I’ve observed too many women putting their heart and soul in a man only to get left or burned. The only successful marriages I see are usually the once where the women plays dumb by being manipulative. I am stating to thinks a lot women use manipulation for survival and for marriages. I am sorry most men ain’t shit I am so disappointed even my own father warned me recently.
do men understand fairness?
- Thread starter Ladylike
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NordicSomali
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It's pretty important that both of them are equal in the marriage, and both of them should be equally in love, without these the marriage won't last long, or the wife will grow bitter because she's tolerating a guy who is condescending.
It is what it is.
People mostly walk over those whom they feel have weak boundaries and who don't ask for their rights. It happens in friendships, it happens in families and also marriages.
Just so happens, women tend to be more easily manipulated and the forgiving ones in marriages. You can also find the reverse in situations in which the man is too miskeen. It is easier said than done though, because traditions coerce women to accept certain behaviors under the guise of 'patience' and being a 'good wife'. But when you're depressed, feel used, become bitter and crying yourself to sleep, people don't care at all.
I think its important as a woman that you have high self esteem, strong boundaries and to not be afraid of being alone if the alternative is abuse, disrespectfulness and or being walked all over.
People mostly walk over those whom they feel have weak boundaries and who don't ask for their rights. It happens in friendships, it happens in families and also marriages.
Just so happens, women tend to be more easily manipulated and the forgiving ones in marriages. You can also find the reverse in situations in which the man is too miskeen. It is easier said than done though, because traditions coerce women to accept certain behaviors under the guise of 'patience' and being a 'good wife'. But when you're depressed, feel used, become bitter and crying yourself to sleep, people don't care at all.
I think its important as a woman that you have high self esteem, strong boundaries and to not be afraid of being alone if the alternative is abuse, disrespectfulness and or being walked all over.
@Ladylike
Abaayo, you cannot fight years of social conditioning. Understand, there is nothing you can do or say that will change a man's mind to see you as an equal. He is either already fair and just from the get go or he was raised to believe women are basically inferior to him.
When you look at history, atrocious crimes were easily committed by dehumanizing a group of people. Do you think one can easily kill, be unfair or use and abuse a fellow human being if they thought, how would it feel if same thing was done to me?
Read this book when you get the time.
It will open your eyes on the type of men to stay away from..
Abaayo, you cannot fight years of social conditioning. Understand, there is nothing you can do or say that will change a man's mind to see you as an equal. He is either already fair and just from the get go or he was raised to believe women are basically inferior to him.
When you look at history, atrocious crimes were easily committed by dehumanizing a group of people. Do you think one can easily kill, be unfair or use and abuse a fellow human being if they thought, how would it feel if same thing was done to me?
Read this book when you get the time.
It will open your eyes on the type of men to stay away from..
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There's no such thing as true equality in this world, we're not meant to be happy in this world because it's only temporary. Plus, we are living in times in which people often contemplate suicide to escape from it.
So stop complaining and seeking answers that don't exist and get on with your life sxb.
So stop complaining and seeking answers that don't exist and get on with your life sxb.
I’ve observed too many men putting their heart and soul in a woman only to get left or burned. The only successful marriages I see are usually the once where the men plays dumb by being manipulative. I am stating to thinks a lot men use manipulation for survival and for marriages. I am sorry most women ain’t shit I am so disappointed even my own mother warned me recently.
nice
Men and women are not the same. Its a man's world and you were quick to remind me last time.
It is a mans world but it doesnt mean women donot have any influence over the men.
Not in first world western countries. I personally believe it’s even or slightly preferential to women.
I do not agree with that. We are not created to suffer we suppose to enjoy what is good and forbid what is bad in our deen. This suffering thing is specific to Somalia specially to Somali men in the way they treat their wives even during dating they set all these tests to see who accepts the most abuse/ disrespect. It’s ridiculous. That’s not how a man is supposed to be. We all know life is not perfect we will all die.
I currently know of someone who’s breaking her back by marrying someone back home she’s bringing him here yet he is already insulting her calling her fat.
Somali men from back home or then ones born here? Because if you say the latter you’re bugging
They do, which is why I said in my post that overly miskeen men can be taken advantage of. There are narcissist women who can mentally and emotionally break a man.
But the real reality is that women have been created to have a lot of empathy which can make them easier to manipulate in relationships and in many Eastern cultures (we don't have that issue as much anymore) a good wife is measured by how patient she is towards her husband's disrespect which is why women would be blamed for being divorced, single mothers ect even if she was abused.
Both.
We have a poster @Amina99 who went through the exact same thing.
The only proof men use is the divorce courts. In the Somali community, we hardly register our marriages, women hardly ever ask for alimony and women filling for child support is rare, even though they should.
When we look at the 'first world' what do we have? Older islan working in care, husband chilling back home with a younger bride, hasn't bothered coming back for at least yr, whilst his 50+.something wife who has raised his 8 kids is working 6 days a week. This is the reality of a lot of aunts I know. This might not be the reality of your hooyo Alhamdulilah, but take a good look at some of your aunts or your mothers friends. Especially if you're from the UK/London in particular.
Younger gen, the men tend to be better fathers for sure though.
Even if a man treats a woman well she often doesn't pay attention to it. Women are the most ungrateful things, if you do 100 good things for her and then do 1 bad thing she only remembers the bad thing.
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(Reddit topic) why are Somali guys approach phobic ?
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