To you Western Xalimos, are you doing all the work while the men chill?

[Wervelwind]

A couple of days ago we had family friends come over. They are two guys my age. My brothers and them were in the living room.
My mom, unbeknownst to me, was making malawax in the kitchen (she made a lot) and shaax. I felt guilty about this but if I help her or intervene I felt like it would be xishood for her. Even during ramadan, she was making the food

What do you guys think?

 

[Reply]

A couple of days ago we had family friends come over. They are two guys my age. My brothers and them were in the living room.
My mom, unbeknownst to me, was making malawax in the kitchen (she made a lot) and shaax. I felt guilty about this but if I help her or intervene I felt like it would be xishood for her. Even during ramadan, she was making the food

What do you guys think?

Shame on you. Why didn’t you at least offer your assistance. Don’t let your mother slave away at this age in the name of ego and xishood.

 

[Aegon]

Shame on you. Why didn’t you at least offer your assistance. Don’t let your mother slave away at this age in the name of ego and xishood.

Shut up, you must be the type of guy to knock on the door of your wife who is doing her makeup to tell her that her colleague is waiting for her

 

[Griezmann7711]

A couple of days ago we had family friends come over. They are two guys my age. My brothers and them were in the living room.
My mom, unbeknownst to me, was making malawax in the kitchen (she made a lot) and shaax. I felt guilty about this but if I help her or intervene I felt like it would be xishood for her. Even during ramadan, she was making the food

What do you guys think?

I'm a male but in our household both genders work, and that's how it should be. If I was a halimo I would not work for the other gender hell to the mf canjeero no.

It would not be xishood for your mum if you helped her, both of you guys would benefit and you would get rewarded by Allah. I have no idea how you came to the conclusion it would be embarrassing for your mum if you helped her.

 

[Reply]

Shut up, you must be the type of guy to knock on the door of your wife who is doing her makeup to tell her that her colleague is waiting for her

Well I’m not a guy so my partner won’t be a woman.
Next time do a better and more intellectually superior scenario saacyaho.

 

[__08]

I'm a male but in our household both genders work, and that's how it should be. If I was a halimo I would not work for the other gender hell to the mf canjeero no.

It would not be xishood for your mum if you helped her, both of you guys would benefit and you would get rewarded by Allah. I have no idea how you came to the conclusion it would be embarrassing for your mum if you helped her.

They are Stone Age Niggas. That’s why their mad at you.

 

[Bernie Madoff]

I'm a male but in our household both genders work, and that's how it should be. If I was a halimo I would not work for the other gender hell to the mf canjeero no.

It would not be xishood for your mum if you helped her, both of you guys would benefit and you would get rewarded by Allah. I have no idea how you came to the conclusion it would be embarrassing for your mum if you helped her.

My one Somali friend looked at me crazy when I told him that I do household chores at home. This nigga still gets his laundry and food served to him In his room from hoyoo or sisters at his big age

 

[Internet Nomad]

Bro if you are free why do you not help?
I helped my mom all ramadan make the food when i was free. Me and my bro would take different days to help her. I would feel guilty to not do so. Especially on my free time.

 

[Internet Nomad]

There are different roles in the family the man is the manager/ bred winner and the wife is the house keeper / looks after the kids. However depending in the scenario you could take up a different role to help the family unit.

 

[Griezmann7711]

My one Somali friend looked at me crazy when I told him that I do household chores at home. This nigga still gets his laundry and food served to him In his room from hoyoo or sisters at his big age

How old is he?

 

[Qeelbax]

A couple of days ago we had family friends come over. They are two guys my age. My brothers and them were in the living room.
My mom, unbeknownst to me, was making malawax in the kitchen (she made a lot) and shaax. I felt guilty about this but if I help her or intervene I felt like it would be xishood for her. Even during ramadan, she was making the food

What do you guys think?

You are a grown man, so your mom is older. You aren’t a child anymore and your mom most likely has back and leg/foot pain from all those years of cooking and cleaning, don’t let her do stuff by herself.

 

[Angelina]

Aren’t you like 30+? Your mum is probably in her 50s/60s and isn’t young anymore. A bit of compassion goes along way. She’s at an age in which many tend to have aches and sores due to an aging body. I think since you were with your friends, she would have preferred to do the malawax whilst you entertained the guests since they’re male. I don’t think there is anything wrong with the scenario you described as long as you do usually help your mum.

One thing I’ve noticed about Somalis is that they might prize sons when they’re young, but once old age hits them, they’re grateful that Allah has blessed them with daughters because unfortunately, as much as a lot of men claim they love their parents, they lack compassion. Life is a cycle. Yesterday your mother, nurtured you, cooked and cleaned and did everything, now it’s your turn to try and look after her.

 

[A Mean Guy]

In my family, we usually shared the chores regardless of gender. Me and my brother would go grocery shopping and pay the bills. Our sisters would cook and we would clean the dishes.
Sometimes we would cook while the girls cleaned. It didn't matter.
If you are in your 20s, you need to know how to live independently i.e., know how to cook, do chores and budget for grocery shopping.
Furthermore, your mother should not be slaving away like this especially while fasting. Ramadan is not just about stopping your eating, it's also about increasing ibadah and remembrance of Allah (S.W.T). How would she have time to do that if she's always in the kitchen.

