Arranged marriages

[Abu Hesi]

16 yo old in the West?

 

[Ali20333]

16 yo old in the West?

No, back home she is 16 years old but in the west she lied about her age 21

 

[Abu Hesi]

No, back home she is 16 years old but in the west she lied about her age 21

16 year old back home waa gabar macquul ah, is she from your pops side or mom's?

 

[Qeelbax]

But what about if she give mentally disabled kids

somali + cousin marriage = high chance of autistic kid.

 

[Ali20333]

16 year old back home waa gabar macquul ah, is she from your pops side or mom's?

Didn’t u read my post I said my abti, but this is okay ur say wallhy niggas let me teach u something. Habar yer and Abti is metrnal side of ur family and Adeer and edo is paternal side ok.

 

[Ali20333]

somali + cousin marriage = high chance of autistic kid.

What kinda evil thing to say. What kinda name is Qeelbax

 

[Abu Hesi]

Didn’t u read my post I said my abti, but this is okay ur say wallhy niggas let me teach u something. Habar yer and Abti is metrnal side of ur family and Adeer and edo is paternal side ok.

Anigaa ileedahay say walaahi adigoo laguu dhisayo guri dhaqan celis ah, yaab!

 

[Qeelbax]

What kinda evil thing to say. What kinda name is Qeelbax

im being honest with you, a lot of somali kids are autistic. Couple that with parents who don't give them proper attention during their developmental years and it's just chaos. And add cousin marriage on top of that? If y'all have 3 kids, I'm sure at least one will be autistic

Also 16 and 23? That marriage ain't lasting 3 years.


Qeelbax is a proper name that I made up

 

[Ali20333]

im being honest with you, a lot of somali kids are autistic. Couple that with parents who don't give them proper attention during their developmental years and it's just chaos. And add cousin marriage on top of that? If y'all have 3 kids, I'm sure at least one will be autistic

Also 16 and 23? That marriage ain't lasting 3 years.


Qeelbax is a proper name that I made up

U might be an autistic person

 

[Danakiil]

My hooyo and Abti told me am getting married to my cousin. I was fine with it cause she was pretty looking. Should I marry her or not

Nah nigga say no tf. You're a man so you don't need your parents consent/blessing to marry any shorty.

 

[Angelina]

I knew you had a fundamental (moral) objection to pubescent marriage
Embrace the fact that you are a feminist apologist

You do know scholars who are okay with Childs marriages also believed that fathers should wait until marrying off their kids and that the Prophet s.a.w didn’t want his own daughters marry the Sahabas who were much older than Fatima r.a. Were they feminists?

No, so get out of here you weirdo.

There is nothing in Islam to suggest that marrying a child/teen is better.

I highly doubt you would have that reaction if it was a thread about a young man marrying a 40 yr old woman. You’d probably advise him to get with someone younger you hypocrite.

 

[jemappelle]

because she's a child!

No she isn't

 

[jemappelle]

You do know scholars who are okay with Childs marriages also believed that fathers should wait until marrying off their kids and that the Prophet s.a.w didn’t want his own daughters marry the Sahabas who were much older than Fatima r.a. Were they feminists?

The thing is you cannot say it is wrong, it is dependent on the situation, as I mentioned before 2 of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasalams daughters were married off by 10 years old. So you cannot say a girl is "too young" because she is 16, that is a non-Muslim outlook, the only time you can say she is too young is if you actually know her in person

 

[Angelina]

The thing is you cannot say it is wrong, it is dependent on the situation, as I mentioned before 2 of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasalams daughters were married off by 10 years old. So you cannot say a girl is "too young" because she is 16, that is a non-Muslim outlook, the only time you can say she is too young is if you actually know her in person

We are not discussing right or wrong.

Also, what proof do you have that two of his daughters were married off at 10?

Also, there is nothing wrong with saying someone is too young, similar the way a 20yr old man would say a 40yr old woman is too old.

You lot need to stop the hypocrisy. You’re arguing me about marrying a teen, but none of you would marry a 40 yr old woman, nor would you advice a guy to.

So enough.

 

[Angelina]

What I find incredibly hypocritical is that these men will say that thinking a 16 yr old in this day and age is too young is feminist influenced whilst at the same time being ageist towards women who are 40+. Didn’t the Prophet marry a woman who is 15+?

Get out of here. Women, just know these guys will use the deen based on their desires. Most of the guys here that will champion big age gaps with teens marrying men who are significantly older, look down on older women and call them expired.

