Do Western women gain from divorce? 🤔

[Angelina]

I don't blame all these men in their late 20s and in their 30s who stay single if they are a financial catch. You suddenly get all this attention when no one looked at you in your early and mid 20s. So many people I know told me this happens to them on a constant basis and that the same people they grew up with or are their age group suddenly wants them. They are after your money. They are not after your personality. They dont like you. These men must absolutely protect themselves from divorce. Marriage is not taken seriously anymore.

I’m sorry, but it’s the nature of a woman to want a financial stable man. Women get pregnant, breastfeed and the list goes on. They are also the primary caregivers of children. So, what do you expect? Women to turn off their biological need to be looked after which makes complete sense so that men like you don’t believe that women are only after the money which isn’t the case at all?

The way those men can protect themselves is by marrying their class, which is how upper middle class families have married for centuries and have formed generational wealth.

 

[Odious Delirium]

That puts women in a catch 22:

1. A man my not reach his potential. Some people are no all talk and no actions and if things do go wrong, as a society male and female we will look at the wife and see her as naive.

2. Many men in their struggle years, are not able to attract the type of women they want/desire. The loyalty of women isn’t enough for many to ward of that desire which is why we hear cases of men leaving their ‘struggle wife’ and going for one that is to their real standards and tastes.

3. I think the best outcome is for men to marry within their class and that is how richer men have always married. Most upper middle class men are married to women from upper middle class women who’ve always lived comfortable lives. Rich men marry the daughters of rich men ect. Those men aren’t impressed by wealth and usually share the same class values and are of the same circle.

1)It doesn't matter if he doesn't the fact he gets married is more likely to make him reach it then if he doesn't and if women don't go for that then in general that would mean ther are less guys overall who made it because behind every success man is a woman so less guys who have made it overall anyways and less suitors in general.

2)that equivalent to the men crying about rich guys getting finessed in divorce both are rarities and this is just the women's version. This is the fear mongering I'm talking about that hold the whole community back.
Plus if he's already made the fear mongering already exists that he may get multiple wives anyways due to the amount of resources he has yet you don't see women making that argument to discourage other women from marrying rich guys or guys who have already made it.

3)the issue with this point isn't about the men sticking to class or not. it's the women they are the ones who want to marry up in comparison to men. The whole point I was making was this that women want a guy who is already made despite the fact that they maybe broke themselves and so they hold out on there own perceived potential instead of starting early and building together which keeps the whole community broke. Your only taking into account the richer men but we are talking about the somali community here the vast majority of us in the west ain't upper class and most are on the same level so really this isn't a valid point since we are all around each others level for the most part.

 

[TekNiKo]

I don't blame all these men in their late 20s and in their 30s who stay single if they are a financial catch. You suddenly get all this attention when no one looked at you in your early and mid 20s. So many people I know told me this happens to them on a constant basis and that the same people they grew up with or are their age group suddenly wants them. They are after your money. They are not after your personality. They dont like you. These men must absolutely protect themselves from divorce. Marriage is not taken seriously anymore. Why marry someone who didn't grow with you and stayed at the finish line? Absolutely nuts.

Women see men as expendable commodities they only value you when your high value. If you are low value they will treat you as if your invisible. Im glad alot men are waking up.

 

[Angelina]

1)It doesn't matter if he doesn't thr fact he gets married is more likely to make him reach it then if he doesn't and if women don't go for that then in general that would mean ther are less guys overall who made it because behind every success man is a woman so less guys who have made it overall anyways and less suitors in general.

2)that equivalent to the men crying about rich guys getting finessed in divorce both are rarities and this is just the women's version. This is the fear mongering I'm talking about that hold the whole community back.
Plus if he's already made the fear mongering already exists that he may get multiple wives anyways due to the amount of resources he has yet you don't see women making that argument to discourage other women from marrying rich guys or guys who have already made it.

3)the issue with this point isn't about the men sticking to class or not. it's the women they are the ones who want to marry up in comparison to men. The whole point I was making was this that women want a guy who is already made despite the fact that they maybe broke themselves and so they hold out on there own perceived potential instead of starting early and building together which keeps the whole community broke. Your only taking into account the richer men but we are talking about the somali community here the vast majority of us in the west ain't upper class and most are on the same level so really this isn't a valid point since we are all around each others level for the most part.

The last part isn’t true strangely enough. Data shows that women on average are married to men who are the same as them or men who are of the same social standing of that of their father.