 

[Bernie Madoff]

How old is he?

24

 

[Wervelwind]

I wouldn't mind taking over for her and making/serving the malawax but it feels wrong to do that in Somali culture. And since my mom typically adheres to that (she says that the man is the leader in a relationship and whenever she wants to introduce me to a girl for marriage, she always tells me how good she'll cook for me), it didn't feel like the right thing to say

Whenever a bunch of Somali people gather, I always see this strange dynamic. Women are in the kitchen/serving while the men are relaxing.

 

[Gacmeey]

Everytime I try help in the kitchen I get chased away. The only thing I’m allowed to do is wash dishes

 

[Griezmann7711]

24

He gets food served to him in his room? Is he sick or just lazy, if the latter is true and he's 24 getting food in his room he needs to get out of his comfort zone asap.

Aren’t you like 30+? Your mum is probably in her 50s/60s and isn’t young anymore. A bit of compassion goes along way. She’s at an age in which many tend to have aches and sores due to an aging body. I think since you were with your friends, she would have preferred to do the malawax whilst you entertained the guests since they’re male. I don’t think there is anything wrong with the scenario you described as long as you do usually help your mum.

One thing I’ve noticed about Somalis is that they might prize sons when they’re young, but once old age hits them, they’re grateful that Allah has blessed them with daughters because unfortunately, as much as a lot of men claim they love their parents, they lack compassion. Life is a cycle. Yesterday your mother, nurtured you, cooked and cleaned and did everything, now it’s your turn to try and look after her.

I just noticed he has 31 in his profile, and he isn't helping his mum.

 

[Yaraye]

A couple of days ago we had family friends come over. They are two guys my age. My brothers and them were in the living room.
My mom, unbeknownst to me, was making malawax in the kitchen (she made a lot) and shaax. I felt guilty about this but if I help her or intervene I felt like it would be xishood for her. Even during ramadan, she was making the food

What do you guys think?

I wouldn't mind taking over for her and making/serving the malawax but it feels wrong to do that in Somali culture. And since my mom typically adheres to that (she says that the man is the leader in a relationship and whenever she wants to introduce me to a girl for marriage, she always tells me how good she'll cook for me), it didn't feel like the right thing to say

Whenever a bunch of Somali people gather, I always see this strange dynamic. Women are in the kitchen/serving while the men are relaxing.

First of all why does it feel wrong to help your mother?
Secondly, Your mother shot herself in the foot by telling you/raising you with that mindset. She shouldn't have let you see that mindset of men relaxing and women doing housework. poor mother. She should have brainwashed her sons into doing both work outside and household chores. I don't have any brothers but that's what one of my aunts did, now her eldest son that's in high school knows how to do most of the housework and helps around the house while her younger sons are currently learning and doing the minor chores
Thirdly, It's more embarrassing that you didn't help her. Your guest will see that and definitely go gossip about how your elderly mother was in the kitchen preparing food alone. Somalis like to brag about how filial their child is to them, and you didn't even stand up to help her

Fourthly, you didn't help during ramadan?! how horrifying!

 

[Kalsoon]

A couple of days ago we had family friends come over. They are two guys my age. My brothers and them were in the living room.
My mom, unbeknownst to me, was making malawax in the kitchen (she made a lot) and shaax. I felt guilty about this but if I help her or intervene I felt like it would be xishood for her. Even during ramadan, she was making the food

What do you guys think?

You’re using the Somali culture as an excuse. Why do you care more about outside appearances than actually helping your hooyo.

How can you be under the same roof and not smell malawax. You sound extremely lazy on top of being indifferent to your mother’s need for help.

First of all why does it feel wrong to help your mother?
Secondly, Your mother shot herself in the foot by telling you/raising you with that mindset. She shouldn't have let you see that mindset of men relaxing and women doing housework. poor mother. She should have brainwashed her sons into doing both work outside and household chores. I don't have any brothers but that's what one of my aunts did, now her eldest son that's in high school knows how to do most of the housework and helps around the house while her younger sons are currently learning and doing the minor chores
Thirdly, It's more embarrassing that you didn't help her. Your guest will see that and definitely go gossip about how your elderly mother was in the kitchen preparing food alone. Somalis like to brag about how filial their child is to them, and you didn't even stand up to help her

Fourthly, you didn't help during ramadan?! how horrifying!

Mothers who teach their sons these important life skills are setting their boys up for success and to take care of themselves when she’s not around. She wouldn’t even need to brainwash them. Seen young boys helping cook and clean back home because they were the eldest and they are baari to their mom.

It doesn’t take away from a men’s masculinity to help his mother.

 

[Kalsoon]

And since my mom typically adheres to that (she says that the man is the leader in a relationship and whenever she wants to introduce me to a girl for marriage, she always tells me how good she'll cook for me), it didn't feel like the right thing to say

Your mother wants you out markaas she’s telling you what you want to hear. She wants to get a break. Your poor mother is done raising you.