 

[jemappelle]

Also, what proof do you have that two of his daughters were married off at 10?

Born in Mecca around 601 or 602 CE,
She was married before August 610 to Utbah ibn Abi Lahab, but the marriage was never consummated.[3] Ibn Ishaq/Guillaume p. 314.
By 615 Ruqayya was married to a prominent Muslim, Uthman ibn Affan.

1. Ibn Ishaq/Guillaume pp. 146, 314.

Zainab bint Muhammad (Arabic: زَيْنَب بِنْت مُحَمَّد)‎ (598/599—629 CE),
She married her maternal cousin, Abu al-As ibn al-Rabi', before December 610
Ibn Ishaq, Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم (1955). Ibn Ishaq's Sirat Rasul Allah – The Life of Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم. Translated by Guillaume, Alfred. Oxford: Oxford University Press. pp. 88–589. ISBN 978-0-1963-6033-1.

Also, there is nothing wrong with saying someone is too young, similar the way a 20yr old man would say a 40yr old woman is too old.

Your speaking on his/her behalf, thats the problem. Its the own guys opinion if a 20 yr old man wants to marry a 40 year old and he doesn't think it is too old, you can't come in and tell him he is too young.

You lot need to stop the hypocrisy. You’re arguing me about marrying a teen, but none of you would marry a 40 yr old woman, nor would you advice a guy to.

Marrying a 40 year old women is way more complex than just marrying a 40 year old, also if a guy in this forum wanted to marry a 40 year old noone would have any issues, they only have an issue when a girl does it
Also the OP is not 40 years old so ur example doesn't make sense

 

[Angelina]

Born in Mecca around 601 or 602 CE,
She was married before August 610 to Utbah ibn Abi Lahab, but the marriage was never consummated.[3] Ibn Ishaq/Guillaume p. 314.
By 615 Ruqayya was married to a prominent Muslim, Uthman ibn Affan.

1. Ibn Ishaq/Guillaume pp. 146, 314.

Zainab bint Muhammad (Arabic: زَيْنَب بِنْت مُحَمَّد)‎ (598/599—629 CE),
She married her maternal cousin, Abu al-As ibn al-Rabi', before December 610
Ibn Ishaq, Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم (1955). Ibn Ishaq's Sirat Rasul Allah – The Life of Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم. Translated by Guillaume, Alfred. Oxford: Oxford University Press. pp. 88–589. ISBN 978-0-1963-6033-1.

They’re not even sure when she was actually born. If it was certain that she was married at 10. There would be a big discourse around it like Aisha R.A

Also, marrying young was the norm in those days not just for girls but also boys, especially the aristocracy and that was all in nations. English Kings were married before 10 by proxy and they would be united with their wives by their mid teens.

Life expectancy in those days was short and producing heirs was vital.

Btw, girls in this day and age start their periods around 13 and having children close to menarche isn’t healthy. We have multiple studies about later infertility, later cancers. A woman’s peak of children is late teens to mid 20s. There are multiple studies about this.

16 is fine, but my point was about her education and finishing highschool and actually learning English since she’s a fob.

Your speaking on his/her behalf, thats the problem. Its the own guys opinion if a 20 yr old man wants to marry a 40 year old and he doesn't think it is too old, you can't come in and tell him he is too young.


Marrying a 40 year old women is way more complex than just marrying a 40 year old, also if a guy in this forum wanted to marry a 40 year old noone would have any issues, they only have an issue when a girl does it
Also the OP is not 40 years old so ur example doesn't make sense

Lol, you’ve not been on this forum long enough. The amount of threads about marrying older women and single mothers should tell you how they feel. And it is always the ones who come across as ultra traditional that have the most to

 

[jemappelle]

Lol, you’ve not been on this forum long enough. The amount of threads about marrying older women and single mothers should tell you how they feel. And it is always the ones who come across as ultra traditional that have the most to

Look everyone has different prefences, If someone says they are marrying a 40 year old women in reality noone is going to care.
also im 90% sure the guys in this forum would commit zina with a 40 year old women their only problem is marrying them

They’re not even sure when she was actually born. If it was certain that she was married at 10. There would be a big discourse around it like Aisha R.A

They are not exactly sure but we know that she was young, we also have other ahaadeeth about sahaba getting married in their teenage years, the main focus is Aaishah RA because there is ahaadeeth in sahih al bukhari about it and its the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasalams wife, so non-Muslims use that as their main argument as it is a easy point for them to try and stain Islam with
Also we both know it was common in the past for girls to get married young anyway, it wasn't see as bad by the society

Also, marrying young was the norm in those days not just for girls but also boys,

I don't have a problem with boys marrying young, tbh most boys wouldn't have a problem with that since their hormones are raging at a young age they are probably already being unchaste as a teenager anyway.

