Workplace Troubles

Discussion in 'Life & Advice' started by Bidaar Wanagsan, Dec 6, 2017.

  1. Bidaar Wanagsan

    Bidaar Wanagsan

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    I joined this private consultancy firm a month ago. Everything was swell. My last job in the public sector was long hours and lousy pay. Never be a social worker folks. It's not worth it. But a similar thing is happenning in my new workplace which occurred in my last job. I dicovered my coworker is sinning with a woman not his wife in ways that God forbids. She works in the same department. The convention I know is to frown upon such things and wag a stern moralistic finger, but up which pretty hole, front or back, a man decides to insert his organ of joy I don't much care to know.

    If my philandering buddy’s wife whom I know slightly comes to me for news, I figure I will be economical with the truth. For if politics has taught me anything in my long and hard years of trying to straighten the crooked timber of humanity it is that men should band together against the contamination of feminism. There is a reason why it is called universal brotherhood. Sisters can take a hike.

    But here's my dilemma: The cheating donkey is neglecting his occupational duties and hampering my work because others have got to pick up the slack. To many in the office this presents a happy excuse for outing him under the pretext of dereliction of duty. Fiddlesticks! When a brother is kind enough to share his bodily fluids with a sister, I bless him, I kiss him, and when I'm short on dough l blackmail him without ever intending to flick on the lightswitch in the darkened room of his forbidden love.

    The silent code extending only to the boys of course. If I catch a dhoocil romancing anyone but the father of her ten children may the sweet Lord cut me down if I don’t sing.

    But this son of a gun is gonna lose us vital business contracts and, much worse, take up my free lunch hour on bright noondays when all the staff is knocking back cold ones at the local wine bar to cover his shift.

    What shall I do?
     
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  2. VixR

    VixR Veritas

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    I thought you were supposedly old enough to know that there's no such thing as universal brotherhood lol
     
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  3. Bidaar Wanagsan

    Bidaar Wanagsan

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    The Holy Quran says all men are brothers. So who are you to disagree?

    Also, the guy did me a favor when I first joined the team. Showed me the ropes and all that. Surely I can't blow the whistle on his extra-matrimonial adventures. Women are heartless.
     
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  4. VixR

    VixR Veritas

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    I don't believe in whistle blowing, if anything especially with affairs, whomever the 'offender' may be.
     
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  5. Bidaar Wanagsan

    Bidaar Wanagsan

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    I thought the sisterhood were meant to stick together. You're not very loyal are you. I'm very loyal to my gender. I always put men's rights before women. God made Adam first, not Eve. Think about that. You guys are just made from a crooked rib.

    Forget about the ethics of whistleblowing. I'm just sick of doing this guy's job. How can I not blow it on him.
     
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  6. AbdiJew

    AbdiJew Moderator Staff Member Verified

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    1) Dont get into anyone's business in the workplace other than "did you do anything interesting on the weekend"?

    2) Don't gossip about anyone.

    3) If anyone gossips about anyone to you, look distracted with anything and keep it moving.

    4) Be equally friendly to everyone, even those who have a problem with you.

    5) Avoid being alone with women.
     
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  7. Bidaar Wanagsan

    Bidaar Wanagsan

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    Spoken like a philosopher AJ. I'm impressed. But how can you say that gossiping is verboten when this clown is interfering with my lunch break. We used to pile into our local diner and ogle the plunging neckline of the waitress. Now I'm covering this guy's case load.
     
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  8. Haji

    Haji

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    Bro....:whew:

    The words you're using is culus, I had to read some of those sentences twice. You should become a writer walaal.

    Just tell him straight what the problem is. If you're not his superior, then you gotta be passive aggressive with him after.

    But honestly, you should start a blog
     
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  9. KULTA

    KULTA Afrikaankii La Yaqaanay Waakan

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    My god you are a genius!

    Mr AbdiJohnson, this is exatly what i do!

    Expecially avoiding women. I avoid women, expecially white women, at all cost 24/7. Im not going to jail, nope.
     
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  10. Steamdevolopment

    Steamdevolopment The raging lesbian and reformed KKK member

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    Avoiding women is not the best option, instead use the things your mother taught and use the simple codex treat them as if they were your sister and with the respect and kinship that you would offer a sister :)

    Most women in workplace are capable of differentiating between sexual assault and slight flirting, but it important to understand that individuals have different comfort levels and must be respected :)
     
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  11. supz

    supz

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    Speak to the guy about his overbearing taste for vaginal juices. Tell him he has to either make the juice or chase it. :ulyin:
     
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  12. Bidaar Wanagsan

    Bidaar Wanagsan

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    How can I write a blog saxib when I'm a full on retard? That's for bright kids. I'm not bright. I'm dark as coal. I make the South Sudanese look radiant. No offence to SS folks reading this.

    You don't know how this guy thinks. If I try to reason with him, he will counter that I'm envious of his new fuck buddy and that the green eyed monster is what makes me run around screaming like a little bitch.

    Having laid eyes on his plain looking mistress I assure you that I can do much better. I just want to knock back my glass of red in the lazy afternoon accompanied by shapely young sweeties without being harassed and cajoled by our boss. We all pay if we don't meet our sales target. This guy is a nuisance. I need to expose him and expose him quick. But how without defiling the gentleman's time honored social pact?
     
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  13. Bidaar Wanagsan

    Bidaar Wanagsan

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    After Harvey Weinstein, I don't even shake hands with dumarka any more. I tell them I'm a devout Salafi with extremist tendencies - it's against my religion. They will never question your religion. You can pull the Islamophobia card on them. Hit them with the race card too for good measure. You need to outmaneuvere them in the oppression Olympics.

    That's why I feel for my nigga Roy Moore. He's got no cards to play. White dudes are the most oppressed people in the world. I sent him an email telling him to convert to Islam overnight. I will vouch for his Islamic credentials. In the age of Trump, ain't nobody in the media gonna lay a glove on him.
     
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  14. Bidaar Wanagsan

    Bidaar Wanagsan

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    What if he spreads rumors about me. I'm a singleton, and not in the "bachelor for life" kinda way. I'm against celibacy but I practise it involuntarily. I've not had a date since my ex walked out of our five year relationship for looking like the backside of a dameer. Why do you think I wear a toupee these days to cover my massive bidaar? My coworker knows and I don't need that info getting out.
     
  15. Bidaar Wanagsan

    Bidaar Wanagsan

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    The only dhilos I don't avoid are lesbians. Whilst I deplore them for stealing babes from honest men like me, they're as much at risk from rape accusations as the rest of us guys so it keeps them honest. God bless Steam Development's crew. The only hoes with integrity.
     
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