Apparently Somali women are to blame for their sons failure in the Western world

Parailia somalensis

J.I.S.A-JUBALAND
Diaspora Studies: Our Abos were Jusified [VENT]




Somali women often complain that Somali men particularly the older generation - the first generation of Somalis in the diaspora, are largely to blame for the breakdown of Somali families in the west. But as a young Somali man who was raised by a Somali single mother, I believe it’s on the contrary.
I recall recently having a sit down with my Hooyo to discuss why her and Abo split up. Their divorce split the family apart. It was an almost 4 year ordeal of Abo and Hooyo splitting and getting back together and splitting again, until finally Abo left and never came back (at least not to live with us) again. And I remember vividly how me and my siblings were so upset by the break up. We started blaming ourselves since we couldn’t understand what the problem was. Sitting down and speaking to Hooyo about it all she told me she had divorced my father because of his polygamy. Which was understandable since it’s why so many Somali women divorce their husbands. But I told Hooyo how that didn’t make much sense to me as polygamy was halal in Islam and had been practiced for hundreds of years (some even say prior to the advent of Islam) by Somalis. Was polygamy just a part of Islam that Somali women of today were unwilling to accept? My Hooyo said that wasn’t the case. Polygamy was fine it was just that Somali men treated their wives unfairly. Understandable. Financial equality seemed to be the reason. But marriages cost money, just like businesses you need startup capital to start a marriage. Mehr, wedding, down payments on homes, etc. So surely it’s understandable that a new marriage would cost more money initially and begin to level out over time. I explained this to Hooyo and she was quick to brush that aside. She moved to another reason: khat and smoking.




No doubt khat is a major problem. But the khat excuse for divorce is simply not legitimate. Khat is among the least addictive drugs out there with the least social and physical harm associated to it. Also khat was banned almost a decade after most Somalis arrived to the west. And since that ban the consumption has fallen drastically to such extent that its consumption is virtually entirely nonexistent. If khat was the reason for all these divorces surely all our families should be back together after western governments unanimously banned khat across the west. My Abo shortly quit khat and smoking after being divorced. Sometimes I wonder why Abo found it so difficult to quit while he was at home and so easy to quit only after he had left. If anything it felt like smoking and khat was Abos way of coping with being with my Hooyo. His reasons for quitting weren’t related to the khat ban as he did consume smaller quantities of khat well after the ban before quitting for good. Speaking to him on a separate occasion he told me khat and smoking was his way of coping with stress and it was only after the divorce that he no longer needed khat and cigarettes due to his overall stress levels being substantially decreased.



Hooyo switched again to another reason. Revealing the final layer of her true reason for divorcing Abo. She said that Abo wasn’t shit until she met him. That she’s the reason Abo was a made man. That she was the reason Abo was in the west, that she made him the man he is today. Which to me sounded so rich.
My Abo is the most amazing father ever. The fact that he overcame his several addictions is the sort of strength that I know some of my other siblings would need right now. Currently 4 of my siblings have smoking addictions that are really serious. If Abo was still around I’m so certain they wouldn’t be dealing with the possibility of a shortened lifespan because of their unhealthy addictions.



When my Hooyo and Abo separated it was like the best thing in this world was snatched away from me. And I don’t know if I’m really able to forgive her for it. I’ve never had an apology for spending some of my life fatherless. Abo is always blamed. I remember being a young boy and Hooyo making me think that Abo didn’t love me, that he loved another woman and another family and that was why he wasn’t there.
 

Parailia somalensis

J.I.S.A-JUBALAND
This wasn’t the only thing either. Growing up Hooyo hated me hanging around Somali boys. She always told me they were no good and that I should be friends with ajnabi guys most preferably Indho’yaares, Timo Geelecs and Cadaans. I recall one cadaan guy across my street and how we use to chill together when I was around 10-15 and how one time while at his home with a couple of other ajnabi guys they started playing porn. It was the most disgusting thing ever when I first saw it. The Timo’Geleec neighbour I had who was 2 years my senior tried peer pressure me into smoking so much that I came so close to it on 3 occasions. The indho’yaare almost got me locked up too. The truth of it all, was that these ajnabi guys were the ones that introduced me to drugs, crime, smoking, alcohol and porn. Not Somali guys. Most Somali guys I knew were admirable guys. Who would never have introduced me to those things. In my area it’s Somali guys that go to university and get degrees. Their female counterparts largely never go to college and are less academically endowed. Those that do, do subpar degrees in travel & tourism, hospitality and the likes. The best of them do liberal arts degrees. Somali guys are the ones who do the heavy lifting academically. In high school Somali guys including myself were at the top of their class, followed by some ajnabis and then trailing below were Somali girls. Somali guys set up salah rooms in school while their female counterparts saw it unimportant. Somali guys protected Somali students too regardless of age.

Sometimes I overhear conversations Somali women be having and the topic of Somali men comes up and to put it mildly I don’t like what I hear being said about them. I hear Somali women saying stuff like “Soomaalithu gumaysiga anfataa” and I wonder why some Somali women are so negative. Why they are so uncensored in their self hate.



