Do You Agree with His Decision?

Do you agree with his decision?


  • Total voters
    43
I recently met a friend of mine who was in doubt about the women he wanted to marry with regards to how well she is known or a lack thereof for the better, ofcourse he prefers one that isn't like most healthy males.

I advised him to take her out to a busy high street that's local and observe the direct/indirect/subtle interactions taking place whilst keeping his big mouth shut so he can observe while allowing her to do the same.

He just reported back to me in total shock calling the whole marriage off after counting almost 20 people she knew in the space of 60 minutes, 10 of them being males.

These interactions were of course mostly the friendly "Hi/Nod" gestures from a distance but three of those guys went further and came over for a brief chat while shaking his hand, one of them even hugged her. (he was in utter disbelief throughout)

I told him prior that misery loves company and most of these diaspora women are mini shameless celebrities that thrive of attention whoring until it catches up with them later in life.

I also told him the figure is likely higher then 10 as some males have more of an innate shame not to do such things when she is with someone in public unlike those other xoolo's

In light of this it would interesting to make a public poll to see what the wider sspot community thinks about this decision, interesting to read all the different points of views.
 

dr.leorio

death\emitter
This is my greatest fear when it comes to me looking for marriage in the future. No man in his right mind would wife up a born again Xalimo like that with a past. The worst part is that they'll never be up front and 100% honest of their younger days. Your friend definitely made the right decision to dodge the bullet and I like the idea you came up with. Stories like these make me wanna brush up on my Somali and find a young Xalimo back home because this is just ridiculous.
 
What was the point of observing her? To come to what conclusion?
To see how many males she knows as well as the types of males, this is an indication as to the kind of person you are dealing with, general rule of thumb for a healthy male is the less the better, but for some of us even the 'less' is problematic.

Being a mini celebrity entails you have been out a lot, whether it's parties, clubs, shiisha etc. which indicates you have been torn to pieces a few times and gone in six feet deep.

:cosbyhmm:Were they her exes or what? Especially the one that hugged her?
He doesn't know this because he doesn't care, whether they were penpals, went to a prom night together, dated, never dated, all of this is irrelevant because his decision was not based on these factors, the problem was knowing them and knowing so many in just a 60 minute brisk walk!
 
I'm in two minds about this. On the one hand, I can see why that would concern him. And if it was a random outing that led to those insights, then fair enough his feelings are somewhat valid.

But he went out in search of potential bad news in the process of planning his wedding, that's weird as hell. It spells insecurity and paranoia on his behalf. Why not simply ask her beforehand.
 

TooMacaan

VIP
20 ppl in the space of 60 min...randomly in the middle of the street?? That's a very unlikely scenario tbh.

Unless one lives in a small (but populated) town or she frequently volunteers in the community.

Ppl shouldn't automatically assume a girl has 'a past' just bc she's sociable/popular though; there are def other possible factors.
 
This is my greatest fear when it comes to me looking for marriage in the future. No man in his right mind would wife up a born again Xalimo like that with a past. The worst part is that they'll never be up front and 100% honest of their younger days. Your friend definitely made the right decision to dodge the bullet and I like the idea you came up with. Stories like these make me wanna brush up on my Somali and find a young Xalimo back home because this is just ridiculous.
I have known women that were mini celebrities that never gave it up in any hole with strong principles/morals

These were mostly from my generation and you won't find them in the younger ones that are a million times more decadent and vile.

The problem here is not her chastity but her popularity which irks him (he is convinced of her chastity) In contemporary times these are your mature Instagram Hijabi's! she maybe be chaste, but is also very known/popular.

This whole thing began because he got me to meet her to get a second more experienced assessment. I pointed out to him this predilection to attention-whoring which I sensed strongly from her which as a result made him suspicious until he could no longer handle it.

He wanted to put this to the test and hence I suggested that idea to him.
 
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This exists in every community that has humans.

And your friend just nuked his life with an emotional bomb.

Unless he's expecting to have Somali women fall from ciirka like prestine rain droplets, his decision is complete Xoolonimo.

I'm worried for your friend because he chose to take major life decision based on his emotions.

