Do Western women gain from divorce? 🤔

[SOULSEARCHING]

Depends if her ex was rich.

I work with one lady in her early 30s and her ex pays her child support.
This lady every week is always buying her 2 year old daughter new clothes, not cheap clothes. Jackets and shoes and pants ranging from $100 to $300.

I learned shes getting support to Pay her bills from the goverment too.

 

[Angelina]

I believe in the uk your marriage even if you don't go about it officially through the government as long as your married through religion or even just long term partners your still judged as if your a legal couple. I could be wrong tho so the same rules apply.

I don’t understand, most Somalis aren’t home owners, especially the ones in the UK. The ones that are in my family are professionals and the house belongs to both as they both pay into it. It’s virtually near impossible for a man in the UK to buy a house alone unless he’s making 100k after tax. Hence, knowing this why do working class Muslim men talk as though they have assets? Women now too in the Somali and wider Muslim community work as well and ironically, the same men that talk about not recording marriage have issues with Muslim women having careers.

 

[Angelina]

Women may not necessarily gain a lot from the man himself unless he is a top earner but they do gain things in comparison to men out of the divorce externally through government assistance.
Women are in general prioritised which is why there is for example a 70 to 30 split between the levels of homelessness between men and women in the west.

Isn’t that to do with the fact that women tend to have custody of children? Why wouldn’t the government prioritize children over a grown man?

Also, what does that have to do with divorce when statistically when a couple split, it’s women who end up in worse position than their ex husband? Bringing up differences between men and women on average with regards to homelessness is irreverent as we’re talking about purely In the context of divorce.

And If she's struggling with a broke man and I have heard this argument countless times before she might aswell struggle alone with government assistance.

This is irrelevant to the context of the somali people tho

Again, which I need to repeat, on average women end up poorer than their ex-husbands. So it doesn’t make sense for you to state that they gain more in divorce than a marriage.

Also, it’s very relevent to the Somali community and young Muslim men in general. Actual Dua men are using redpill arguments against Muslim communities in which our women end up struggling and poorer in divorce with our men not having much assets or savings.

 

[Juliet]

I don't know any young western muslim woman that is dumb enough to believe the "let's just do an islamic marriage" trap

GET. IT. LEGALISED.

It should be conisdered a big red flag if he seems to avoid getting a legal marriage alongside the islamic one

 

[Angelina]

I don't know any young western muslim woman that is dumb enough to believe the "let's just do an islamic marriage" trap

GET. IT. LEGALISED.

It should be conisdered a big red flag if he seems to avoid getting a legal marriage alongside the islamic one

Seriously, I’d want one because of protection for inheritance laws, pension laws, tax breaks and the likes, in fact very reason I’d want one benefits men as well. I can’t see any other major reason or benefit apart from the ones I’ve mentioned for women when you’re marrying an average man, even a professional one. Men who say stuff like that should be avoided as they’re just dumb and are the type to typecast women as being out to get them despite being cash poor with hardly any asset. No woman needs a delusional man.

 

[Mozart]

In what way would it be a fool’s game when men and women with higher earning potential, education and sorry to put it out there higher IQ have much lower divorce rates? Also, how do Muslim women go about when the younger generations of women mostly work with professional aspirations of their own?

Divorce rates for educated individuals is still 30%. Almost 90% of which is initiated by women.

Signing a legal marriage contract is only right if she works throughout the entirety of the marriage.

 

[Juliet]

Seriously, I’d want one because of protection for inheritance laws, tax breaks and the likes, but I can’t see any other major reason or benefit for women when you’re marrying an average man, even a professional one. Men who say stuff like that should be avoided as they’re just dumb and are the type to typecast women as being out to get them despite being cash poor with hardly any asset. No woman needs a delusional man.

1. Its a safety net

2. It gives you a glimpse of his true, xaasid colours - especially as you said, if he seems well off.

 

[Odious Delirium]

I don’t understand, most Somalis aren’t home owners, especially the ones in the UK. The ones that are in my family are professionals and the house belongs to both as they both pay into it. It’s virtually near impossible for a man in the UK to buy a house alone unless he’s making 100k after tax. Hence, knowing this why do working class Muslim men talk as though they have assets? Women now too in the Somali and wider Muslim community work as well and ironically, the same men that talk about not recording marriage have issues with Muslim women having careers.

