Why do some Somali mothers insist matching someone they know for their sons and tell their daughters to look for themselves?

[DangerBadan]

Is this mama's boy behaviour or is there a specific reason for this? I am leaning towards the unhealthy mother/son babying relationship that exists in the Somali community while daughters are treated like second class citizens and a burden.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Is this mama's boy behaviour or is there a specific reason for this? I am leaning towards the unhealthy mother/son babying relationship that exists in the Somali community while daughters are treated like second class citizens and a burden.

Ur just waffling for the sake of waffling none of what you said made any sense

 

[Keep it a boqol]

are you unironically complaining why somali women don’t have arranged marriages? Even if they did, i know you would be calcaaling about it

 

[Odious Delirium]

Keep these threads coming your an entertaining fool @DangerBadan

 

[Yaraye]

It's true the many somali sons are babied. However I usually hear daughters being matched, not sons

 

[Chaseyourdreamzz]

Somali moms are always tryna set their daughters up with people your misinformed

 

[Waa dhamatay]

Wait if somali parents don’t set up their daughters marriage, who are the sons being set up with Ajnabi women?

 

[DangerBadan]

It's true the many somali sons are babied. However I usually hear daughters being matched, not sons

Only if another family approaches. Otherwise, they won't make the first move. Moms love their sons more than their daughters. If she has only been having daughters, mothers can become sad. This anti-women hate is also shown by our women too. My cousin just had her third daughter and she was sad it wasn't a son. Her mother had to comfort her and say you can try again and she said what if it's another daughter? I can't take the risk and have another daughter as 3 kids are already too much to handle

 

[Lahaine]

More like it's the opposite. Girls get set up to marry family friends. And boys go out to the world to find the perfect Somali women

 

[Bari🐍]

You remind me of those people that make large generalizations based entirely off their anecdotal experiences.

 

[DangerBadan]

You remind me of those people that make large generalizations based entirely off their anecdotal experiences.

I said "some". You remind me of those people who don't read.

 

[Bari🐍]

I said "some". You remind me of those people who don't read.

I sense your deep disdain for Somali men. It is probably healthier for you to just ignore them and marry an ajnabi.

 

[Gacmeey]

Is this mama's boy behaviour or is there a specific reason for this? I am leaning towards the unhealthy mother/son babying relationship that exists in the Somali community while daughters are treated like second class citizens and a burden.

You are complaining that only the sons have arranged marriages and not the daughters? Your cuqdad for Somali men has made your brain go to mush

 

[Hodan from HR]

Please Read This in Somali Hooyo Accent:

Dangerr Badaneey, Ilahey wuxuu kaa dhigey inan somaliyeed oo sharaf badan. So blease istop this behaviorr, always talking nigative nigative things about yourr somali brothers..

 

[Dualke]

Most sexually frusturated user

 

[Yaraye]

Only if another family approaches. Otherwise, they won't make the first move. Moms love their sons more than their daughters. If she has only been having daughters, mothers can become sad. This anti-women hate is also shown by our women too. My cousin just had her third daughter and she was sad it wasn't a son. Her mother had to comfort her and say you can try again and she said what if it's another daughter? I can't take the risk and have another daughter as 3 kids are already too much to handle

Actually many somali women prefer to only have daughters. You can't imagine the number of times somali mothers have told my mother that she is lucky for only having girls. The truth is sons are harder to raise properly. Plus my mother is very happy with just having girls, she isn't sad at all. She thinks that she's blessed especially when she sees her sisters' hardship when it comes to raising a son in the west. Having sons is very difficult. The sadness that some somali women have when it comes to not having any sons comes from somali community's views on the importance of having a son. Without this kind of expectation/pressure, women are usually happy as long as their child is healthy regardless of gender.

I pray for your cousin. Having daughters is a huge blessing. I hope to have daughters myself inshallah.

 

[Sophisticate]

Somalis do not have a history of arranged marriage. Introductions can occur through the family but most leave things up to chance (nowadays). This applies to both genders.

As for being anti-female. Quite the converse from what I have seen. Girls are usually perceived favourably. The gender-based favouristism you discuss is not universal. It's unique to each family.

I'm not generally fond of acting blindly. I don't trust unknown entities let alone those who don't at least get a co-sign from those who matter most - family. You need to be extremely choosy about the type of person you wed.

 

[Bundasliga]

"Why somali boys & their mother have a good healthy relationship, they don't deserve that"

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

My childhood friend has 2 siblings that are also boys. His Hoyo wished for daughters many many times in front of them

 

[Nin123]

Is this mama's boy behaviour or is there a specific reason for this? I am leaning towards the unhealthy mother/son babying relationship that exists in the Somali community while daughters are treated like second class citizens and a burden.

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