And then Somali men (of that type, not out here to generalize) are surprised when we go for other races to escape them. Like, where was the love and respect you supposedly had for your own ethnic women?
do men understand fairness?
- Thread starter Ladylike
- Start date
My advice to women is to make sure you marry a guy with good akhlaq and deen .
Be pleasant take care of the way you look avoid toxic feminism & understand that your husband has authority over you even more than your own father you need to make sure you pick a guy that deserves that authority .
Fyi today the overwhelming majority of divorces are initiated by women .
Be pleasant take care of the way you look avoid toxic feminism & understand that your husband has authority over you even more than your own father you need to make sure you pick a guy that deserves that authority .
Fyi today the overwhelming majority of divorces are initiated by women .
Loooooooool
The hypocrisy is outstanding. Most dad's tell their daughters to be careful of men, yet when we repeat what our fathers say, we're the bad guys.
You'll probably even say it to your own daughters even though your out here arguing.
I pray to Allah he doesn't give me daughters oo calaacal badan, if my daughter can't get behind her man then I have failed as a father, period.
You've failed to even comprehend the post, forget anything else.
My point is that fathers often warn their daughters and do proper background checks of future spouses because they know how men think and that many men can be toxic.
This thread isn't even about women who can't get behind a good man. This is about men who continue to abuse and go against the rights of their wife. Stop derailing.
I'm sure as a father, you'd worry more about who your daughters marry more than your sons? Why? Because you know women are both physically and emotionally weaker and are at the mercy of their spouses more than any sons. You know that a man is much more likely to abuse a woman more than a woman abusing a man.
Last edited:
God I love how mentally ill this forum is lol, these threads serve no purpose other than to inflame tensions and further divide men and women. I hope this place never changes 
I hope Allah never blesses you with a daughter. You’re more likely the kind that would encourage her to go back to her abuser if and when she needs help in which case often times women do.this is exactly why women cope by retreating and acting dumb because their complaints are never heard they are immediately labeled in order to silence them even within their own family.
If anything, I see the reverse. Men weaponizing deen to subjugate women. Also, you are using that hadith in the wrong way. You mean to tell me, if I was a loyal and kind wife to you for 20+ years but I cheat one day, you will overlook that?
There are some wrongdoings you cannot come back from walaal, while others are minor.
Apples and oranges..
I'm not still not sold on the whole women being "net of shaytan" btw. Also, the way macalin said it, we women are in cahoots with shaytan to entrap and led men to hellfire. What was his end goal telling prepubescent children this if not to cause division and gender inequality?
I didn't need to hear that as a scrawny 9 year old, who was wearing jilbab mind you. That comment and setting haunted me for years because I thought I am naturally evil and was ashamed of my womanhood
@Taij4an
Women also act fools when they find a man to be attractive. A good example, the story of Zulekha and Prophet Yusuf. She was a married woman. So why is no one blaming prophet Yusuf for tempting Zulekha? Because women are held accountable for their sexual desires as well as get blamed for for men's. That's why I call cap on what @HiraanBorn said about men being judged harshly in our community. Not in the Muslim somali community. Y'all are more privileged that the average halimo. Understanding this privilege comes with responsibilities is one thing, but if a man is self serving and has not internalize the teachings of Islam, he will abuse this power.
Women also act fools when they find a man to be attractive. A good example, the story of Zulekha and Prophet Yusuf. She was a married woman. So why is no one blaming prophet Yusuf for tempting Zulekha? Because women are held accountable for their sexual desires as well as get blamed for for men's. That's why I call cap on what @HiraanBorn said about men being judged harshly in our community. Not in the Muslim somali community. Y'all are more privileged that the average halimo. Understanding this privilege comes with responsibilities is one thing, but if a man is self serving and has not internalize the teachings of Islam, he will abuse this power.
1.If Yusuf AS commit zina he would have been blamed for committing zina which is why at the end of the verse he says the wrongdoers will never win@Taij4an
Women also act fools when they find a man to be attractive. A good example, the story of Zulekha and Prophet Yusuf. She was a married woman. So why is no one blaming prophet Yusuf for tempting Zulekha? Because women are held accountable for their sexual desires as well as get blamed for for men's. That's why I call cap on what @HiraanBorn said about men being judged harshly in our community. Not in the Muslim somali community. Y'all are more privileged that the average halimo. Understanding this privilege comes with responsibilities is one thing, but if a man is self serving and has not internalize the teachings of Islam, he will abuse this power.