I think the issue is that women although now being in a position to have good careers still place the same standards if not higher on men in the Islamic context which frustrates many guys to just talk about all these things but if you noticed it's unmarried men complaining because there not being given a chance.

Examples are that despite everyone one knowing that working as a team and pooling together and building up together creates things like generational wealth both the men and women don't see this and want different things although it would affect that very outcome. Eg women demanding high mahr and not willing to build or go though a struggle with a man but want him to already have made it or men wanting them to be house wives living on a single income and marrying multiple women spliting his resources.

Both technically aren't issues islamically or just in general but it's definitely what's keeping and holding back the community to basically stay in poverty and its why so many people are poor and unmarried in Muslim communities in general and also leads to the fast divorces since no one wants to work through it together.

Look at the Indian gaal and Chinese communities they came to the country poor but partnered up even tho they where poor and built up together as couples. Now there the richest in both the US and the UK. There was no rinse his pockets mentality or I'm a lone wolf I would rather do it alone then as a team because I don't wanna be hurt.

basically for some reason Muslims have adopted the qashin aspects of gaal culture and have incorporated it into Islam making this weird deadlock many people seem to be in on both sides. Everyone want have there cake and eat it but that just results in no one getting anything.

This is me generalising tho and not every individual is like this but you get what I'm talking about. This is the general sentiment across the muslim community.

 

[Angelina]

Most Somali women from my observations want a guy to provide whilst they don’t work. Even if they are degree level educated. Divorce rates for educated individuals is still 30%. Almost 90% of which is initiated by women.

I don’t know any Somali girl of my generation and even more younger who doesn’t work post marriage. Mozart, you’re in the UK and even your earning potential is capped unless you start your own business or lucky enough to work for those American firms/company. A man that is on £100k in the UK is literally only taking home £5500-6000 due to taxes and even that isn’t a lot. Furthermore, most Somalis I know on the property ladder are Somali professionals who have bought the house together as the idea of a man buying a house alone whilst the wife sits at home is incredibly and I mean incredibly difficult.

Stay at home wives, tend to be one that do rely on government help and the house is usually subsidized by the government. If such a woman was to file for divorce, what would she get? The man has no assets and is if living in a big city in the UK cash poor.

Signing a legal marriage contract is only right if she works throughout the entirety of the marriage.

Signing a legal marriage contract is only right if she works throughout the entirety of the marriage.

You’re shooting yourself in the leg as there are many benefits like medical and death benefits, employment benefits, inheritance laws, and tax breaks regarding that. Stuff like that becomes apparent when you’re older, I’ve seen many gaal couples who never believed in marriage and have kids with each other get married as a Middle Aged couple for that reason.

 

[Odious Delirium]

I advice all men to get married/look for a wife during there struggle/come up and not to wait until they have "made it" you won't have any of these fears of if she likes you for your money or if she's gonna back stab you with a divorce etc non of this fear mongering will do you any good. Get a woman who's willing to believe in your potential.

If she stuck by you or liked you at your lowest then she definitely won't have an issue with you at your highest.

(Just at least have a job doesn’t matter what salary your on and a place to accommodate her and your good)

 

[Angelina]

I think the issue is that women although now being in a position to have good careers still place the same standards if not higher on men in the Islamic context which frustrates many guys to just talk about all these things but if you noticed it's unmarried men complaining because there not being given a chance.

But I have issues with that point and I’ll tell you why. The same women with good careers are still expected to do the overwhelming bulk of the household and child labour. Hence, I don’t understand why Muslim men get triggered when they still have traditional notions of motherhood and household chores. How does that work? So a woman will reduce her financial expectations, but would still do the most that is expected of a traditional woman? Are Muslim men reducing their view that women should do most of the cooking and cleaning? How do they feel about 50/50 relationships? Can they afford for the wife In the West to fully stay home? If she agrees and he can support her, what is in place for her if he dies or they get a divorce to stop her from falling into poverty since she’s spending her money making years at home looking after a home that she technically has no right over?

Examples are that despite everyone one knowing that working as a team and pooling together and building up together creates things like generational wealth both the men and women don't see this and want different things although it would affect that very outcome. Eg women demanding high mahr and not willing to build or go though a struggle with a man but want him to already have made it or men wanting them to be house wives living on a single income and marrying multiple women spliting his resources.

