Do any of y'all no longer care

greenvegetables

halal and earthy
At this point I might as well settle down with the first financially stable dude with a similar background and goals. I've accepted recently that although I am quite literally obsessed with my crush we will never ever be together for a number of reasons. I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone as i've loved him so at this point I'm going with the flow. I keep turning down proposals mainly because I don't swirl and it's always Arab men with interest. If salafi Idris Elba doesn't arrive soon I'm accepting the first Ahmed in line with good deen and dowry money. I could use it for textbooks.


Also side note, I'm just being crazy. I know Allah azza wajjal is the best of Planners. I'm just being ranty.
 

SOULSEARCHING

Hakuna matata
VIP
At this point I might as well settle down with the first financially stable dude with a similar background and goals. I've accepted recently that although I am quite literally obsessed with my crush we will never ever be together for a number of reasons. I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone as i've loved him so at this point I'm going with the flow. I keep turning down proposals mainly because I don't swirl and it's always Arab men with interest. If salafi Idris Elba doesn't arrive soon I'm accepting the first Ahmed in line with good deen and dowry money. I could use it for textbooks.


Also side note, I'm just being crazy. I know Allah azza wajjal is the best of Planners. I'm just being ranty.
I can feel your pain, I get mainly Arabs and Turks asking me for marriage, they aren't bad looking either and they have money, but I want a Somali dude, not one from Africa lol cause those are the ones hollering at me the most, the ones here are not financially ready or good looking. This is mucjiso so sister.
 

Chun Li

under construction 😈💖
Why can’t you have a relationship with your crush? It seems as though you really like him, so why not go for him? :it0tdo8:
 

greenvegetables

halal and earthy
Why can’t you have a relationship with your crush? It seems as though you really like him, so why not go for him? :it0tdo8:

1. He's not Muslim

2. I met him before I became super practicing and we were friends and I think he liked me but I ruined the friendship and he had to cut me off lol

3. He has a gf he's in love with. She's perfect for him and they seem to bring out the best in each other

4. I can't be what he wants. I'm legit crazy and it used to overwhelm him when we were buds lol.
 

greenvegetables

halal and earthy
Yeah I'll never end up with him. I'm perfectly fine being single forever, men are usually nuisances anyway, but I want dowry money and land and I'm tired of working while going to school. And I want kids too. I feel like a two parent household is better than one.
 
I can feel your pain, I get mainly Arabs and Turks asking me for marriage, they aren't bad looking either and they have money, but I want a Somali dude, not one from Africa lol cause those are the ones hollering at me the most, the ones here are not financially ready or good looking. This is mucjiso so sister.

Who's financially sub-par and not good looking that you're not interested in?
 

greenvegetables

halal and earthy
It doesn't seem like you believe in this statement.

If I wasn't making $8 an hour and walking an hour to work I wouldn't think twice about XY. I'm diagnosed with PTSD and having males in my space is very exhausting, performative, and at times scary for me. Also they just tend to suck to be honest. Most men around me are underachievers, too feminine, and/or don't have the same goals. Mr. Right is most likely not out there. I don't care at this point.
 
If I wasn't making $8 an hour and walking an hour to work I wouldn't think twice about XY. I'm diagnosed with PTSD and having males in my space is very exhausting, performative, and at times scary for me. Also they just tend to suck to be honest. Most men around me are underachievers, too feminine, and/or don't have the same goals. Mr. Right is most likely not out there. I don't care at this point.

I didn't know you had PTSD, May Allah swt make it easy for you.
 

SOULSEARCHING

Hakuna matata
VIP
If I wasn't making $8 an hour and walking an hour to work I wouldn't think twice about XY. I'm diagnosed with PTSD and having males in my space is very exhausting, performative, and at times scary for me. Also they just tend to suck to be honest. Most men around me are underachievers, too feminine, and/or don't have the same goals. Mr. Right is most likely not out there. I don't care at this point.
How did you develop PTSD?
 

Shimbiris

بىَر غىَل إيؤ عآنؤ لؤ
VIP
At this point I might as well settle down with the first financially stable dude with a similar background and goals. I've accepted recently that although I am quite literally obsessed with my crush we will never ever be together for a number of reasons. I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone as i've loved him so at this point I'm going with the flow. I keep turning down proposals mainly because I don't swirl and it's always Arab men with interest. If salafi Idris Elba doesn't arrive soon I'm accepting the first Ahmed in line with good deen and dowry money. I could use it for textbooks.

Love? He's a crush, abaayo. Forgive me but I don't think you can claim to love someone you don't truly know, particularly in the setting of a relationship.
 
Most men around me are underachievers, too feminine, and/or don't have the same goals. Mr. Right is most likely not out there. I don't care at this point.

No offense, but I find that it's a common thing online that some young women, who are single, tend to think every guy around them is sub-par, do they actually believe this is the case, or is that a coping strategy until they find a good man, then the men around are suddenly decent.
 

greenvegetables

halal and earthy
Love? He's a crush, abaayo. Forgive me but I don't think you can claim to love someone you don't truly know, particularly in the setting of a relationship.

I admitted we used to be friends before I became more serious with my deen and cut non mahram males from my life. I initially didn't like him. I fell in love because he was genuinely one of the first people to care about me. Down to the small things. I'm still not used to people being invested in my safety or wellbeing. He was the first and will probably be the last...
 

greenvegetables

halal and earthy
No offense, but I find that it's a common thing online that some young women, who are single, tend to think every guy around them is sub-par, do they actually believe this is the case, or is that a coping strategy until they find a good man, then the men around are suddenly decent.

Idk what you mean. 25% of my city lives in poverty. I spent most of my childhood in poverty sometimes being homeless and moving a lot. These are the males that are accessible to me.
 

Shimbiris

بىَر غىَل إيؤ عآنؤ لؤ
VIP
I admitted we used to be friends before I became more serious with my deen and cut non mahram males from my life. I initially didn't like him. I fell in love because he was genuinely one of the first people to care about me. Down to the small things. I'm still not used to people being invested in my safety or wellbeing. He was the first and will probably be the last...

I understand and I don't think he will be the last, abaayo. There are good people out there, I promise you. I just meant that you might change your mind if you were truly with him in a relationship (not a friendship) like actually being married, living together, being around each other 24/7, seeing his worst sides, getting into arguments and fights. If you still care intensely and unquestioningly to a heart-aching point for someone after all that then it's love but without that I personally think the person is being a bit naive but I mean no offense when I say that.
 
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