Life expectancy in those days was short and producing heirs was vital.

The thing is life expectancy then was around 65 years old on average, so marrying young doesn't really effect anything, that argument falls apart pretty quickly, life expectancy is calculating by average of all ages, not by the amount of each age
if you have 100 1 years olds dyingn and 100 70 years olds you will get an average life expectancy of 35.

Also not all women who got married were able to have children, or even alot of children.

Btw, girls in this day and age start their periods around 13 a

Actually it is fluctuating alot noe due to the hormones in our envornment, also average age is dependent on where you are born and your genetics, its not the same for everyone.

We have multiple studies about later infertility, later cancers. A woman’s peak of children is late teens to mid 20s. There are multiple studies about this.

In all honesty alot of these studies are just biased, they only do cetain populations of people, and the interpretation of them is wrong, most women who have children young specifically in the west are from a lower socioecomnic background and usually of a certain race and group of people and therefore due to that are more likely to have complications during pregnancy.

Correlation doesn't equal causation.

16 is fine, but my point was about her education and finishing highschool and actually learning English since she’s a fob.

She can get an education while marrried

 

[Angelina]

Look everyone has different prefences, If someone says they are marrying a 40 year old women in reality noone is going to care.
also im 90% sure the guys in this forum would commit zina with a 40 year old women their only problem is marrying them

Committing Zina with a 40 yr old means nothing. Many men would commit Zina with women they don’t even desire. We’re talking about marriage here, hence it is an irrelevant comment.

They are not exactly sure but we know that she was young, we also have other ahaadeeth about sahaba getting married in their teenage years, the main focus is Aaishah RA because there is ahaadeeth in sahih al bukhari about it and its the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasalams wife, so non-Muslims use that as their main argument as it is a easy point for them to try and stain Islam with
Also we both know it was common in the past for girls to get married young anyway, it wasn't see as bad by the society


I don't have a problem with boys marrying young, tbh most boys wouldn't have a problem with that since their hormones are raging at a young age they are probably already being unchaste as a teenager anyway.

We’re talking about 10 yr olds here. Kids don’t think about Zina at that age. They don’t have desires. Even in the past, marriage for kids was about alliance. It was for a purpose much bigger than desire. It was political and kids ect. That is why you find that when you look at past data, child marriage was prevalent amongst the noble and heirs of kings.

The thing is life expectancy then was around 65 years old on average, so marrying young doesn't really effect anything, that argument falls apart pretty quickly, life expectancy is calculating by average of all ages, not by the amount of each age
if you have 100 1 years olds dyingn and 100 70 years olds you will get an average life expectancy of 35.

Generally, on average a girl in the 1800s which is only what, 130 yrs ago could expect to live up to just 42 yrs. That is how low it was. So, imagine the medieval period in which the biggest killer of women was pregnancy? Also add in infant mortality rate. A mother could expect to lose many of her children before the age of 5. So starting younger made sense. Life on those days are no where near the same and arguing that is silly. For instance women aren’t even dying the same rate of giving birth.

Also not all women who got married were able to have children, or even alot of children.

Actually it is fluctuating alot noe due to the hormones in our envornment, also average age is dependent on where you are born and your genetics, its not the same for everyone.

I know this. I’m a woman and I know more than you. 9 is incredibly early time to start. Look it up. Kids don’t usually start their periods in year 5. That is fact.

In all honesty alot of these studies are just biased, they only do cetain populations of people, and the interpretation of them is wrong, most women who have children young specifically in the west are from a lower socioecomnic background and usually of a certain race and group of people and therefore due to that are more likely to have complications during pregnancy.

Nope, it’s more than that. My sister is a doctor and there is a medical component to it as well, but just socioeconomical. A lot of it is due to girls bodies not being fully developed despite having periods. There are other reasons as well.

Correlation doesn't equal causation.

Nope, there are legit medical reasons. Most young girls bodies don’t finish developing despite starting their periods.

She can get an education while marrried

 

[Amber]

Yes

don't get married