Both technically aren't issues islamically or just in general but it's definitely what's keeping and holding back the community to basically stay in poverty and its why so many people are poor and unmarried in Muslim communities in general and also leads to the fast divorces since no one wants to work through it together.

Look at the Indian gaal and Chinese communities they came to the country poor but partnered up even tho they where poor and built up together as couples. Now there the richest in both the US and the UK. There was no rinse his pockets mentality or I'm a lone wolf I would rather do it alone then as a team because I don't wanna be hurt.

basically for some reason Muslims have adopted the qashin aspects of gaal culture and have incorporated it into Islam making this weird deadlock many people seem to be in on both sides. Everyone want have there cake and eat it but that just results in no one getting anything.

This is me generalising tho and not every individual is like this but you get what I'm talking about. This is the general sentiment across the muslim community.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

In Canada, you gain alot as a divorced woman, including if you're low income.
Automatic primary custody unless you're violent/drug addict, automatic guri dowlad, hundreds a month in child care benefits (tax free), thousands a month in cayr (tax free), alimony and child support (still in the hundreds even if the man is minimum wage). They actually end up doing way better than middle class families financially. All that lacag is not considered to be income so their income is 0 and they can benefit from other benefits due to that. If divorce wasn't so financially lucrative, one wouldn't divorce unless for very serious reasons.

 

[TekNiKo]

Would you rather the children lived on the street? Like I mentioned divorced people are much more likely to be poorer with lower home ownership. The women end up even poorer than the husband.

Yep, but how does that disadvantage a man in terms of a marriage and divorce? How are women gaining from their husbands? Doesn’t go against the overwhelming narrative that upon divorce women get high child support and alimony and that men suffer more?

Because govt is playing daddy and usurping Papa role. Why would a woman listen to her husband when she can kick him out and claim single mother for benefits. Ever heard the term “bac madow irida loo dhigay”. Its a nightmare for thise aabos. In Canada a single child benefit is upwards to 750 dollars now if she has 6 kids thats 4500 a month. Who needs a man?

 

[Waa dhamatay]

I advice all men to get married/look for a wife during there struggle/come up and not to wait until they have "made it" you won't have any of these fears of if she likes you for your money or if she's gonna back stab you with a divorce etc non of this fear mongering will do you any good. Get a woman who's willing to believe in your potential.

If she stuck by you or liked you at your lowest then she definitely won't have an issue with you at your highest.

(Just at least have a job doesn’t matter what salary your on and a place to accommodate her and your good)

Also you won’t be bitter or awkward due to living through your 20s as a virgin

 

[TekNiKo]

In Canada, you gain alot as a divorced woman, including if you're low income.
Automatic primary custody unless you're violent/drug addict, automatic guri dowlad, hundreds a month in child care benefits (tax free), thousands a month in cayr (tax free), alimony and child support (still in the hundreds even if the man is minimum wage). They actually end up doing way better than middle class families financially. All that lacag is not considered to be income so their income is 0 and they can benefit from other benefits due to that. If divorce wasn't so financially lucrative, one wouldn't divorce unless for very serious reasons.

Lol tell them! Poor Aabos struggling in Uber or Taxi job while their divorced wives are driving brand new Lexus R8 limited edition!

The father doesnt get a single cent from child benefit unless hes a widower

 

[Angelina]

I advice all men to get married/look for a wife during there struggle/come up and not to wait until they have "made it" you won't have any of these fears of if she likes you for your money or if she's gonna back stab you with a divorce etc non of this fear mongering will do you any good. Get a woman who's willing to believe in your potential.

If she stuck by you or liked you at your lowest then she definitely won't have an issue with you at your highest.

(Just at least have a job doesn’t matter what salary your on and a place to accommodate her and your good)

That puts women in a catch 22:

1. A man my not reach his potential. Some people are no all talk and no actions and if things do go wrong, as a society male and female we will look at the wife and see her as naive.

2. Many men in their struggle years, are not able to attract the type of women they want/desire. The loyalty of women isn’t enough for many to ward of that desire which is why we hear cases of men leaving their ‘struggle wife’ and going for one that is to their real standards and tastes.

