What's the funniest way you f*cked up or did well on an job interview?

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

I recently applied for a job role I'm WAY too under qualified for, so I thought f*ck it. Let's have some fun. We had do a presentation on what we could bring to the department and basically sell ourselves. Very serious, very coporate shit lol

On the last slide, I added a pic of myself at the golf range giving a thumbs up with a cheesy smile & captioned it, "Because I, Farax Nak Muay, am an honourable man". The interviewer fucking pissed himself laughing and then we just bantered about the Peep Show for 15mins straight

It was basically a play on this meme, and now I might end up getting the job;

 

[Username]

Cadaans love that kind of humour, you've got job sxb

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

Cadaans love that kind of humour, you've got job sxb

I hope I don't. I'm way too under qualified sxb. I'm going to look like a clueless fucking retard when I actually have to do the job. It was fucking bants though
Most people can smash interviews if they show enthusiasm and have a little charisma wallahi. The other autistic retards at the assessment center were all acting like they were fucking Warren Buffett.

 

[Basra]

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

Pro tip for graduate Faraxs/Halimos job hunting;

• Banter with the interviewer and riff with them a bit instead of being some robotic f*ck. The less time you talk about serious shit, the more advantagous it is for you. It humanizes you, you wouldn't just be candidate #2,098
• Invest in some teeth whitening and smile! (bonus points if you're actually attractive and have a nice smile lol)
• Neck a valium before the interview, you'll be sooooo relaxed

My recuitment manager mate basically said "we're more likely to hire people who seem like more of a laugh/chill. Even if they're a little less qualified". You're fucked if you have the personality of a kitchen appliance, unless you're some sort of savant lol

 

[Abdisamad]

Pro tip for graduate Faraxs/Halimos job hunting;

• Banter with the interviewer and riff with them a bit instead of being some robotic f*ck. The less time you talk about serious shit, the more advantagous it is for you. It humanizes you, you wouldn't just be candidate #2,098
• Invest in some teeth whitening and smile! (bonus points if you're actually attractive and have a nice smile lol)
• Neck a valium before the interview, you'll be sooooo relaxed

My recuitment manager mate basically said "we're more likely to hire people who seem like more of a laugh/chill. Even if they're a little less qualified". You're fucked if you have the personality of a kitchen appliance, unless you're some sort of savant lol

Bro, how come you are always giving tip on using pills? Can't you do your shit without using pills?

 

[Riya.]

You’ve got the job

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

Bro, how come you are always giving tip on using pills? Can't you do your shit without using pills?

You think the other guys at assessment centers for good companies aren't on truck loads of shit? Mate everyone and their nan's on modafinil, adderall and a metric fuckton of other nootropics. Valium just takes the edge off and lets you be yourself in an otherwise tense environment.
Just think of it as a cheat code

You’ve got the job

I hope I don't. I'm gna get performanced reviewed out the door in under 3months. I don't want that shit on my employment history sxb lol

 

[Goodbye ✌]

Walal i app

You think the other guys at assessment centers for good companies aren't on truck load of shit? Mate everyone and their nan's on modafinil, adderall and a metric fuckton of other nootropics. Valium just takes the edge off and lets you be yourself in an otherwise tense environment.

Have you seen the show industry on HBO? Be careful walal

 

[Abdisamad]

You think the other guys at assessment centers for good companies aren't on truck load of shit? Mate everyone and their nan's on modafinil, adderall and a metric fuckton of other nootropics. Valium just takes the edge off and lets you be yourself in an otherwise tense environment.
Just think of it as a cheat code

Lool.. I have been to many job interviews some even involving iq assement tests etc.. But I've never taken any drugs of any kind.. But be careful bro some of these pills could have bad side effects..

I hope I don't. I'm gna get performanced reviewed out the door in under 3months. I don't want that shit on my employment history sxb lol

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

Walal i app

Have you seen the show industry on HBO? Be careful walal

Thank you hunno. My bestfriend works as a senior auditor at a financial services companies and I've met a few of his colleagues. It's eerily similar to that show. One of the guys from his intake even had a breakdown because of some arsehole client during busy season looooooooooool

Lool.. I have been to many job interviews some even involving iq assement tests etc.. But I've never taken any drugs of any kind.. But be careful bro some of these pills could have bad side effects..

I love how they give you a "not IQ test" IQ tests, sly fuckers
If it works for you then that's good sxb. But I like to get a bit loosey-goosey before interviews and assessment centers. Makes the whole process a little bit more bareable. The valium allows me to tolerate the "networking" linkedin fags a little better. The side-effects aren't that bad if you cycle that shit tbh.

 

[Awad]

Pro tip for graduate Faraxs/Halimos job hunting;

• Banter with the interviewer and riff with them a bit instead of being some robotic f*ck. The less time you talk about serious shit, the more advantagous it is for you. It humanizes you, you wouldn't just be candidate #2,098
• Invest in some teeth whitening and smile! (bonus points if you're actually attractive and have a nice smile lol)
• Neck a valium before the interview, you'll be sooooo relaxed

My recuitment manager mate basically said "we're more likely to hire people who seem like more of a laugh/chill. Even if they're a little less qualified". You're fucked if you have the personality of a kitchen appliance, unless you're some sort of savant lol

I fucking hate small talk, how do I act charismatic without actually saying anything?

 

[Abdisamad]

Thank you hunno. My bestfriend works as a senior auditor at a financial services companies and I've met a few of his colleagues. It's eerily similar to that show. One of the guys from his intake even had a breakdown because of some arsehole client during busy season looooooooooool


I love how they give you a "not IQ test" IQ tests, sly fuckers
If it works for you then that's good sxb. But I like to get a bit loosey-goosey before interviews and assessment centers. Makes the whole process a little bit more bareable. The valium allows me to tolerate the "networking" linkedin fags a little better. The side-effects aren't that bad if you cycle that shit tbh.

It's all a show really

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

I fucking hate small talk, how do I act charismatic without actually saying anything?

Mate the interview process/assessment centers are 90% small-talk and riffing back and forth. Irrespective of how brilliant you might be, you're fucked if you can't build a rapport with people very quickly. Most of the people in charge of the hiring process tend to be women so being able to flirt/bring a little levity is a must

Just be;

• Attractive, or atleast make the effort
• Smile and laugh at their dumb sanitised work appropriate jokes
• Waste as much time as possible by asking them well thought out questions to run out the clock