You’ve said it yourself, most Somalis are working class and or middle class, and every week we have a wedding going on? We’re marrying each other and women are marrying their counterparts, so I find the male calaacal about women’s hypergamy on average to be hilarious. Real life anecdotes as well as data doesn’t support this.


The hypergamy argument has been blown out of proportion by redpillers and pinkpillers as well ( they are basically women who encourage women to only marry rich men). Most educated men marry educated women, most rich men, marry women within their vicinity who are of a certain class. Also, most poor women settle and marry their poor male counterparts.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

I’m sorry, but it’s the nature of a woman to want a financial stable man. Women get pregnant, breastfeed and the list goes on. They are also the primary caregivers of children. So, what do you expect? Women to turn off their biological need to be looked after which makes complete sense so that men like you don’t believe that women are only after the money which isn’t the case at all?

And it's in a man's nature to be loved and cared for at their lowest, not because of their money. No one has money in their early and mid 20s which is when people would got married in the past. My parents got married at 18 and my dad had not a penny to his name and now in his mid 60s hes got more money than he knows what to do with and always giving it away. Everything comes with age.

You can pick a man by looking at his future prospects if they are in a degree, or going to trade school, or if they are in a company making $40K a year in their early 20s. You make more money as you get older. That's the path of life.

 

[R1ALIST]

When i look around in my community i see two groups, One is the women who til today is married to the same man, most this women are well respected they dont create buuq in the community and are very god fearing most times they produce very succesful ciyaals.

The other group is the women and men who have been married and divorced 3+ times, dysfunctional home and even more dysfunctional kids, they are busy gossiping, stealing gov funds and have 0 care about where their kids are heading.

Just like the brother said before its generational trauma the second group are feeding of each other and will not be able to attract a person from group 1 who is well raised.

 

[Angelina]

And it's in a man's nature to be loved and cared for at their lowest, not because of their money.

Children need to be fed and clothed. What are they going to live on? A fathers need to be loved?! What’s more important the need to be loved or the survival of children and women at their most vulnerable?

No one has money in their early and mid 20s which is when people would got married in the past. My parents got married at 18 and my dad had not a penny to his name and now in his mid 60s hes got more money than he knows what to do with. Everything comes with age.

Your father was probably still working and your mother was caring for the house. It wasn’t a case of a woman providing and doing all the house care without a man looking after her. So let’s not. It’s the same for my parents, but my father still did his best and made sure my mother was provided for to what my dad can afford. They had a traditional relationship. Also, the cost of living in the past was a lot lower. Men in their 20s in the past were also a lot more well off than men now. So you’re comparing apples and oranges. In fact in our parents and grandparents generation, the idea of a working woman wasn’t a common thing, men were expected to figure it out and make sure to put a roof and food on the table!

You can pick a man by looking at his future prospects if they are in a degree, or going to trade school, or if they are in a company making $40K a year in their early 20s. You make more money as you get older. That's the path of life.

Yep, that I agree with. And that is the case for most women. Most women in the West actually contribute financially, but the biggest killers of a relationship is that a lot of men do not contribute with regards to the household labor and childcare. If women are expected to help, they too deserve help and sacrifices as well, but many studies, statistics and even prominent divorce lawyers have noticed that isn’t the case at all.

 

[Odious Delirium]

@Angelina We as a community are at the stage of the Indians when they first came to the west. they all where poor and married each other without all this fear mongering that both sides love peddling.

over in our community every last girl is preferably and primarily looking for a farax who has already made it for the most part.

So when a farax who was building himself up and got no attention along with rejections suddenly gets attention from those same halimos when he's finally made it on his own...

This will most definitely leave him jaded and because the only thing that has changed about him is the amount of money he has he will think if they only want him now that he's up then the only reason they want him is for his money.

So these guys end up staying single out of spite keeping the community as a whole poor.

All guys want a woman by there side as they build up same way all girls want a guy that can give them provision and security but that can still be done at lower/basic incomes building up with some struggle. the problem is women don't want that despite there own upbringing in our community being in those same conditions they want to jump straight away to the top but if the majority have that mentality it leads to our current state as a community which is poor.

 

[Angelina]

@Angelina We as a community are at the stage of the Indians when they first came to the west.

Nope we’re not at all. Many of us have been in the West for more 40 years now. Us lot on this forum were born and raised in the West and have had all the opportunities that have came with it. I will not compare myself to my abos generation who struggled and did everything to make it.

they all where poor and married each other without all this fear mongering that both sides love peddling.

over in our community every last girl is preferably and primarily looking for a farax who has already made it for the most part.