3. I think the best outcome is for men to marry within their class and that is how richer men have always married. Most upper middle class men are married to women from upper middle class women who’ve always lived comfortable lives. Rich men marry the daughters of rich men ect. Those men aren’t impressed by wealth and usually share the same class values and are of the same circle.

 

[Angelina]

Lol tell them! Poor Aabos struggling in Uber or Taxi job while their divorced wives are driving brand new Lexus R8 limited edition!

The father doesnt get a single cent from child benefit unless hes a widower

@AbdiFreedom

That doesn’t make sense as they’re not gaining anything from the ‘man’. They could easily get all of that and not record their marriage and hoodwink the government into thinking they’re a single mothers whilst having their man bring more back money from his job and having companionship.

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[Angelina]

Because govt is playing daddy and usurping Papa role. Why would a woman listen to her husband when she can kick him out and claim single mother for benefits.

You can make that argument about working women who have their own income? Men are no longer the sole providers.

Also, it makes more financial sense for a woman to act single which a lot of Somali women did in the 90s to get cheap housing, benefits ect and have their husbands come home every night to share a part of their salary. That makes more financial sense for a woman.

Also, statistically poor men divorce more. Women don’t divorce men who are providing as much and that is fact. Men who are home owners and are educated along with women are less likely to divorce.

Ever heard the term “bac madow irida loo dhigay”. Its a nightmare for thise aabos. In Canada a single child benefit is upwards to 750 dollars now if she has 6 kids thats 4500 a month. Who needs a man?

Us women who work and have savings ect don’t need a man for finances as well, but we wouldn’t kick out a man we love and treats us well.

Many of those abos weren’t providers and it fits into the statistics that poor men that don’t have much to offer being more likely to be divorced. Your points would make sense if it was men with means being treated this way.

Also, why would women kick out men for no reason? Do women not have the same emotional, sexual needs, companionship needs and wouldn’t they want a father figure for their child?

 

[Odious Delirium]

But I have issues with that point and I’ll tell you why. The same women with good careers are still expected to do the overwhelming bulk of the household and child labour. Hence, I don’t understand why Muslim men get triggered when they still have traditional notions of motherhood and household chores. How does that work? So a woman will reduce her financial expectations, but would still do the most that is expected of a traditional woman? Are Muslim men reducing their view that women should do most of the cooking and cleaning? How do they feel about 50/50 relationships? Can they afford for the wife In the West to fully stay home? If she agrees and he can support her, what is in place for her if he dies or they get a divorce to stop her from falling into poverty since she’s spending her money making years at home looking after a home that she technically has no right over?

The thing is the traditional Islamic expectations still exist for example the man takes care of the vast amount of the expense if not all and the woman contributes and invests when needed.

They can have an agreement as a couple based on what the woman is doing and decide to split the work load in the house between each other but women wont even consider these options for the most part unless he’s already made it because otherwise it would be "beneath them".
In the end the woman if she gets pregnant may retire entirely anyways but the point is building up initially is better then just waiting for a guy to be ready made.

And if we are talking about the Chinese and Indians well yes that's exactly what happened and they got up that way (not saying it has to be that way) but this fear mongering from the women's side is the reason there not married or want an already made man which is a rarity. Only 2% of people men and women make above 100k in the uk but that can easily be made on two incomes but most women would rather struggle alone then with a man because just like these red pill guys that have all these terrible notions about marriage the women also have there own share of terrible notions about men and marriage like the redpill muslim guys.

The women are no better and the fear mongering stories the women tell each other are just as rare as the ones your clowning these men on when it comes to marriage.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Lol tell them! Poor Aabos struggling in Uber or Taxi job while their divorced wives are driving brand new Lexus R8 limited edition!

The father doesnt get a single cent from child benefit unless hes a widower

I don't blame all these men in their late 20s and in their 30s who stay single if they are a financial catch. You suddenly get all this attention when no one looked at you in your early and mid 20s. So many people I know told me this happens to them on a constant basis and that the same people they grew up with or are their age group suddenly wants them. They are after your money. They are not after your personality. They dont like you. These men must absolutely protect themselves from divorce. Marriage is not taken seriously anymore. Why marry someone who didn't grow with you and stayed at the finish line? Absolutely nuts.