This is dangerous and if you move throughout life making difficult decisions based on your emotions than your life will be filled with hardship and regret. Emotional decisions can great financial losses and gains for others who pray on people making emotional decisions.

Your friend is completely blind to the fact that many Somali women grew up like the rest of us in public housing surrounded by males in their innocence.

When you're a child growing up, you can't control who you grow up around and if 10-20 Somali males approached her, they could have been from any era of her life.

It seems your friend wants his wife to walk around with a "Married Sticker" on her forehead. Maskiinka is being pulled apart by his emotions and insecurity.
 

John Michael

Free my girl Jodi!
VIP
:damn:

When he marries the girl with no friends he'll be *****ing about her being boring and having no interests. If she's charismatic and likeable I would think that a good thing, no? Not with contrarian abdis. They want a perfect girl and to pay zero in mehr.

I'm sure she'll find a better husband, no loss for her. :mjpls:
 
I say grow some balls and drop the feelings. This is insecure thinking, where you feel socially inadequate compared to the female you're seeing.



She should be the one calling of the wedding if anything, because it's obvious your friend will find other things to be insecure about and lash out by exerting "dominance" either physically or orally, or he'll be miserable, jealous and insecure for the rest of the marriage.
 
As if she wants such a calculated husband that "observes her subtle interactions" like he is muthafukin Sherlock Holmes.
He made the right decision but for her sake.
 

dr.leorio

death\emitter
I have known women that were mini celebrities that never gave it up in any hole with strong principles/morals

These were mostly from my generation and you won't find them in the younger ones that are a million times more decadent and vile.

The problem here is not her chastity but her popularity which irks him (he is convinced of her chastity) In contemporary times these are your mature Instagram Hijabi's! she maybe be chaste, but is also very known/popular.

This whole thing began because he got me to meet her to get a second more experienced assessment. I pointed out to him this predilection to attention-whoring which I sensed strongly from her which as a result made him suspicious until he could no longer handle it.

He wanted to put this to the test and hence I suggested that idea to him.
Only a fool would marry the popular girl in town i.e. the girl that seeks attention from the masses either thru online social media like instagram/twitter or thru partying and social gatherings like shisha or the club. It's not even about chastity like you said but about the idea of seeking validation thru excessive amounts of attention. It's just not healthy and usually comes from deep seeded problems that's rooted in the girls past. No real man wants a girl like that because it's obvious you'll have problems later on in the marriage. You're a good friend for pointing that out and helping with the screening process. There is definitely more fish in the sea for your friend as their are a plethora of Muslim women looking for marriage so he just needs to keep looking. And besides I feel like we're slowly approaching the moment in human history were the Prophet (pbuh) predicted that their would be 50 women for 1 man. So the odds are forever in our favor!
 
This exists in every community that has humans.

And your friend just nuked his life with an emotional bomb.

Unless he's expecting to have Somali women fall from ciirka like prestine rain droplets, his decision is complete Xoolonimo.

I'm worried for your friend because he chose to take major life decision based on his emotions.

This is dangerous and if you move throughout life making difficult decisions based on your emotions than your life will be filled with hardship and regret. Emotional decisions can great financial losses and gains for others who pray on people making emotional decisions.

Your friend is completely blind to the fact that many Somali women grew up like the rest of us in public housing surrounded by males in their innocence.

When you're a child growing up, you can't control who you grow up around and if 10-20 Somali males approached her, they could have been from any era of her life.

It seems your friend wants his wife to walk around with a "Married Sticker" on her forehead. Maskiinka is being pulled apart by his emotions and insecurity.
His decision has no emotional component attached whatsoever, it was purely driven by logic, experience and wisdom.

I grew up in such blocks and was virtually keeping myself in solitude being mostly unknown and I remain so until this day, even those who did knew me (just by face) had no rapport with me whatsoever and thus would never greet me on the streets.

However a women that is comfortable with a dude that is hugging her on the streets, shaking her hand or the lesser forms of (hi from a distance while she is out with another man) is a guy that has a deep rapport with that women and therefore we can judge her character based on that, the same way we would do to a male.