So when a farax who was building himself up and got no attention along with rejections suddenly gets attention from those same halimos when he's finally made it on his own...

Not true. If that was the case Uber driver Faraxs and Faraxs working in security would have found it hard to marry and that isn’t the case. So, I think we should stop with the unfounded claim. Every week you have average Abdis marrying.

The ones who do want Faraxs making a decent amount are usually in a good position as well and that is normal. Look at stats. In most communities, most professionals are married to get each other. Using the Indian community is a bit of a joke as they’re a lot more classist and elitist than we are. An Indian female doctor wouldn’t marry an Indian taxi driver. Their parents are a lot more involved in the choosing process as well.

This will most definitely leave him jaded and because the only thing that has changed about him is the amount of money he has he will think if they only want him now that he's up then the only reason they want him is for his money.

Nope, that’s an incredibly feminine outlook. Throughout history men married when they were able to put food on the table and a roof over a woman’s head. The pressure was higher as in those days new age concepts of 50/50 didn’t exist. Now you have young men feeling jaded. What a time to be alive.

So these guys end up staying single out of spite keeping the community as a whole poor.

All guys want a woman by there side as they build up same way all girls want a guy that can give them provision and security but that can still be done at lower/basic incomes with some struggle the problem is women don't want that despite there own upbringing in our community being in those same conditions they want to jump straight away to the top but if the majority have that mentality it leads to our current state as a community which is poor.

You can’t expect a woman who has already built herself up to want that as in that situation she will end up being the breadwinner and the man so to speak whilst also having to be feminine and give birth ect. Low income Abdis get married all the time and tend to marry within their economic bracket. Most Somali girls want a guy earning a similar amount to them and they have that right. Wallahi you can’t expect a woman to be vulnerable and birth your babies whilst being too scared about the rent payment. Even our mothers generation who were mostly housewives albeit in modest surroundings didn’t have that worry.

 

[Odious Delirium]

The last part isn’t true strangely enough. Data shows that women on average are married to men who are the same as them or men who are of the same social standing of that of their father.

You’ve said it yourself, most Somalis are working class and or middle class, and every week we have a wedding going on? We’re marrying each other and women are marrying their counterparts, so I find the male calaacal about women’s hypergamy on average to be hilarious. Real life anecdotes as well as data doesn’t support this.


The hypergamy argument has been blown out of proportion by redpillers and pinkpillers as well ( they are basically women who encourage women to only marry rich men). Most educated men marry educated women, most rich men, marry women within their vicinity who are of a certain class. Also, most poor women settle and marry their poor male counterparts.

The data you use doesn't apply to somalis tho.

you guys complain about somali men going back home marrying less fortunate women all the time but that's besides the point I agree to a degree. I never really stated that women don't end up in there actual brackets. For example most people meet each other in the settings there generally in for example uni and get married like that.

Many women eventually settle regardless of what there standards orginally where. that doesn't mean they settled straight away and don't express what they want no matter how unrealistic it is to there circumstances.

This discourse between redpills and the women is a constant back and forth that exists because women uphold these standards they have until they realise its unrealistic and then settle eventually settle but not without jading a bunch of guys in the process before settling for a simliar if not at times lower level guy.

It doesn't mean that they all don't primarily wish to marry a billionaire. Who doesn't.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

I don't blame all these men in their late 20s and in their 30s who stay single if they are a financial catch. You suddenly get all this attention when no one looked at you in your early and mid 20s. So many people I know told me this happens to them on a constant basis and that the same people they grew up with or are their age group suddenly wants them. They are after your money. They are not after your personality. They dont like you. These men must absolutely protect themselves from divorce. Marriage is not taken seriously anymore. Why marry someone who didn't grow with you and stayed at the finish line? Absolutely nuts.

These types of men never bothered to learn about women and how to get them tbh. If you’re not desirable/attractive as a person then money isn’t going to change anything and you should be able to get attention from women while you’re broke. Otherwise something is wrong and you need to fix it.

But tbh some people are just too unattractive for that to the point it’s out of their control. Using money to get attention is the best they can do unless they’re willing to drop their standards and wife a fellow ugly woman. Which is easier said than done lol ugly women aren’t a readily available commodity.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Nope, that’s an incredibly feminine outlook. Throughout history men married when they were able to put food on the table and a roof over a woman’s head. The pressure was higher as in those days new age concepts of 50/50 didn’t exist. Now you have young men feeling jaded. What a time to be alive.

