Pearl of the Indian Ocean
Eiji Sawakita
Disclaimer-this is going to be a lengthy post so those of you who want to comment please make sure you read the entire thing and not just recklessly skim the post
To start off I am 18 years old as of writing this thread and five years ago both I and my brother were removed from my mother's care and placed into foster care. The reason being I ran away with my brother who was two years old at the time was because of the severe abuse and almost torturous conditions me and him were living under. Constantly beating, biting, punching and kicking me.
I remember on a few occasions were she beat into my skull with a metal spoon and I started bleeding and too matters worse this was before we were heading off the barbers so my hair was bloody and oily and it stung every time the razor would come into contact with the wound.
Things got so bad that I remember many times as a child being 8-9 years old and asking Allah why was I given such a horrific mother? What did honestly do to deserve this? even worse I asked Allah to end my life. My mother has been assaulting me since I was 4 years old. My younger brother was born when I was 10 and I remember holding him for the first time I've always been an only child so I was pretty happy to have a younger brother however who knew life would become increasingly harder after this
A year after my brother's birth she began
Whenever she was feeding him and he vomited she snapped and beat him like there was no tomorrow and there I was forced to watch the entire thing incapable of doing anything. I stood there and watched my baby brother being brutally beaten into submission and I couldn't do anything about it. This continue for about a year and a half and she advanced to hitting my brother's head and choking my brother in order to prevent him from throwing up but that just made it worse but then again it also lit a spark in me and the possibility of maybe running away.....
I thought about it over and over and was a very dangerous task to do but I couldn't just stay
I couldn't watch my brother being completely dominated like that. I grew numb to the beating I got; I didn't mind it anymore but not my brother, watching him hopeless like that was worse than anything my mother ever did to me. I planned everything out and ran off with my brother unfortunately we were caught by my aunt and you can guess what happened but I ran away again with my brother until we were caught by the police and I explained everything which then my brother and I were taken away from my mother's guardianship and placed in foster care and my mother was investigated.
I remember seeing my mom a year later after school which was a very awkward reunion to say the least but she started to break down and apologise but to be honest I couldn't care any less and this all happened when I was 14 and I haven't seen my mother since
I very recently left foster care which was a bag of trauma itself but I moved in with my father both he and my mother divorced when I was 7 and know he has his own wife and kids (my brother and I have two different father btw). Very recently my father has been pushing me to go and see my mother and when I ask him why he's only argument is 'because she's your mother' I argued with his poor reasons and how he never understood anything since he was never really there and his opinions are invalid. My father constantly brings it up and it's starting to become unbearable.
I recently had an argument with my father and he says that the mother can do anything she wants to the child because she is the mother. He even took it a step further and revealed that I am lying about my entire experiences about my mother and the terrible things she did and that I just told the social workers a fake story; I'm honestly starting to lose respect for my father and disgusted by it all.
His logic is that a mother can do anything inhumane to a child and make the child's life a living hell and the child is just supposed to sit there and take it because she's his mother. He even added that I should go to my mother apologise to her and that I am in big trouble with Allah at the moment; if my mother dies right now angry at me the my akhirah will be doomed? and that nobody will ever love me in my life
What a ignorant and brainless way of thinking- she does a poor job at raising me and because I decided to take me and my brother out of her care in fear that she would one day inflict enough damage on my brother that'd she kill him it's my fault?
This is the same issue I had with my relatives everybody sees me as the villain and her as this innocent saint who's done no wrong. My mother's sister who was my aunt forced me to damage one of my sexual organs as a punishment and despite all of this my father still believes I am in the wrong and lying about it all and how I shouldn't have ran away. I'm really starting to hate him. He chose the perfect and kind wife to raise his little kids and they live their best lives yet he continues to remind me of my unforgivable action of abandoning my mother who he chose to have a child with
I'm just so sick and tired of people weaponizing Islam and trying to make me feel bad about what I've done saying 'Your kids will do the same to you when you become a parent'.
It's already a miracle that I still retained Islam and I am very thankful for it since many young Muslims with similar experiences stray away from it but it's honestly tiring hearing people say bad things will happen to me in my life all because I don't want anything do do with the same women who brought me physical and psychological trauma
Even when I visit Jummah and listen to the Khutbah they always regurgitate this constant notion of respecting your parents and by all means I have no issue with and I understand that parents and seniors in generals are well respected in Islam no problems at all but they always neglect the privileges children have over their parents and all this does is create parents who are practically egomaniacs and use Islam to justify their despicable parenting
I understand this life is a test and we're told to pass through as though we're travellers
To start off I am 18 years old as of writing this thread and five years ago both I and my brother were removed from my mother's care and placed into foster care. The reason being I ran away with my brother who was two years old at the time was because of the severe abuse and almost torturous conditions me and him were living under. Constantly beating, biting, punching and kicking me.
