Dating/Chirpsing fellow Somali's

[PrettyRicky]

It feels extremely awkward and uncomfortable. Somewhat like a surveillance camera is watching. Talking to non-Somali girls is waaay easier and more comfortable. Anybody else feel the same ? Any cure ?

 

[cawaale]

It’s good that you feel awkward and uncomfortable, that means you respect somali girls. The cure is to not “chirps” somali girls at all. That’s someone’s sister. Stick to ajnabis.

 

[PrettyRicky]

It’s good that you feel awkward and uncomfortable, that means you respect somali girls. The cure is to not “chirps” somali girls at all. That’s someone’s sister. Stick to ajnabis.

Chirps isn't to bang my man. It's to flirt. How the hell do you get to know a girl then ?

 

[Desert Flower]

It feels extremely awkward and uncomfortable. Somewhat like a surveillance camera is watching. Talking to non-Somali girls is waaay easier and more comfortable. Anybody else feel the same ? Any cure ?

Why do you feel uncomfortable chatting with Somali girls? They’re just like everyone else.

My guess is you’ve never had much interaction with them growing up. It’s a common phenomenon and one that leads to more harm than good. Nothing wrong with a little chit chat.

 

[PrettyRicky]

Why do you feel uncomfortable chatting with Somali girls? They’re just like everyone else.

My guess is you’ve never had much interaction with them growing up. It’s a common phenomenon and one that leads to more harm than good. Nothing wrong with a little chit chat.

I went to a majority white/asian school. It isn't great for when you get older cause everything seems unfamiliar.

 

[Desert Flower]

I went to a majority white/asian school. It isn't great for when you get older cause everything seems unfamiliar.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. When the pandemic is over, immerse yourself in places where Somalis are: professional events, conferences etc. You’ll get better after a bit of exposure. It’s never too late.

Also, there’s many types of Somali girls. You’ll find the “type” or one for you inshallah.

 

[Angelina]

And then people wonder why people are marrying later. Literally what I was talking about in an another thread.

One thing I rate freshies and older gen for is that they don't have the hang ups Western Somalis have. They shukaansi, socialise and marry each other caadey. Then we have this generation of guys who just want to stare and stutter, but feel comfortable with Becky.

 

[King Khufu]

Somewhat like a surveillance camera is watching.

Most Internet Video-Calls are more than likely surveilled in some-way.
Just most people learn to roll with it by not giving a shit about it either way;
Remember to act natural as possible with keeping a cool head.

Spoiler: Advice

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(I just believe that the video technology is for more professional uses like family calls, long time friends catching up, business/school class meetings.)

I know people would like to believe that their dating lives are more to themselves than that but anybody who can exploit the technology will do so for their black-mail/scamming/selfishness/ being dirty no goods e.t.c.
So I advice people please to use these video technologies more seriously by being appropriate.
Having a good sense of manners also should be enough to impress someone you would like to seriously know but behaving should be no problem to those who have enough of a brain to grace themselves with a sense of social wits.


Anybody that is lucky enough to have secured private systems at disposal, congratulations to you. Protection that deep is almost required to keep anything online insanely private.
(That only garauntees you. Not on your parties extended end recepted either. IJS broez.)

 

[butANumba]

I used to be like you until I got whatsapp. I been flirting with 9 girls at once when I had no job early in the pandemic. Good times. It goes from seetahay abaaya to way kaa shidantahy abaaya in a kushimiyaa rabaa hada to luuqa igu soo gal waan kula joogaa.

 

[Lord]

Me too i have tried my best but it seems like its never going to happen. I dont even want to get married untill 30 and I want 1 child. I dont think i will.end up with a somali

 

[King Khufu]

I got whatsapp.

I use to use whatsapp sometime a while ago as well;
but my friends accounts kept getting hacked by these impersonators who were hijacking my friends accounts sending threats to scam me!

It's a wild world out there, isn't it? Those days I sure do miss my friends
(Which I will not be hearing from for a long while not until I reach a safe point.)

 

[butANumba]

I use to use whatsapp sometime a while ago as well;
but my friends accounts kept getting hacked by these impersonators who were hijacking my friends accounts sending threats to scam me!

It's a wild world out there, isn't it? Those days I sure do miss my friends
(Which I will not be hearing from for a long while not until I reach a safe point.)

