What man would accept that kind of clause?

[Yaraye]

I agree with some part of the video.

If he cheats or decides to get a 2nd wife consequences are:
- Immediate termination of the marriage
- Meher will not be returned
- He must pay her regular allowance for the 4 months she is islamically forbidden to marry. After those 4 months he isn't required to pay her anything else (according to our religion).
- If there are children, he must pay for all of their children's needs. This can be done either by child support check or him personally paying for the children's bills. Its best to send him the children bills (school bill, dugsi bill, grocery list, school supply list, clothing bill, hygiene list...etc) than a child support check. Child support check is too cheap lol

 

[Angelina]

That’s why, I would advice women to seek out men, who practice radical honesty.

And to built the confidence and the emotional fortitude to receive the truth as it is given. Irrespective of how it makes them feel.

instead of rejecting the bitter truth, for the sweet comforting lie, only to turn around and weep and whine about what liars men are. That would be my idea of logic!!!

No one, man or woman can read the inside of someone. I find it funny how men expect women to be some sort of mind readers and soothsayers. Also, a man that is telling you he doesn’t want a second wife now is telling you the truth based on this current reality, but people change and his reality might change at 40.

Being motivated by self interest is not logical my dear Angie it’s instinctual, it’s primitive and it always ends in failure. Like all the relationships that are built on its foundation.

It’s logical. Everyone is motived by self interest and above all men. It’s only an issue when women are. If a man wanted a prenup, most of you men would say he’s smart in doing so. Self interest is socially only ever a problem when women behave this way and it’s manipulative. It’s because women are conditioned to be selfless whilst men are conditioned to put their needs at the forefront.

A woman should have rights, preferences, needs, boundaries and standards. Not terms, conditions and demands.

Marriage is a contact. Men have terms and conditions. I want a woman that cooks, cleans ect. Those are terms and conditions. If a woman refuses to uphold those conditions, most men would leave. But if a woman’s terms are monogamy, it’s an issue it seems. Ah the hypocrisy of man. Hence it seems only men are allowed to have demands. By the way the polygamy clause isn’t a demand, it simply allows a woman to leave the union easily. Hence it’s funny how even a woman’s easy right to leave a marriage that hurts her is problematic for men like you. Shows how selfish you lot are and entitled.

The idea of loving oneself is rooting in western ideology, which has no basis in Islam, it’s actually narcissistic.

No, if that was the case, Islam wouldn’t allow women to have these contracts, but it does. What’s western is the fairy tale love of people not seeing marriage as a contact and Islam believes that marriage can very well be based on conditions.

Did you know that some scholars are of the opinion that Fatima may have had that contract with Ali? Hence who are you exactly to talk about ‘Western’ when these contracts were a lot more common in the early days of Islam?

And I’m sure you are aware that narcissism is a coping mechanism for low self esteem individuals.

But respecting, caring for and protecting your mental health, your emotional well being and your self image. It not only acceptable its a must.

You are throwing around baseless words: Narcissism, Western and none of it makes sense. You believe in a fairy tale and one sided one at that in which you expect women to have 0 conditions especially when Islam does see marriage as a contract ect. You probably have no issues with pre-nups, no issues with men divorcing women for not upholding their role as a wife, but as soon as a woman wants to uphold her rights to monogamy you have problems.

Seeing all of that, who is truly narcissistic?

Men who verbally over express love are either manipulators or inexperienced, but surely all relationships both professional and personal are founded on trust.

The polygamy clause isn’t about lack of trust. It’s about understanding that a man has the right to take on additional wives and that a woman who wants to be able to lead a monogamous lifestyle can also leave. The same way a man that wants a wife that cooks or is nurturing can also exit the relationship. The same way, a man has the right to protect his funds via a prenup.

marriage = service + obligation + leisure + salsa or tango which ever tickles your fancy.

without trust you’re forced to question every single action, statement the other makes, what rational human being wants to live like that?

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Men have the right to marry more than one wife.
Women have the right to refuse to be part of a polygamous union.

It's that simple.

The only men that are angry about this, are those that lack the bravery, honesty, charm, and finances to get more than one wife, without being deceitful about it.

 

[Wonky]

It’s valid aside from the wealth thing.

 

[Baarisiyomoos]

Lool. What man would sign on such a shitty contract

the man that’s right for me

 

[Sophisticate]

Pragmatism can sometimes manifest as suspicion that stops you and the other person from feeling at ease, killing a budding relationship (whether at the marriage stage or not). There's only so much you can do tbh (not strawmanning here, just saying). Eventually, you'll have to accept the risk. Trust + signs of genuine attraction at the start = long married life (oversimplification but yh). Might be stupid. But people should be willing to be stupid.

It is an oversimplification because you have not added the variable of time. I believe I specified in the subsequent post that I have not been raised in a polygamous home, so why would I accept that at any juncture? It is not about suspicion but acknowledging that someone may not be as honourable as they claim and can change. There is an adage: Love and be wise.

 

[Vapour]

It is an oversimplification because you have not added the variable of time. I believe I specified in the subsequent post that I have not been raised in a polygamous home, so why would I accept that at any juncture? It is not about suspicion but acknowledging that someone may not be as honourable as they claim and can change. There is an adage: Love and be wise.

I respect that and read your post. To me, it boils down to a false sense of security. Security against the risk of having wasted time.

Other people are not as emotionally intelligent as you are. There is another saying: It sounded better in my head.

Pragmatism can definitely manifest as suspicion.

Also, this post and the others are just mental doodles. If this seems like a strawman, let me know.