2.It was zulaykhas fault since she was his master he was an orphan slave he had no choice to do anything it was her fault if she was attracted to him she should have sent him somewhere away from her house, Yusuf AS in fact asked Allah to go prison to show how poerless he was in the situation that the only possible escape for him was prison
Btw, I would prefer the community to be more strict on men commiting zina, to have someone be strict on you being modest is a good thing, because it prevents you from sinning
The problem is the hypocrisy when dealing with men and women, women are usually always put to blame even tho when u look at the Quran and sunnah many times men are scolded for doing anything outside of marriage and their is no bias, in fact Men are constantly told in Islam to beware of the fitna of women, but not the opposite way round, so There is a disconnection between Islamic values and the communities values where unnecessary blame is put on a women when a man has the responsibility to control himself
If a Muslim mans Gold standard is to deny committing zina with a women who is beuatiful and of high status out of fear of Allah and being rewarded with being one of the 7 shaded on yawmul qiyama then we have to look at how our communities understand Islam and our practice of it.
I personally believe most of the downfall of the Muslim community is solely due to men, men are the leaders of society, the scholars, the workers, the head of households, therefore when a Muslims man fails to do his responsibility everything else fails along with him and you get the state of our world today. If men fail to abide by religion they ruin it for everyone else.
But at the end of the day I cannot put sole blame on one gender Allah a'lam who is to blame i personally don't think its got to do with gender tbh just with the individual person.
If im being honest ur macalin was right, maybe he should have worded it better but idk the full context so im not here to judge.
Women if I'm being honest are the biggest reason for men going to hell, Men have the biggest desires for women, they give up deen for women, they will give up deen for their wives, etc etc.
It is a very big fitna.
Damn, stop cursing me lady.
Your father is a smart man, as mine has said the same thing in terms of marrying someone for their finical status and being good friends with them and respecting them, and to ditch the whole “I love him” bull. He said as long as you respect the man and actually like him, that love can grow over time.
The women I knew that married for love and promises … ended up getting abandoned and left. Theres blame on both sides cause who told you to keep having kids with him multiple times after he showed his ass to you? Lol
Thats what I’m saying that 90% of the women I know who have issues with their husbands… saw the bull a mile away and still had multiple kids with them. At that point they’re tolerating the man, and many women have told me that if they could go back .. they wouldn’t have stayed and had the multiple kids.
But we can at least sympathize with her and see where she’s coming from. But I do get your overall point.
The thing is my father has never advised me about men in my over 30 year of life he let me do my own thing. I was sharing with him how creeped I was of an old man that was trying to hit on me as young girl while I saw him as an uncle back in the days then my dad laughed and said be carefully there are too many qaashin niman to be exact he said some men never grow up despite their age. My father is ina 70s he takes care of his family and respects women he has a lot married and non married woman that respect him through out my whole city he is well known respect by men and women of all ages.
I couldn't reply earlier, was busy..
I brought up Prophet Yusuf's story as a rhetoric. I know Zulekha was in the wrong. It is just that in our community, if a married wealthy man cheats, they still find a way to blame women. Either the wife was not satisfying him enough or the other woman seduced him. The man is rarely held accountable irl.
I see your reasoning walaal but women have temptation too. These statements are problematic because they contribute to division especially when the part where one being accountable for their own actions is not emphasized.
Another example, is how men are told if they wrong/dhulm a woman, the same thing might happen to his daughter, sister or mother. Do you really think a rapist or a women beater cares about the what happens to his female relatives? He prolly does that to them!
Also, why should I, an upright Muslim woman suffer because of what an amoral male relative does to another woman? How is this the woman's fault? Plus, it just means more women getting hurt while the actual perpetrator is free.
You are right.
We shouldn't put all the blame on one gender only. At the end of the day, men and women are spiritually equal in front of Allah. That is why we both have an obligation to pray 5 times a day. We are equally responsible for our own deeds.
I also understand I might be biased from my part but this is how I process the sayings and statements as a woman and it sounds unfair. I'm sorry to the brothers here if I said something hurtful as that was not my intention
NordicSomali
VIP
Totally agree, that's why people shouldn't rush into marriage
Sax ur father is right many men are shit have better standards but not to much to the point u want a perfect nigga who does the most.