I remember on a few occasions were she beat into my skull with a metal spoon and I started bleeding and too matters worse this was before we were heading off the barbers so my hair was bloody and oily and it stung every time the razor would come into contact with the wound.
Things got so bad that I remember many times as a child being 8-9 years old and asking Allah why was I given such a horrific mother? What did honestly do to deserve this? even worse I asked Allah to end my life. My mother has been assaulting me since I was 4 years old. My younger brother was born when I was 10 and I remember holding him for the first time I've always been an only child so I was pretty happy to have a younger brother however who knew life would become increasingly harder after this
A year after my brother's birth she began
Whenever she was feeding him and he vomited she snapped and beat him like there was no tomorrow and there I was forced to watch the entire thing incapable of doing anything. I stood there and watched my baby brother being brutally beaten into submission and I couldn't do anything about it. This continue for about a year and a half and she advanced to hitting my brother's head and choking my brother in order to prevent him from throwing up but that just made it worse but then again it also lit a spark in me and the possibility of maybe running away.....
I thought about it over and over and was a very dangerous task to do but I couldn't just stay
I couldn't watch my brother being completely dominated like that. I grew numb to the beating I got; I didn't mind it anymore but not my brother, watching him hopeless like that was worse than anything my mother ever did to me. I planned everything out and ran off with my brother unfortunately we were caught by my aunt and you can guess what happened but I ran away again with my brother until we were caught by the police and I explained everything which then my brother and I were taken away from my mother's guardianship and placed in foster care and my mother was investigated.
I remember seeing my mom a year later after school which was a very awkward reunion to say the least but she started to break down and apologise but to be honest I couldn't care any less and this all happened when I was 14 and I haven't seen my mother since
I very recently left foster care which was a bag of trauma itself but I moved in with my father both he and my mother divorced when I was 7 and know he has his own wife and kids (my brother and I have two different father btw). Very recently my father has been pushing me to go and see my mother and when I ask him why he's only argument is 'because she's your mother' I argued with his poor reasons and how he never understood anything since he was never really there and his opinions are invalid. My father constantly brings it up and it's starting to become unbearable.
I recently had an argument with my father and he says that the mother can do anything she wants to the child because she is the mother. He even took it a step further and revealed that I am lying about my entire experiences about my mother and the terrible things she did and that I just told the social workers a fake story; I'm honestly starting to lose respect for my father and disgusted by it all.
His logic is that a mother can do anything inhumane to a child and make the child's life a living hell and the child is just supposed to sit there and take it because she's his mother. He even added that I should go to my mother apologise to her and that I am in big trouble with Allah at the moment; if my mother dies right now angry at me the my akhirah will be doomed? and that nobody will ever love me in my life
What a ignorant and brainless way of thinking- she does a poor job at raising me and because I decided to take me and my brother out of her care in fear that she would one day inflict enough damage on my brother that'd she kill him it's my fault?
This is the same issue I had with my relatives everybody sees me as the villain and her as this innocent saint who's done no wrong. My mother's sister who was my aunt forced me to damage one of my sexual organs as a punishment and despite all of this my father still believes I am in the wrong and lying about it all and how I shouldn't have ran away. I'm really starting to hate him. He chose the perfect and kind wife to raise his little kids and they live their best lives yet he continues to remind me of my unforgivable action of abandoning my mother who he chose to have a child with
I'm just so sick and tired of people weaponizing Islam and trying to make me feel bad about what I've done saying 'Your kids will do the same to you when you become a parent'.
It's already a miracle that I still retained Islam and I am very thankful for it since many young Muslims with similar experiences stray away from it but it's honestly tiring hearing people say bad things will happen to me in my life all because I don't want anything do do with the same women who brought me physical and psychological trauma
Even when I visit Jummah and listen to the Khutbah they always regurgitate this constant notion of respecting your parents and by all means I have no issue with and I understand that parents and seniors in generals are well respected in Islam no problems at all but they always neglect the privileges children have over their parents and all this does is create parents who are practically egomaniacs and use Islam to justify their despicable parenting
I understand this life is a test and we're told to pass through as though we're travellers
Wow brother, there is this other user 