Never had that happen to me. One funny thing I used to do was. The girls I was talking to somehow their friends would add me and I would flirt with them without their friends knowledge. It'd go from Show me that hair to show me them tittties. Take off that busto you're wearing for a hijab naaya. No more shy Abdi waraabe aa lanoqday. Their friends had no clue. Funny times wallahi.

 

[Desert Flower]

And then people wonder why people are marrying later. Literally what I was talking about in an another thread.

One thing I rate freshies and older gen for is that they don't have the hang ups Western Somalis have. They shukaansi, socialise and marry each other caadey. Then we have this generation of guys who just want to stare and stutter, but feel comfortable with Becky.

I blame the parents. They literally tell the kids don’t talk to anyone, don’t make friends with the opposite gender, and then once the man or woman hits 25, they’re like “Do you have someone?” “When are you going to get married?”

Not to mention our culture looks down on families getting involved in the marital process. We are on our own.

My advice to those entering their adult years (18+) is to ignore your parents and talk to guys (if you’re a girl) and girls (if you’re a guy). It reduces the awkwardness and who cares if people talk? They’ll talk anyways. But I feel like the younger generation (Gen Z) really don’t care and I low key admire them for that. They do what they want.

 

[Desert Flower]

Me too i have tried my best but it seems like its never going to happen. I dont even want to get married untill 30 and I want 1 child. I dont think i will.end up with a somali

Marry whomever you wish and that you’re compatible with. He doesn’t have to be Somali.

 

[King Khufu]

Never had that happen to me.

It's different - the internet can be a very bad place so often now of times I tend to stay logged off.

 

[Lord]

Marry whomever you wish and that you’re compatible with. He doesn’t have to be Somali.

She

 

[King Khufu]

I blame the parents.

Blame the parents kulaha?! Nacaalayo. R u Mad?
Nobody takes shukanssii so seriously anyways. . .
Our people don't even believe in dating outside of a fancy dinner.

C'mon, every Somali girls I've had ever known always wanted to be "courted first" by hitting the night out in town. It's just a social thing for us!
Behind closed doors - it's very different. #JungleDrumMadness #BabyRoomBoomBoom

 

[Desert Flower]

Blame the parents kulaha?! Nacaalayo. R u Mad?
Nobody takes shukanssii so seriously anyways. . .
Our people don't even believe in dating outside of a fancy dinner.

C'mon, every Somali girls I've had ever known always wanted to be "courted first" by hitting the night out in town. It's just a social thing for us!
Behind closed doors - it's very different. #JungleDrumMadness #BabyRoomBoomBoom

Yes, I do blame the parents. Why so emotional? There are plenty who forbid their children from speaking to a member of the opposite gender only to turn around and ask if they have someone, or when are they going to get married. It happens, get over it.

 

[King Khufu]

show me them tittties.

This is bad behaviour! Discourage that.
Allah Forbid!

Better learn to respect people more wholesomely than that!
وَالَّذِينَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِمَا أُنْزِلَ إِلَيْكَ وَمَا أُنْزِلَ مِنْ قَبْلِكَ وَبِالْآخِرَةِ هُمْ يُوقِنُونَ

Spoiler: REMINDER

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[Angelina]

I blame the parents. They literally tell the kids don’t talk to anyone, don’t make friends with the opposite gender, and then once the man or woman hits 25, they’re like “Do you have someone?” “When are you going to get married?”

Not to mention our culture looks down on families getting involved in the marital process. We are on our own.

My advice to those entering their adult years (18+) is to ignore your parents and talk to guys (if you’re a girl) and girls (if you’re a guy). It reduces the awkwardness and who cares if people talk? They’ll talk anyways. But I feel like the younger generation (Gen Z) really don’t care and I low key admire them for that. They do what they want.

Its funny that parents have that mentality now because back home and during our parents generation, it wasn't like that whatsoever. Shukaansi was normal. However, I think that its mostly because early marriages were encouraged, whereas now our mothers want to make sure we're clued up and educated before making a massive leap. I don't blame them. Many of them have learnt the hard way how relying on someone a 100% can cause all sorts of issues. However, I think a better approach is to encourage daughters to focus on school and to also look out for potientials. That will give them the confidence to get to know like-minded men instead of wondering how to find a partner when they're 25+.