I’m a Waadani. The blood of Samaale still lives within me. Somaliweyn ha noolaato. I just think a lot of young Somali kings are kept suppressed by a culture of single motherhood which tries to subconsciously instil inferiority complexes in us Somali guys.
A lot of Somali mothers came to the west and chose the financial independence that social welfare handed them for free as a means to become single mothers. Most of the reasons a lot of our fathers were kicked out of their homes wasn’t because they were trash it was because our mothers choose to be single mothers. And they assumed full responsibility - full custody over kids they later would raise into failures. There have been so many studies into single mother families proving how single mother households perpetuate poverty and the social dis-mobility of their kids. The truth of the matter is, single mother households, not racism, is what’s keeping most black people down. But black women don’t want to have that conversation. They don’t want to talk about how they have raised sons without a father figure and thus made them into gangsters or vulnerable boys who lack manhood - soon to be gays and Akafis. In truth this sort of thing is treason. I feel a lot of Somali women committed treason when they opted to side with the white man and break their own Somali families. And the fact that these women are presented as being some how the strongest amongst us is what’s so absurd. Strength lies in numbers. And in a society where being black and being a Muslim, and being a Somali is bad enough, our mothers choose to make us fatherless too.



So what am I saying? A lot of Somali women and their daughters exhibit a deep sense of resentment towards the average Somali man. They want to control us. Take for example polygamy. Monogamy is not only not possible it’s an injustice to men. Women reach menopause at 42 years old after which their sex drive drops before ceasing to be all together. Us men still have our sex drive since our bodies are still producing semen. By our very nature as men, we will still have the desire to procreate while our 42 year old wives will not. The idea that as a woman you having lost your sex drive, force your spouse to be virtually celibate for the rest of his life despite his sex drive is what’s an injustice.


Nonetheless. That generation of first-ers are gone. And today a new generation of Somali women exist, raised by single mothers who were largely single by choice. For these new women, it seems the problems have only been exacerbated. For one, they don’t even see the value in Somali homogeny. And have actually become a catalyst for the dis-homogenisation of Somalis in the diaspora. Soon there will be more half Somalis than there are full Somalis.


And before you say well why would dis-homogeny be a problem, let me paint you a broader picture. Somaliweyn depends substantially on the Somali diaspora living in west. Somali remittance keeps Somalis back home alive. It also supports local businesses. Somali Diapsora tourism is also a major economic generator. The Somali diaspora really constitutes at least half of the economy of Somaliweyn. So having the population of the Somali diaspora decline will mean Somalis back home have less money in their pockets and are more prone to a worsening quality of life. Add this to bans on immigration from Somalia/Somaliweyn to the western countries in which we reside and you begin to appreciate how the damage of dis-homogeny is really irrecoverable. Global warming will hit Somaliweyn hardest. With more frequent droughts that are more severe and take untold numbers of Somali lives. As Somalis living here in the diaspora the race against time to save this impending reality has not been made easier by the large extent of broken families which have been initiated by-in-large by a cultural herd mentality of single motherhood for welfare.
 
Haye?, what else is our fault? I have been hearing from you losers that Somalias civil war was caused by us. Somali men can blame Somali women for the failures of their homes, communities, Somalia being a failed shithole but on judgement day, Allah will hold you men accountable. Iska baashaala inta aad aduunka saarantiihin, akhiraad ka shalaayi doontaan.
 

BetterDaysAhead

POSITIVE PRIME MINISTER|Vanessa Hudgen is my hooyo
VIP
Our queens have no fault if you as a man chose not to better yourself, stay out of trouble or get your money up that’s a you problem leave our dear Hooyo’s out of this
 

BetterDaysAhead

POSITIVE PRIME MINISTER|Vanessa Hudgen is my hooyo
VIP
Wallahi this reminds me of how some AA men blame black women for the destruction of the black community, or as some blacks call it “blackistan”
 

Bossanova

Reporting Live from Streets
No one read it sorry!


Next......
I did, but it really didn’t seem threadworthy. I’m not one for the macho man, hide your feelings to be alpha shit, but this just screams bitçh shit.

Somali men must overcome their upbringing and promise to be better. Anyone accepting this laangab attitude is the reason why Somali men run to the alt-right movements. So, I’ll leave you with this.

Save your story for Oprah!
- Macminded
 
Th
I did, but it really didn’t seem threadworthy. I’m not one for the macho man, hide your feelings to be alpha shit, but this just screams bitçh shit.

Somali men must overcome their upbringing and promise to be better. Anyone accepting this laangab attitude is the reason why Somali me run to the alt-right movements. So, I’ll leave you with this.

Save your story for Oprah!
- Macminded
I read a little bit, it was too dumb for me to read it all.

He is blaming Somali women for not accepting a broke khat chewing man, who had the audacity to marry again, despite not being able afford to do so so and not even treat their wives fairly.

All of that is legitimate reasons to divorce and to be angry. God forbid, but if my abo was like that I would be bitter.

Basically his whole thread is 'I think some Somali men are shit, but women have to accept it!!!'

Errrr nahh
 

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