I'm explaining the perspective they are coming from you can choose to view it however you wish but that's why those guys hold out.

And I did state that is about men who could put food on the table and a roof over a woman's head they just weren't high income yet which is when they start to get attention.

You can’t expect a woman who has already built herself up to want that as in that situation she will end up being the breadwinner and the man so to speak whilst also having to be feminine and give birth ect.

That wasn't the point this was about building up together not a woman who is already made looking to build a farax but a farax in uni or just graduated with a job marrying a halimo in the same situation or bellow.

Wallahi you can’t expect a woman to be vulnerable and birth your babies whilst being too scared about the rent payment. Even our mothers generation who were mostly housewives albeit in modest surroundings didn’t have that worry.

Being with a guy when he's building up isn't about literally building up a bum with nothing who can't provide basic accommodation and provision

I wouldn't advice anyone to do that. That's just dumb I'm talking about a guy who is just not at his full potential but can fulfil his duties as a husband.

 

[Angelina]

The data you use doesn't apply to somalis tho.

you guys complain about somali men going back home marrying less fortunate women all the time

Nope, I’ve always said I’ve been attacked on here for it but the ones who do that are the odeys and the Uber drivers and security men. Who want second wives. Professional Abdis are overwhelming married to their female counterparts, but I’m going off on anecdotes.

but that's besides the point I agree to a degree. I never really stated that women don't end up in there actual brackets. For example most people meet each other in the settings there generally in for example uni and get married like that.

Many women eventually settle regardless of what there standards orginally where. that doesn't mean they settled straight away and don't express what they want no matter how unrealistic it is to there circumstances.

How do you know women’s standards? Very rarely have I seen a woman say she wants a millionaire or that he needs to be making 100k. All the Somali girls I know want men who have what they have which is education, a professional job and the like, yet according to some posters here that Is high standards, bisinka.

This discourse between redpills and the women is a constant back and forth that exists because women uphold these standards they have until they realise its unrealistic and then settle eventually settle but not without jading a bunch of guys in the process before settling for a simliar if not at times lower level guy.

It doesn't mean that they all don't primarily wish to marry a billionaire. Who doesn't.

I’ve never met a woman unless joking say she wants a billionaire. That is in the realm of fantasies for us. Women aren’t dumb.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

I'm explaining the perspective they are coming from you can choose to view it however you wish but that's why those guys hold out.

And I did state that is about men who could put food on the table and a roof over a woman's head they just weren't high income yet which is when they start to get attention.


That wasn't the point this was about building up together not a woman who is already made looking to build a farax but a farax in uni or just graduated with a job marrying a halimo in the same situation or bellow.



Being with a guy when he's building up isn't about literally building up a bum with nothing who can't provide basic accommodation and provision

I wouldn't advice anyone to do that. That's just dumb I'm talking about a guy who is just not at his full potential but can fulfil his duties as a husband.

Look let’s allow the bullshit debate. This is a non issue. Most women aren’t golddiggers and are usually the ones who complain about overspending. It’s just that clapped niggas have to pay that uggo tax is all

 

[Odious Delirium]

Nope, I’ve always said I’ve been attacked on here for it but the ones who do that are the odeys and the Uber drivers and security men. Who want second wives. Professional Abdis are overwhelming married to their female counterparts, but I’m going off on anecdotes.

How do you know women’s standards? Very rarely have I seen a woman say she wants a millionaire or that he needs to be making 100k. All the Somali girls I know want men who have what they have which is education, a professional job and the like, yet according to some posters here that Is high standards, bisinka.


I’ve never met a woman unless joking say she wants a billionaire. That is in the realm of fantasies for us. Women aren’t dumb.

Lol don't worry about it this whole discourse is mainly an issue only for the incel/ugly types I'm just saying there talking points.
I personally dont see these issue.
I don't know why I'm engaging on their behalf. it's just massive generalisations that I dont really stand by based on my own anecdotal experiences with the women I have spoken to even the stuff I have said about the women back home is a generalisation to an extent.
especially if you know how to deal with them which in my experience wouldn’t be an issue for me personally but I can’t talk for every abdi especially those that want to marry back home because they think halimos in the west are evil

I really need to stop playing the devil's advocate all the time it's a bad habit of mine and I end up going too deep in these random debates/discussions for no reason when it ain't even my fight to fight

 

[Leila]

Nope we’re not at all. Many of us have been in the West for more 40 years now. Us lot on this forum were born and raised in the West and have had all the opportunities that have came with it. I will not compare myself to my abos generation who struggled and did everything to make it.