In the other thread you stated how you are wary of being associated with some males because it will tarnish your rep if not destroy you outright, that's you as an individual man worried about your rep.

The average somewhat intelligent female cares about her rep far more then you would ever do because it's more critical for her and she is biologically programmed to do so.

If you as a male take such care in safeguarding it and she as a female that's biologically predisposed neglects this, it means your dealing with an absolute colossal train-wreck cursed with a malignant form of attention-whoring syndrome.

These are the kinds of women that strip on paltalk/skype while their cuck beta husbands are away at work.

For all your financial/economical/business knowledge you lack very basic knowledge/experience on the biological predispositions of women, my guess is that you got married very young and was never able to acquire this as a result through experience.
 

kickz

Engineer of Qandala
VIP
A gaal work supervisor once told me he knew his wife was the right one, and I asked him how did he know?:dwill:

And he told me he had a group of his friends hit on her at a bar, while he went to the bathroom. :jaynerd:

She didn't take any of them up on the offer and thus shortly after he proposed to her.:mjlol:
 
His decision has no emotional component attached whatsoever, it was purely driven by logic, experience and wisdom.

I grew up in such blocks and was virtually keeping myself in solitude being mostly unknown and I remain so until this day, even those who did knew me (just by face) had no rapport with me whatsoever and thus would never greet me on the streets.

However a women that is comfortable with a dude that is hugging her on the streets, shaking her hand or the lesser forms of (hi from a distance while she is out with another man) is a guy that has a deep rapport with that women and therefore we can judge her character based on that, the same way we would do to a male.

In the other thread you stated how you are wary of being associated with some males because it will tarnish your rep if not destroy you outright, that's you as an individual man worried about your rep.

The average somewhat intelligent female cares about her rep far more then you would ever do because it's more critical for her and she is biologically programmed to do so.

If you as a male take such care in safeguarding it and she as a female that's biologically predisposed neglects this, it means your dealing with an absolute colossal train-wreck cursed with a malignant form of attention-whoring syndrome.

These are the kinds of women that strip on paltalk/skype while their cuck beta husbands are away at work.

For all your financial/economical/business knowledge you lack very basic knowledge/experience on the biological predispositions of women, my guess is that you got married very young and was never able to acquire this as a result through experience.
That's not cool man.

Pride is so high in our males that if anyone approaches someone's wife they assume she's untrustworthy.

In my marriage we have a home together, children and work together. When my wife is approached in public with me and other males greet her, I don't freak out based on emotions. Even when she steps out to have dinner with her friends, I expect other males to try and do what single males do.

We have other worries like mortgage bills, paying tuition, capital gains taxes, savings for children school.

There's is no way I'm going to let emotional pride destroy our household.
 
:damn:

When he marries the girl with no friends he'll be *****ing about her being boring and having no interests. If she's charismatic and likeable I would think that a good thing, no? Not with contrarian abdis. They want a perfect girl and to pay zero in mehr.

I'm sure she'll find a better husband, no loss for her. :mjpls:
The greatest destroyers of marriages after the mother in laws are the wife's friends.

The strong conscious women can stand up to both easily and dictate the whole thing, but the weak ones will fall face first into those traps and no matter how strong the husband is, he is simply powerless to do anything about it as she burns the whole house down.

The record divorce rates speak for themselves. You can essentially classify a human into 3 distinct categories

1) The consciously awake (very few in number)
2) The sheep ( the fast majority)
3) The consciously dead. (sizeable number)

Since the majority are sheep, that's the one a man is more likely to end up with, now providing he fits the first category himself, he has his work cutout for him, he will have to try to elevate her to the same position as himself which is a gruesome tiresome long process, but it has to be done otherwise that sheep may end up throwing herself of that bridge or set the whole house on fire.

The thing about a sheep is that the herder dictates, that herder is either the husband or it's someone else that's taking the sheep to the wolf's (her mum/friends/society/state or some poisonous -ism etc)

Now I class you as a sheep, so yes if I am unfortunate enough to end up with you, all that poison has to go, you will only graze in organic green pastures and keep being closely herded this way until you make that transformation into a conscious being.
 

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