Why are Somali women expected to do everything???

I literally do not understand this. We do not have to work or have to take care of other peoples children or do emotional labour for the whole family. It's crazy how the roles have reversed and Somali women/girls are expected to wear the pants in the house and do all this work meanwhile the men are coddled. Wallahi I'm genuinely concerned cause I've had arguments with older Somali relatives about this and they are telling me things like "you just can't rely on a man today" or " white women are working and having kids at the same time." However, we are not white people, we have our own culture/religion that says the financial responsibilities are on the fathers/husbands to provide. I don't even blame a lot of women that have internalized this idea of being a super individual that has to suffer in the name of feminism. I'm not even anti-feminism. I just criticize feminism and am aware of how it's low-key harming the Somali community (can't believe I am actually saying this). You are even coming across some Somali men wanting to split bills with their wives or saying they wouldn't buy clothes or a nice purse for them because they don't have to or it's unnecessary. Like whatttt I thought men would love to spoil a woman that they love and care about and not expect her to pull out her own debit card at the register. I sound like I'm venting right now, but I'm so over this shit. I am just so tired of having to go outside and work full-time and being pressured to go do my masters when I want to bake and engage in fulfilling hobbies and find a part-time/casual job.
 

Jacko

Asagu/Asaga
VIP
You are even coming across some Somali men wanting to split bills with their wives or saying they wouldn't buy clothes or a nice purse for them because they don't have to or it's unnecessary. Like whatttt I thought men would love to spoil a woman that they love and care about and not expect her to pull out her own debit card at the register.
50/50 is the future, mandem are catching on. So many benefits to it. Gender equality, both parties invested, along with less resentment, sacrifice and compromise.
 

exposedmeat

Hi HMM
I literally do not understand this. We do not have to work or have to take care of other peoples children or do emotional labour for the whole family. It's crazy how the roles have reversed and Somali women/girls are expected to wear the pants in the house and do all this work meanwhile the men are coddled. Wallahi I'm genuinely concerned cause I've had arguments with older Somali relatives about this and they are telling me things like "you just can't rely on a man today" or " white women are working and having kids at the same time." However, we are not white people, we have our own culture/religion that says the financial responsibilities are on the fathers/husbands to provide. I don't even blame a lot of women that have internalized this idea of being a super individual that has to suffer in the name of feminism. I'm not even anti-feminism. I just criticize feminism and am aware of how it's low-key harming the Somali community (can't believe I am actually saying this). You are even coming across some Somali men wanting to split bills with their wives or saying they wouldn't buy clothes or a nice purse for them because they don't have to or it's unnecessary. Like whatttt I thought men would love to spoil a woman that they love and care about and not expect her to pull out her own debit card at the register. I sound like I'm venting right now, but I'm so over this shit. I am just so tired of having to go outside and work full-time and being pressured to go do my masters when I want to bake and engage in fulfilling hobbies and find a part-time/casual job.
what did hooyo tell you to clean the dishes :silanyolaugh: :drakekidding::damn: oki XALIMO
 
It boils down to a few things:

are there enough men, making enough money for the family to live on, for women to marry?
if not, are women willing to be a 2nd wife to these men?
if so, then it shouldn't be an issue, any decent Muslim Man will not oppose supporting his wife financially and her being at home.

would women rather focus on their careers, while postponing their marriage/kids, to the point that they're in their mid to late 30's, single, and wondering where all the good men are?
or be balanced, as in, pursue your career/degree/etc, while also, being married? or at least, LOOKING for a decent brother?

also, this may anger some: but you do not have to marry within your ethnicity.
combability is based on deen which is compromised of character, morals, ethics, etc, and of course, you should be attracted to the person.
 

Xaruun

VIP
Thank feminism for that throughout history women were just expected to be house makers and take care of the kids :manny:
Only well off women were housewives. The average woman would still help out on the farm or work a side hustle. Basically they worked and looked after the house. I’ve changed my mind now ngl. I think we should ditch feminism and return to tradition. These women aren’t working hard enough.
 
It boils down to a few things:

are there enough men, making enough money for the family to live on, for women to marry?
if not, are women willing to be a 2nd wife to these men?
if so, then it shouldn't be an issue, any decent Muslim Man will not oppose supporting his wife financially and her being at home.

would women rather focus on their careers, while postponing their marriage/kids, to the point that they're in their mid to late 30's, single, and wondering where all the good men are?
or be balanced, as in, pursue your career/degree/etc, while also, being married? or at least, LOOKING for a decent brother?

also, this may anger some: but you do not have to marry within your ethnicity.
combability is based on deen which is compromised of character, morals, ethics, etc, and of course, you should be attracted to the person.
That's the issue tho there aren't a lot of men with this mentality and I am 100% aware of how expensive it is living in the west. The cost of living is high, but still I believe a man should strive and work to get by, so that his partner can stay at home if she wants. I'm not against women working. I'm upset at how there is this mindset now where women are being shamed if they choose not to work and go hustle outside the house. I want to welcome my man home when he gets back from work, not go do an 8 hour shift and be stressed and miserable and have to cook and do the housework on top of that. And yes I am aware there aren't as many Somali men or enough of them to accommodate sisters that want this lifestyle, but I have 2% hope left in me. If I found a good muslim brother cause we are down bad in 2021, I will marry him inshallah even if he isn't Somali. Thanks for responding without trolling!
 

Trending

Top