Not true. If that was the case Uber driver Faraxs and Faraxs working in security would have found it hard to marry and that isn’t the case. So, I think we should stop with the unfounded claim. Every week you have average Abdis marrying.

The ones who do want Faraxs making a decent amount are usually in a good position as well and that is normal. Look at stats. In most communities, most professionals are married to get each other. Using the Indian community is a bit of a joke as they’re a lot more classist and elitist than we are. An Indian female doctor wouldn’t marry an Indian taxi driver. Their parents are a lot more involved in the choosing process as well.

Nope, that’s an incredibly feminine outlook. Throughout history men married when they were able to put food on the table and a roof over a woman’s head. The pressure was higher as in those days new age concepts of 50/50 didn’t exist. Now you have young men feeling jaded. What a time to be alive.

You can’t expect a woman who has already built herself up to want that as in that situation she will end up being the breadwinner and the man so to speak whilst also having to be feminine and give birth ect. Low income Abdis get married all the time and tend to marry within their economic bracket. Most Somali girls want a guy earning a similar amount to them and they have that right. Wallahi you can’t expect a woman to be vulnerable and birth your babies whilst being too scared about the rent payment. Even our mothers generation who were mostly housewives albeit in modest surroundings didn’t have that worry.

Yep you are 100% right, some of my male cousins in UK work as taxi drivers, Uber, warehouse etc. None have had problems getting married to Somali girls, sometimes the girls are more educated and have better paying jobs and they have no problem marrying men that work ‘menial jobs’. One of my friends is an Accountant and her husband works at the airport as a baggage handler.

There’s no way an Arab or Indian family would allow their daughter to get married to men that wouldn’t be able to to buy a house and have a big wedding at the minimum. Somali families are much less strict regarding that, they would be glad if their child marries a fellow Somali.

 

[...j]

Misrepresentative title

 

[Angelina]

Yep you are 100% right, some of my male cousins in UK work as taxi drivers, Uber, warehouse etc. None have had problems getting married to Somali girls, sometimes the girls are more educated and have better paying jobs and they have no problem marrying men that work ‘menial jobs’. One of my friends is an Accountant and her husband works at the airport as a baggage handler.

There’s no way an Arab or Indian family would allow their daughter to get married to men that wouldn’t be able to to buy a house and have a big wedding at the minimum. Somali families are much less strict regarding that, they would be glad if their child marries a fellow Somali.

Honestly, what I’m saying might be controversial and it isn’t nice. I don’t necessarily agree with elitism but we can’t deny what it has done for their community. Men are mostly motivated by their ability to get a partner. If Somali parents were cut throat about a future son in-laws earning potential or professionalism, I wager a lot of Somali guys would be forced to do better as parents would enforce the same standards they have for future son-laws on to their sons as well as they’d know how high other Somali families standards are and how difficult it would be for them to get certain types of wives. Raising collective standards changes communities.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Honestly, what I’m saying might be controversial and it isn’t nice. I don’t necessarily agree with elitism but we can’t deny what it has done for their community. Men are mostly motivated by their ability to get a partner. If Somali parents were cut throat about a future son in-laws earning potential or professionalism, I wager a lot of Somali guys would be forced to do better as parents would enforce the same standards they have for future son-laws on to their sons as well as they’d know how high other Somali families standards are and how difficult it would be for them to get certain types of wives. Raising collective standards changes communities.

For some reason it says you quoted my post again. Same issue as last time I'm getting notified that your quoting me but your not

 

[Waa dhamatay]

Lol don't worry about it this whole discourse is mainly an issue only for the incel/ugly types I'm just saying there talking points.
I personally dont see these issue.
I don't know why I'm engaging on their behalf. it's just massive generalisations that I dont really stand by based on my own anecdotal experiences with the women I have spoken to even the stuff I have said about the women back home is a generalisation to an extent.
especially if you know how to deal with them which in my experience wouldn’t be an issue for me personally but I can’t talk for every abdi especially those that want to marry back home because they think halimos in the west are evil

I really need to stop playing the devil's advocate all the time it's a bad habit of mine and I end up going too deep in these random debates/discussions for no reason when it ain't even my fight to fight

Inklers like me have to pay 50k