit is there to these handouts. Benefits can’t be enough to live comfortably or everyone would be on them, you have to live a mediocre life.

It's usually to do with social housing. In the UK, it's becoming increasingly difficult to get subsidised housing if you're not a single mother. I can imagine it can become much easier if you're a battered single mother, who is running away from an abusive ex.

On top of getting council housing, the family is getting extra benefits. That's the whole point in pretending to be single. The wife gets benefits and the husband gets seperate benefits/ job seekers allowance.

In some cases, the wife pretends to be single to get benefits, even though her husband works. Therefore, she has two streams of income. One provided by the husband and one by the goverment. On top of that since she is supposedly 'single', she is given housing and the husband in turn does need to worry about paying rent.

That's why they go through crazy lengths because they get double the benefits of an honest single mother who really doesn't have a husband.

 

[Emily]

 

[Mercury]

That’s messed up the fact that they lying that they’re abused what are they teaching their kids it’s ok to lie and take advantage of the system?

 

[Mercury]

It's usually to do with social housing. In the UK, it's becoming increasingly difficult to get subsidised housing if you're not a single mother. I can imagine it can become much easier if you're a battered single mother, who is running away from an abusive ex.

On top of getting council housing, the family is getting extra benefits. That's the whole point in pretending to be single. The wife gets benefits and the husband gets seperate benefits/ job seekers allowance.

In some cases, the wife pretends to be single to get benefits, even though her husband works. Therefore, she has two streams of income. One provided by the husband and one by the goverment. On top of that since she is supposedly 'single', she is given housing and the husband in turn does need to worry about paying rent.

That's why they go through crazy lengths because they get double the benefits of an honest single mother who really doesn't have a husband.

Don’t these guys have any honor or manliness?

They would be ok with their wife lying to get benefits any Somali guy that works and provides for his family should never even allow his wife to accept taking benefits

 

[AussieHustler]

I’m surprised by it, because it’s much more involved and on a whole other level from pretending to be single.

I guess I’ve heard about the insurance frauds from car accidents...

I wonder what Aussie meant by community education or legislation, and what exactly they plan to do about it? If its just anti-domestic violence campaigns that won’t do anything for obvious reasons.

I wonder how much they get in ceydh, what the numbers are they would go to such lengths for, whether these are the same people who’re claiming to be single that’re claiming they were battered as well, and what benefit there is to these handouts. Benefits can’t be enough to live comfortably or everyone would be on them, you have to agree to live a mediocre life to be satisfied by it.

VixR

It’s a bit hard for an American to understand the generous Liberal welfare system in Canada, Europe and Australia/New Zealand. Halima J has articulated very well how people cheat the system, but this involves the mother and father deciding the best and quickest way to get a public housing is if she takes her suitcase and the kids to one of these domestic violence agencies and fills a form of domestic abuse and applies for an assistance. To get help with public housing & other assistance, they’ve to claim physical abuse and not only mental abuse which could be referred to marriage counseling and et.al. Once they fill the physical violence, the agencies contact the police to investigate further. Once the wife insists that she isn’t interested in laying charges against her husband, there is nothing the police could do and exit the picture.

Now these agencies ask these women what’s stopping them to seek justice because they honestly believe their cases are real and if some of these men are punished for the abuse, it might send to the rest of Somali men that the law doesn’t tolerate domestic abuse. The Somali ladies will claim if their case goes to court, they will be disowned by their families and clans/community. A uniformity of lies and deceit. These agencies came to the conclusion that domestic violence is embedded within the Somali culture and the women are still scared of other Somali men who want to silence them and victimise them again. Now, they want the government to do something about it either via legislation or community education programs. They have the data to back them up.

A data based on Somali lies and scams.

 

[VixR]

@HalimaJ @AussieHustler

That’s really something. I still wish I had numbers, what kind of benefits are they giving out over there? How much cheaper is public housing and is it in shitty areas? Somalis should be exempted from claiming govt assistance wallahi. It’ll have better outcomes in the long run.

What’s your friend going to do, whistleblow?

 

[HalimaJ]

Don’t these guys have any honor or manliness?

They would be ok with their wife lying to get benefits any Somali guy that works and provides for his family should never even allow his wife to accept taking benefits

The problem is we are not a group of people that value work ethic as much as we should. I do not want to generalise, but it seems that many are hellbent on always taking the easy route, regardless of morality.

Example, historically blacksmiths, builders, carpenters and farmers have been looked down upon in Somali society. Those that took on those job roles were usually from low caste minority tribes like the Yibir and Tumaal.

Funnily enough on the other hand, everywhere else in the world those jobs that I have mentioned were considered honorable as it required a level of skill, hardwork and masculine strengh.

Hence why, I don't think we have a culture of men actually taking pride in hard work and producing something. If we did, most would be too ashamed to sit in Tim Hortons all day talking politics. If anything such behaviour would be stigmatised.