Bringing my foreign wife to the US?

[KhailTowers]

you need M1 visa, its eesi. Trust me!

What would be the benefit of the M1 visa?

 

[Khaem]

Bro you have a family, you wanted a traditional woman so you gotta be a traditional man and play your part which included taking charge and making decisions.
Your wife would expect you to provide stability but that can't be done if you don't even know which country you want to raise a family in, jumping from one end of the world to the other like a nomad.

I don't know your life but I'm just gonna say, take some initiative and responsibility as a man and make up your mind

 

[Inquisitive_]

There’s a whole reason why you chose to get married from back home so have some balls and stay true to your choice. If you change your mind marry a woman from the States again much easier life.

There are so many men who would love be in his position, men that can't move their foreign wife to the West because there income is to low, can't go and live in Khaleeji countries for the same reasons, can't even live in Somalia as he would have to leave his menial job and he will run out of money.

This dude doesn't realize how spoiled he really is, but the western lifestyle has made him weak like most, so weak he can't even see the plethora of blessings all around him, it's sad really.

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

Somalispot more like ajnabispot

Masri mush ajanbi ya sit el ham el hanem.

 

[UgaasoGeeljire]

I'm not Somali, I'm actually Egyptian-American born and raised in the US, but can relate a lot to this forum.

I'm 29 years old and recently got married to a woman from back home (Egypt).

I wanted to marry an American raised Muslim woman, but none of them were Okay with living abroad in a Muslim country (Which I wanted). They all wanted to stay in America, and never leave.

That's the reason I went back home to find a wife, because many girls back home follow their husband wherever he goes.

My wife, for instance, never knew I planned to bring her to America.

I told her I was going to settle in Egypt, and not bring her to the US.

She liked that, because she wanted to stay close to her family. When the discussions of coming to America came up, she was very against it, and I had to convince her that I would let her visit her family regularly, and then after months she became Okay with it.

I never actually wanted to bring her to America, but after our wedding, we moved to Dubai and I became extremely homesick and missed my family in the US.

Also, I just couldn't get used to living in Dubai (small city, far away, lack of family there, etc)

Now I'm at the point where I'm about to sponsor my wife to come to the US, but I'm feeling hesitant again for many reasons.

1. Concerns of bringing her to the US

- Even though my wife is a traditional religious woman/virgin, I fear she could become Westernized and totally turn on me in the future. I feel this is really unlikely, because she comes from a very religious family, she fears her father and grandfather, and she never had the intention to come to the US in the first place. She is also very attached to me. She also has talked to me about how the West lacks family values, etc

- I'm worried that if I decide to move abroad in the future (Back to Dubai, Saudi, etc) she will not want to move back with me because of our initial negative experience in Dubai, and she'll just want to stay in the US

- I'm also worried that if we have a kid together in the US, she'll want our kid to grow up in the US, and not follow me back to the Middle East

- If my marriage doesn't work out for whatever reason, I am still legally responsible for financially supporting my wife (Part of the sponsorship/immigration rules in the US)

- Alimony and divorce laws in the US are very pro-women/anti-men, so I could owe her a lot of money if the marriage doesn't work out

2. Concerns of not bringing her to the US

- We've already tried living in Dubai twice and have had bad experiences due to my homesickness and desire to have my parents near me. This caused our relationship in Dubai to be really bad as she saw that I was always upset and sad in Dubai. My concern is if I decide to not bring her to the US, and give Dubai one more try, this may lead to the breakdown of our marriage altogether (Our relationship would probably be better in the US because my parents and family are near me)

- If I decide to take her back to Dubai and give the overseas thing one more chance, I would basically be agreeing to officially never live in the US again. I'm wondering if this is even practical. My wife is not the type of woman that would be okay with us living apart for several months (Like some immigrant men do, where they leave their women overseas while they work in the US/Canada/UK for a few months). Also, if we have kids, I'd have to raise them in Dubai and never bring my kids to the US as that would mean I have to bring my wife to the US. Is this even practical?

- I'd have to make Dubai my permanent home. In terms of visa, this is not a problem, because I have a renewable real estate visa in the UAE so I can never be kicked out the country, but there are a lot of things to deal with there. (Spoiled children, difficult heat, cost of child care, basically only seeing my parents once a year)

- My parents and family cannot move to the UAE with me because they have jobs in the US they cannot leave. I'd have to up and leave my entire family which would be hard to do (Although I may get over it after a couple of years of living in Dubai)

- I'm concerned if we try living in the Gulf one more time, and it doesn't work out for the same reasons, my wife will think I'm an unstable and weird husband, and this could lead to even more problems.

Question:

Would it better to just sponsor my wife to come to the US, or give living abroad with her one more chance, despite our first two very negative experiences?

You may be wondering, how will the third experience be any better? Well, I'm a lot more committed to sticking it out this time, and giving it more time to get used to a new country (The first time we tried Dubai, we stayed for 2.5 months; The second time it was only 1.5 months.)

For those wondering why we don't just live in Egypt. The reason is because I have an American passport and I need to live in a developed country (i.e. UAE) because the salaries are much better and the infrastructure in Egypt is horrible, so living in Egypt is not an option for us.

You’re letting fears that are unfounded cloud your judgement. If your wife has mostly grown up in Egypt and is a well adjusted lady, then she will not change her ways in the U.S. I have friends who are in the USA and mashallah are very on top of their deen even though they moved from Arab country.

Your wife and children will live a better financial life in the United States. If you raise them well, they will be well adjusted adults.

Many of the concerns you have about the USA can be found in UAE or any other Muslim country.

 

[Bowda-dheer]

There are so many men who would love be in his position, men that can't move their foreign wife to the West because there income is to low, can't go and live in Khaleeji countries for the same reasons, can't even live in Somalia as he would have to leave his menial job and he will run out of money.

This dude doesn't realize how spoiled he really is, but the western lifestyle has made him weak like most, so weak he can't even see the plethora of blessings all around him, it's sad really.

Exactly a lot of guys would wish they were in his position. He’s complaining about missing family, well if you start having babies of your own you will be busy with them to miss anybody else. Your parents and siblings you can go see them whenever you have a break simple. His wife will
Have a hard time in the the united states where she has to drive to even get some breed and milk. She’s gonna have Language barrier. Work life in America is not easy like the Middle East. Just too many problems that will eventually cause her to divorce him.

 

[Halimo-2018]

so let me get this straight you didn’t want to marry someone from the west because they want to live in the west forever when you’re the one favoring living in the west? I have a feeling you didn’t want a Muslim woman from the west for other reasons. Good luck with your marriage.