Boys Over Flowers

[sambuusi]

Recommend the best K Dramas

are you human? (mystery/drama/romance; this one is amazinggg omg)
moon lovers: scarlet heart ryeo (suspense/drama/romance)

for japanese, i recommend:
it's your turn to kill (mysery/horror)
mr. hiiragi's classroom (mysery/suspense)
mischievous kiss: love in tokyo (romance)

 

[Sophisticate]

a somali version would be hella interesting
i like slow romance, but not too slow
having the chemical reaction (not instant cause that's weird) + slow romance development is the best together

You're right. The only thing that gets a little old is the soap plots in some shoujos.
I want to be confused about who the female lead ends up with. Kind of like in real life where it feels like a a toss up. I ultimately want her to end up with the one who appreciates her the most because he proves to be the most reliable and responsible. This was probably the better ones of the shoujo dramas.

 

[sambuusi]

You're right. The only thing that gets a little old is the soap plots in some shoujos.
I want to be confused about who the female lead ends up with. Kind of like in real life where it feels like a a toss up. I ultimately want her to end up with the one who appreciates her the most because he proves to be the most reliable and responsible. This was probably the better ones of the shoujo dramas.

i know right?
it annoys me how they also make the ultimate pairing the mc with the "bad boy" or the one who didn't appreciate her from the beginning
sometimes the second male lead doesn't try to interact and confess to the mc, which is why it can make sense for that character not to be the one she ends up with
but the second lead is almost always the nicer and sweet one hence "second male lead syndrome"

 

[Sophisticate]

i know right?
it annoys me how they also make the ultimate pairing the mc with the "bad boy" or the one who didn't appreciate her from the beginning
sometimes the second male lead doesn't try to interact and confess to the mc, which is why it can make sense for that character not to be the one she ends up with
but the second lead is almost always the nicer and sweet one hence "second male lead syndrome"

I'm afraid they don't have healthy and secure attachments in mind when they do these match ups. What is even worse is the female mc chasing after the emotionally distant one which over time leads to him acknowledging her existence and opening up. The safer second lead is the better man not the embattled bad boy. I simply don't understand why she'd choose the latter when he's showing cad vibes.

 

[sambuusi]

I'm afraid they don't have healthy and secure attachments in mind when they do these match ups. What is even worse is the female mc chasing after the emotionally distant one which over time leads to him acknowledging her existence and opening up. The safer second lead is the better man not the embattled bad boy. I simply don't understand why she'd choose the latter when he's showing cad vibes.

i agree. this ideology in films and shows actually is harmful over all because toxic emotional relationships are being “normalized”. some women these days might find it cute but they don’t realize it looks better on the screen than it does in real life. it’s part of the reason why “bad boys” are being sought over a nice one because the whole image of a lowkey abusive guy is being romanticized.

 

[Sophisticate]

i agree. this ideology in films and shows actually is harmful over all because toxic emotional relationships are being “normalized”. some women these days might find it cute but they don’t realize it looks better on the screen than it does in real life. it’s part of the reason why “bad boys” are being sought over a nice one because the whole image of a lowkey abusive guy is being romanticized.

I think its because of this myth of being able to change a man which still permeates in society. Alas, gambling on a fixer upper isn't the way forward. If he's in a state of disrepair what he needs is a shrink not a love interest. The only way out of this is if he's working on getting himself to where he wants to be but by happenstance meets a mc along the way. He should by no means use a relationship to divest from his issues. If he wants support I get that but should not use someone else as a band-aid or as a substitute for his maladaptive habits. Unfortunately, that's what the bad boy normally does.

 

[sambuusi]

I think its because of this myth of being able to change a man which still permeates in society. Alas, gambling on a fixer upper isn't the way forward. If he's in a state of disrepair what he needs is a shrink not a love interest. The only way out of this is if he's working on getting himself to where he wants to be but by happenstance meets a mc along the way. He should by no means use a relationship to divest from his issues. If he wants support I get that but should not use someone else as a band-aid or as a substitute for his maladaptive habits.

exactly! i actually see this happening in the somali and muslim community a lot. whenever the son is a troublemaker, the mother tries to get him married off, so he can settle down. a wife isn't the solution at all and isn't going to help him behave. this whole situation isn't worth ruining an outsider's life.

 

[Sophisticate]

exactly! i actually see this happening in the somali and muslim community a lot. whenever the son is a troublemaker, the mother tries to get him married off, so he can settle down. a wife isn't the solution at all and isn't going to help him behave. this whole situation isn't worth ruining an outsider's life.

It's so sad and rarely do you see them actually reform. Marriage isn't an antidote and it's not within the capacity of another person i.e. wife to change him. That's a solitary pursuit.