Why Do Men Eat Before Women in Our Culture?

[Hodan from HR]

Being fed leftovers #dilemmas #youtubeshorts #shorts #storytime #podcast

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I came across this YouTube shorts video that addresses a strange practice in our cultural. This video talks about the women eating men's leftovers, which I find to be quite extreme.

However, I have personally witnessed a similar practice at some Somali events, where the men are served first. Unfortunately, this often leaves the women with cold and insufficient food. This seems very unfair, considering that women are usually the ones spending hours slaving away in the kitchen..

 

[mohammdov]

This used to happen when we were geeljira
And they used to do this if the food was not enough, so the male guests had priority
Originally, in the past, a man did not always finish his food. He had to leave some of it in order not to appear like gaajo

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

I have only seen this in Africa. It must be uncommon over here.

 

[Aurelian]

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[Dima&Damo]

Nah never heard this when i went to my tuulo never may this is an inland problem not a coastal one we have different cultures in the horn

 

[Yaraye]

I don't think that's part of somali culture. Never seen or heard of it, even in our history. Maybe it's another african's culture. Doesn't seem to be ours

 

[Yaraye]

However, I have personally witnessed a similar practice at some Somali events, where the men are served first. Unfortunately, this often leaves the women with cold and insufficient food. This seems very unfair, considering that women are usually the ones spending hours slaving away in the kitchen..

I've never seen men's leftovers being served, ever. However, I've seen the women being served after the men. New food, of course! Thankfully, serving women after men is something I've rarely seen at events. Most somali events are gender segregated and are served food separately. If it's not gender segregated and the food is served together, then it's always a buffet style. All the trays of food on tables next to each other. A men's line on one side of the table and a women's line on the other side of the table. Both genders getting food at the same time.

 

[xiin-finiin]

Being fed leftovers #dilemmas #youtubeshorts #shorts #storytime #podcast

youtube.com

I came across this YouTube shorts video that addresses a strange practice in our cultural. This video talks about the women eating men's leftovers, which I find to be quite extreme.

However, I have personally witnessed a similar practice at some Somali events, where the men are served first. Unfortunately, this often leaves the women with cold and insufficient food. This seems very unfair, considering that women are usually the ones spending hours slaving away in the kitchen..

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[TekNiKo]

Lol women eat whilest cooking in the kitchen

 

[Hodan from HR]

I've never seen men's leftovers being served, ever. However, I've seen the women being served after the men. New food, of course! Thankfully, serving women after men is something I've rarely seen at events. Most somali events are gender segregated and are served food separately. If it's not gender segregated and the food is served together, then it's always a buffet style. All the trays of food on tables next to each other. A men's line on one side of the table and a women's line on the other side of the table. Both genders getting food at the same time.

It is more common in the older generation and people back home abaayo. That's why I said some somali events..

Like last summer, we had a Somali barbeque event in my city. The men unloaded the drinks, napkins, bottled water, etc., while we were flipping the meat patties and kebabs. Division of labor, everyone was doing what they can do best, yh?

Then it came time to eat. The habos refused to serve us and were like, "Wilasha, eat first." The men were literally embarrassed and were like, "It's okay, let the gabdaha have food too."

You know the crazy part? Even when we, me and my halimo friends, took our burgers and sat down to eat, the habaryars did not eat until the men finished eating and left. I think it is some sort of social conditioning of older generation women. They think it will make them look greedy or they feel inferior to their male counterparts and so are undeserving to eat the same food. It's kinda sad when you think about it..

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Back home is worse.
Ideally, you would think the women get fed the best foods since they go through pregnancy and reproduce. I know most Reer Magal people and our generation don't hold such views. But if you attend informal Somali events, like duco/marti qaad, it still happens..

 

[Bundasliga]

I had a Mexican friend who said they still do that in mexico .

Basically the men who were outside working hard all day came home eating first.

 

[cooli3o]

I had a Mexican friend who said they still do that in mexico .

Basically the men who were outside working hard all day came home eating first.

that kinda makes sense tbh

 

[World]

It’s about xishood. It’s normal for nomads.

 

[𝕃𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕙]

Nah never heard this when i went to my tuulo never may this is an inland problem not a coastal one we have different cultures in the horn

I came here to say this. As an inlander it is considered somewhat ceeb in miyiga for women to eat before men. But reer bari xaliimos be digging in with the Adeeros

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

There might be a cultural breakdown, but let me try to slice it into two:

a) Of the old in the countryside (As recounted by my grandfathers): With nomads, as was our culture, best of the meal, say meat and milk, would be offered to the men, in their 'ardaa', and men in return would place aside half of it, incl. some of the best, for the women, and return it prior to beginning to eat. It is called 'xil-kasnimo - thoughtful, courteous, and gracious'. It is a reciprocal process, where men held women in their lives in the greatest esteem whilst women did the same. Of course, various regions, and communities practised differently, with deviations observable is some regions, as influenced by status, time etc., but by and large, with the nomads, it was so.

b) Of the new mostly in the diaspora:
Some, mostly women, wish to behold, and practise some of the old customs, but are not being reciprocated by men, out of ignorance, if nothing else, whilst others, mostly modern career ladies, wish to abandon old customs, and in doing so, vilify said customs sans truly comprehending, or recognising their value. I would venture most ills of our culture arise from young men growing up without fathers, or good male role model: 'lagu hirtayaal'.

 

[Abdisamad]

@Hodan from HR

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