Advice on getting to know one for marriage

[terrence]

I am soon finishing my education and of course want to find a partner. I've asked friends if they know anyone and I've been given a person they recommend.

fast foward, I made contact via a third peron and she agreed to meet. She knew who I was and I don't know if it's positive or not. But what happens when you meet? Is there regular talk or a boast similar job interview?

I don't remember the last time I talked to a Somali sister (exlude familie) to be honest. At school I am surrounded by ajnabi, so this will be exciting. Don't get me wrong and think I'm weird. Im busy with Uni, sports, work and other things. So I dont have time for what the other gaajo are doing

 

[Libaaxseendheer]

Marry a girl who is respectable, meaning doesnt have a twitter account. Make sure shes a hijabi, otherwise the chances of /ghetto habits emerging post honeymoon will up by 40%. If you really want a risk free angel of a wife, marry from back home. A beautiful home bred gal that will bring nothing but peace and tranquility to your life, sure proof.

 

[Amal44]

The first meeting should be just a casual conversation and getting to know one another. Ask her about her hobbies or interests. See if you have anything in common. Don't make it like a job interview. Be yourself.

Few things I would look at IN ORDER when really getting to know her:

1) Her Deen. This will be the mother of your children. You need to ensure the religion stays intact if you are a muslim

2) Her relationship with her family: This is huge because how she treats her siblings and her parents will likely be how she treats you on a daily basis.

3) Attraction: For obvious reasons.

4) Her reliance on her parents. Is she independent? How's her finances? Is she in debt? Does she have a job related to what she studied at school? Does she have a strong passion for something? Is she ambitious and willing to improve and evolve as person overtime? Whats her pet peeve?

You don't really know someone until you've lived with them for some time. So you'll never truly know them prior to marriage. But if you can get a good idea on the things mentioned above you'll have a clearer picture.



.

 

[Basra]

A PLAY.


Meeting of Future Spouses:




terrence is pleased with the partner approaching, he has been eye googling her on facebook, it feels
good to see her in real life.

terrence: Hello, i don't know whether to shake your hand or hug you?


Partner: Smiles. I am a Hugger. (they Hug, the partner squiezes the hands of terrence to see if he has muscles)

terrance: You are very pretty. Have WE met before?

Partner: No, we have not. But i see you around town, you also know my brother.

terrence: I am sorry, i am usually looking down when walking, i wear these huge reading glasses as you can see.
i am very busy at the university. I have no time for leisure or pleasure, although i have to confess i am oftenly
horny.


Partner: Coughs Coughs at the fear of being a victim of this thirsty n.gger on the weddding night.


terrence: enough about me, tell me about YOU? What are your interests? What did you take in the
university?

Partner. I like to volunteer in the Masjid/Mosque. I took Theology Studies in the University.

terrence: Interesting. So You must know how beautiful our religion Islam is then.

Partner: I am an atheist.


terrence: What? huh? Say What?

Partner: You know, i am Godless....?

terrence: I am sorry what? (sweating and heart palpitating at this point)

But you just said you volunteer at the Mosque?

Partner: Oh i am doing that for my PHD resume, i want to go to Harvard.

terrence: Wait...is your brother Aussie Hustler?

Partner: Yep.

terrence: Well...its been lovely meeting you dear, lets not do this again. BYE.

 

[Desert Flower]

The first meeting should be just a casual conversation and getting to know one another. Ask her about her hobbies or interests. See if you have anything in common. Don't make it like a job interview. Be yourself.

Few things I would look at IN ORDER when really getting to know her:

1) Her Deen. This will be the mother of your children. You need to ensure the religion stays intact if you are a muslim

2) Her relationship with her family: This is huge because how she treats her siblings and her parents will likely be how she treats you on a daily basis.

3) Attraction: For obvious reasons.

4) Her reliance on her parents. Is she independent? How's her finances? Is she in debt? Does she have a job related to what she studied at school? Does she have a strong passion for something? Is she ambitious and willing to improve and evolve as person overtime? Whats her pet peeve?

You don't really know someone until you've lived with them for some time. So you'll never truly know them prior to marriage. But if you can get a good idea on the things mentioned above you'll have a clearer picture.



.

solid advice. I would also add make istikhara as well before you proceed and just get to know her and talk to her how you’d talk to any other girl. Treat each other with respect and just see where things go from there inshallah. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

Edit: Btw, you sound really sweet and I can tell you’d make a woman really happy one day.

 

[Halimo-2018]

I am soon finishing my education and of course want to find a partner. I've asked friends if they know anyone and I've been given a person they recommend.

fast foward, I made contact via a third peron and she agreed to meet. She knew who I was and I don't know if it's positive or not. But what happens when you meet? Is there regular talk or a boast similar job interview?

I don't remember the last time I talked to a Somali sister (exlude familie) to be honest. At school I am surrounded by ajnabi, so this will be exciting. Don't get me wrong and think I'm weird. Im busy with Uni, sports, work and other things. So I dont have time for what the other gaajo are doing

Check your friend zone. Girls you have known years but you either friend. Zone them or they friend zone you. I say this because its easier to start with someone you already know than going with someone you have no idea who they are except the show they put. On for you. Do your best and pray istighar once you made tour mind and proceed. Good luck.

 

[terrence]

Marry a girl who is respectable, meaning doesnt have a twitter account. Make sure shes a hijabi, otherwise the chances of /ghetto habits emerging post honeymoon will up by 40%. If you really want a risk free angel of a wife, marry from back home. A beautiful home bred gal that will bring nothing but peace and tranquility to your life, sure proof.

Doesn't make sense to get married back home when there are sisters here who are not married. I have never understood the mindset to fmarry back home. Why not give them tarbiyah while you are married?

 

[terrence]

The first meeting should be just a casual conversation and getting to know one another. Ask her about her hobbies or interests. See if you have anything in common. Don't make it like a job interview. Be yourself.

Few things I would look at IN ORDER when really getting to know her:

1) Her Deen. This will be the mother of your children. You need to ensure the religion stays intact if you are a muslim

2) Her relationship with her family: This is huge because how she treats her siblings and her parents will likely be how she treats you on a daily basis.

3) Attraction: For obvious reasons.

4) Her reliance on her parents. Is she independent? How's her finances? Is she in debt? Does she have a job related to what she studied at school? Does she have a strong passion for something? Is she ambitious and willing to improve and evolve as person overtime? Whats her pet peeve?

You don't really know someone until you've lived with them for some time. So you'll never truly know them prior to marriage. But if you can get a good idea on the things mentioned above you'll have a clearer picture.




.

I agree. It is absolutely must that the person must pray all 5 prayers, and that includes fajr in time. I think it is important to be hard when it comes to the deen, but rather compromise in other areas

 

[terrence]

Check your friend zone. Girls you have known years but you either friend. Zone them or they friend zone you. I say this because its easier to start with someone you already know than going with someone you have no idea who they are except the show they put. On for you. Do your best and pray istighar once you made tour mind and proceed. Good luck.

It didn't feel like it was the norm when I asked people, but kheir inshallah

 

[Vanessa]

@terrance inshallah you’ll find a suitable wife. Just make dua and hopefully with Allah’s fate you’ll be married within the future