mrlog
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Are you willing to send money to your father, his 2nd wife, and her kids in Somalia?
- Thread starter Yaraye
- Start date
Quite clearly this thread got bamboozled by females who aint the one with responsibility to send money back home. As a man not only would i help my half sibblings out but id even help my wifes family if they need financial help. That is Somali dhaqan, if u guys planning to live in the west your whole life no worries but who would welcome you back home when ur parents are gone and u never bothered to help anyone?
Odious Delirium
VIP
No he doesn't but if he asks for a sum of money based off the context given above its not gonna be a crazy amount with or without the whole family since the standards of living in somalia is cheap there is no reason not to except out of spite.
You have a duty to both your parents to serve them and helping them out in such a scenario counts. I'm not saying hand over every last penny you have and starve your wife and kids (although such a story exists and it was seen as a virtue)
Plus your a woman you don't need to protect and provide actually there is less consequences if you have a husband who provides for you to send some of your own money back since you don't have any responsibilities to fulfil with that money besides spending on yourself.
A man came to the Prophet ﷺ asking permission to wage jihad. The Prophet said, ‘are your parents alive?’ The man replied, ‘yes’. The Prophet said, ‘Then strive in the service of them both.’ [Al-Bukhārī & Muslim]
Barni
⚠️ EPILEPTIC WARNING ⚠️
Some of us plan to stay here forever maybe?
JackieBurkhart
The years don't matter, the life in those years do
Yaraye
VIP
most of us send money back home. Why you acting like we are greedy b!tches?
Leila
Wanaag iyo Dhiig kar
Somali women who live in western countries are always pressured by families back home to send money. Yes in the past traditionally women didn’t have to support their family but this completely changed after the civil war and Somalis came to the west. Everyone who moves abroad and has some kind of income are expected to send money back regardless whether they are female or male.
As for the OP’s question, I would send my father an amount that I can afford but if he was physically strong and able to work I would expect him to take the responsibility of providing for his family.
Yep, that is why I said in my post if they needed it I would. Yes I’d be annoyed because it’s like why marry another if you can’t afford it. Now I’d have to look after my mum, younger siblings, father of course and a whole other women who isn’t really my business.
What story? Interesting. If the man is starving his wife isn’t he violating her Sharia rights? A bit of a contradiction there isn’t there? You can’t marry a woman without ensuring her provision.
It’s 2023. I’m lucky that my parents are very self-sufficient, but In a lot of Western Somali families, a lot of girls provide and parents have expectations over them like they do their sons if not more. I have friends who send money to their dad, despite him leaving them at like 7 and never providing for them. They do it for the sake of Allah as they should. Also, Somali Islaamo are amazing. Despite some of those mothers not being provided for and their husbands leaving them to raise a lot of kids with no financial help from him, they still tell their adult children to give their father money for the sake of Allah so that the kids can get ‘dua’. MashaAllah.
A man came to the Prophet ﷺ asking permission to wage jihad. The Prophet said, ‘are your parents alive?’ The man replied, ‘yes’. The Prophet said, ‘Then strive in the service of them both.’ [Al-Bukhārī & Muslim]
I Made a mistake, it isn’t a weak Hadith. But he doesn’t have a monopoly like I initially imagined you meant.
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That’s not in ur power, tomorow if the white man tells you pack it up you got no choice but if that’s your plan good luck in the future.
Is ur father in the picture?What do you mean? My mother sends plenty of money back home to her family.
It’s not about greedy its literally not a womens job if she has a (husband) then it falls on him. That’s why most women in the west aint asked for qaraan. What i mean however is typically if there is a two parent household the responsibility falls on the father to take care of his wifes family back home.most of us send money back home. Why you acting like we are greedy b!tches?
Lol, times have changed. All my working friends send money to their abo. They might not be asked Qaran directly, but they’re paying on behalf of their abo or something like that.
JackieBurkhart
The years don't matter, the life in those years do
Yes, he sends money to his kids from his ex-wife. My mother also sends money.
Odious Delirium
VIP
The story of the men who got trapped in the cave and prayed to Allah with there most sincere deeds.
One of them was of a man who would bring milk at the end of the day to feed his family and both his elderly parents lived with him and he would always feed them first but they fell asleep before he got home so he didn't want to disturb them and wake them up and his children were starving and crying but he didn't give them any until the next day when his parents woke up he gave them first and then fed his family. So through this deed the boulder blocking the cave moved a little and with all the guys acts it moved enough for all of them to get out of the cave.
What world do you live in? barely any Somali diaspora aboo has moved back to the home country for ur ”friends” to be sending money back? the only Somalis i know who moved back are the ones with small kids who want to teach them deen and dhaqan. However i stil stand by my claim its the mans responsibility in a relationship to take care of his wifes family which (my dad did). The only women ik who pay qaran are the ones who are extremly qabiilist.
So both your mum and dad work? who use to stay at home when you were young and who was sending money back then to ur mothers family?
JackieBurkhart
The years don't matter, the life in those years do
My mother works part time and stays at home as well.
A lot of them do once they reach retirement age. I’m pushing 30 and my fathers gen are 60-70. Yes, many do indeed go back home. I don’t know what you’re talking about and refuting such a common phenomenon makes you look clueless. I even know many people whose fathers left when they were teen to marry a second wife and never bothered to come back.
I’m talking about the generation of women. They do indeed and are expected to provide for their parents. That’s a fact. Young women all work and parents expect them to contribute and sometimes do more so than brothers.
My parents and had a traditional set up. My dad has always been responsible, but unfortunately, I knew and know far too many Somali mothers that work in care and the cleaning industry. Now in London more than 60% of Somali habayars work In care with some even owning it MashaAllah.
Yaraye
VIP
Damn!!!!! Your mother sends money to her husband’s ex wife’s kids?!
Never in my life!
Gacmeey
Madaxweynaha Qurbo Joogta 🇸🇴
Yes the son owns the wealth because the hadith says مالك but the father can take what he needs from his sons wealth.
It was narrated from 'Aishah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
'The best (most pure) food a man consumes is that which he has earned himself, and his child (and his child's wealth) is part of his earnings." - sunnan ibn majjah 2137
Granted he can’t just take everything you it has to be necessary and it has to be actually money not your house or your car.
JackieBurkhart
The years don't matter, the life in those years do
No!!!Damn!!!!! Your mother sends money to her husband’s ex wife’s kids?!
My dad sends money to his kids, she sends money to her family.*In fact, her and my half siblings are beefing.
Yaraye
VIP
I was shocked for minNo!!!My dad sends money to his kids, she sends money to her family.
*In fact, she doesn't like his kids.
see! Now tolerating his previous kids is the normal human reaction
but personally i wouldn’t marry a man that got kids
unless it was my remarriage and I got kidsTrending
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