Hearing this makes me want to scream. Men shouldn't cry in front of women and whine about how they feel. What do you guys think
What's with this recent BS that men can be in their femininity
- Thread starter Wervelwind
- Start date
Odious Delirium
VIP
Agreed. Just like you wouldn't burden your children with everything you shouldn't dump it all on your wife somethings are better not spewed. It could very well ruin your relationship. Certain things you should just keep to yourself or share with a mentor not worry your wife with.
Shit, I don't even burden my male friends, I deal with it on my own.
A child simply doesn’t have the mental capabilities nor are they willingly sharing a life with you. You’re raising them. Your wife is your partner, your helpmate, your other half.
Lol, hate it when unmarried people talk about this. Believe me, when you’re living with someone day in and day out and you see that person as your ‘person’, you’ll be telling them nearly everything. it’s hard to hide when you’re stressed or down from the person you share a flipping bed with. How does one do that?! That’s how most normal marriages are. What will ruin your relationship is feeling the need to trust an outside man ‘mentor’ over your own wife. Especially, when the person most invested is your wife who’ll give the most undying support.
Odious Delirium
VIP
I don't think a man should burden his wife and 90% of men don't. Sharing and telling her stuff is fine. I think guys should do that but there is a barrier that he must have and I bet your husband has that with you as well as any brothers you may have. You just don't know it and he won't ever divulge it. Telling your partner nearly everything is fine telling them everything as a man isn't smart.
You do not want a whining husband. Talking about what stresses him out and trusting his wife isn't what I'm even talking about. That's fine. There are certain things better not shared but if you are going to then it's better to share them with someone you haven't made any investments in and can trust as opposed to someone you have invested in since that could ruin your relationship.
Plus bare in mind that he has to actually control himself in how he even express it to you so you don't feel a type of way. It's just not wise to go all out with your wife. This has lead to many divorces from women losing interest or getting the ick. You want your man to be a man not a woman.
Most guys simply deal with it on there own. Telling women just lead them to challenging it or trivialising it or telling them to man up aswell as losing respect for there man.
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Spoken like a man who isn’t married.
You have no idea of what 90% of men do and don’t. The thing is my husband tries it but I can tell straight away when he’s stressed. You can’t hide something that’s causing deep issues when you’re lying next to that person. Do you honestly think peoples marriages are soulless and couples can’t see when someone’s hurt, tired, broken down ect?
Saxib, when you’re lying next to someone and they’re stressed, as a person whose the most closest to him, you’ll know and eventually he’ll tell you. Especially when you have a close and loving relationship. What type of issues are you talking about? Financial? Family issues? And the list continues. Of course the wife will know about them and only those fake Alpha gurus online say this. Look at our own Prophet s.a.w, when he was stressed, who did he confide in? Khadijah R.A. Look at even Umm Salamah who gave the prophet S.A.W battle planning advise and she wasn’t even a man or warrior!
Women get the ick when a man is overly emotional or comes across as too weak. But when couples have been married for decades and a family, vulnerablity is unavoidable. Let’s be real, the average masculine man isn’t going to be overly emotional with a male mentor as well. So what’s your point?
No, they don’t. You have no idea of a marriage. Aren’t married either. Do you honestly think if husbands are going through financial issues they don’t tell their wives? Or if they’re stressed about an Ill family member? Do you honestly think you can hide stress and hurt from the very person you sleep next to?
Seriously grow up. Look at the marriages around you that lasted decades. Who do you think supported those men and listened to them and worked with them? Their wives.
Odious Delirium
VIP
Who do you think reinforces this mentality. It's married men who have lived long happy married lives aswell as guys who have been divorced.
Women also reinforce this aswell when they post countless stories of them losing interest after there man laid it out bare to them. It's feminine behaviour to go all out without a barrier.
Hardly, it’s the alpha types on TikTok. Hardly seen any married man that says that you shouldn’t share stuff with your wife. It’s all a smokes screen. Usually the man lying it bare and the woman losing interest happens in the dating stage. Not a husband/wife that have built a life together. Also, as for your point about barrier? What do you mean? Having a complete breakdown and ugly crying like a child? I don’t recommend even women do that if they can avoid it.
Odious Delirium
VIP
I'm not talking about financial issues or things that stress him out that stuff is normal to share and you wont know about it because it varies from man to man aswell as it being on things that probably have been there before he even met you.
Like what then? What would stress a man out that a man shouldn’t tell a woman? You should have at least an idea?
Odious Delirium
VIP
I can't speak for every guy it varies like I said I personally dont have much to be vulnerable or emotional about at all so I don't mind sharing its not that deep for me. I don't know if it's because you just deal with it and become desensitised and cut it out or if I'm just an outliner but one thing I know for sure is most married guys I know say they never emotionally burden there wives. I believe most guys judge it on a scale which is different from woman to woman so will emotionally burden different women to different extents based on trial and error of how she reacts and some guys keep the same barrier with every woman.
Some divorced guys say there wives lost respect for them because they did to much which caused a gradual shift between them and there wives where there wives used that same stuff against them.
It has nothing to do with stress. It's mostly things guys have been keeping to themselves there entire lives.
If it's fine for a man to be open to women, then why do so many women get the 'ick' when a man cries in front of them? Are you telling me those women are the exception?
Women feel weird when a man cries because they're not supposed to do it in front of them.
Women feel weird when a man cries because they're not supposed to do it in front of them.
Odious Delirium
VIP
Your supposed to be protecting her feelings and emotional state not being a wreck yourself. Some women can handle it but most will lose respect if you keep caalcaaling
Men don't have femininity to begin with so the entire argument doesn't have a basis
yh no. that may be your relationship, but a lot of peoples relationships don't work like that
I actually disagree with this entire point just based off of the fact all men are different, and your husband may be open to discuss his issues but most men will never discuss their issues with their wife, to a certain extent this is what causes marital problems due to not communicating properly, this generation of men may be a bit different but a lot of men would never confide in a women or talk to them about their problems etc.. they would just bottle it up and keep it moving. whether or not that is a healthy relationship is up to the individual who is married.
I think as a man, we view it differently. when you talk to your women, she wants to talk to you about her day, her emotions, something embarrassing that happened to her, how she isn't feeling well today, even if she doesn't want to say it she will indicate it with body language etc..
whereas as men, we don't like to vent, we don't want to talk about our emotions, we don't want to talk about our entire day, we don't like to talk about trivial stupid stuff unless its funny or interesting. So from that perspective I'm not going to talk to my women about how I feel and my day and all of that.
Also angelina if my mum died and I was grieving I wouldn't even tell my wife bc thats the kind of person I am and I know alot of guys like that. which is why women want men to talk nowadays more about their emotions, because they "dont express them enough", maybe women feel like there is communication problems etc
Lol. Don't ever be emotional around women.
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