Keep it a boqol
VIP
This guy brought her to the US and she’s a stay at home mom. She secretly recorded the conversation they had. FARAHS is this the relationship you want marrying reer badiyo girls?
The OTHERSIDE Of Marrying A Woman From Abroad! (Heartbreaking!)
- Thread starter Keep it a boqol
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i don’t understand, he obviously wasn’t treating her right. Being a stay at home wife/mom is a job. I can tell how bad he treats her.
Not all, but many men precisely marry girls from low socioeconomic backgrounds that also lack education because they’re easier to abuse and manipulate.
We all know it, they know it, in fact they practically admit it, but women are gaslighted into pretending that isn’t the intention.
At the end of the day, lack of money and lack of education makes you vulnerable whether male or female. In fact, historically one of the first things oppressed/slave groups were prevented from doing was seek education and income. Masters knew the moment they had any independent education and wealth, it will be hard to continue exploiting them. Hence the idea of a man specifically looking out for that will forever get my suspicion. It is the exact same formula.
Call me a feminist, call me a man hater, call
me bitter, but that isn’t going to change the reality of your intentions.
We all know it, they know it, in fact they practically admit it, but women are gaslighted into pretending that isn’t the intention.
At the end of the day, lack of money and lack of education makes you vulnerable whether male or female. In fact, historically one of the first things oppressed/slave groups were prevented from doing was seek education and income. Masters knew the moment they had any independent education and wealth, it will be hard to continue exploiting them. Hence the idea of a man specifically looking out for that will forever get my suspicion. It is the exact same formula.
Call me a feminist, call me a man hater, call
me bitter, but that isn’t going to change the reality of your intentions.
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The problem isn’t that she’s a stay at home mom, it’s that she doesn’t get the respect she deserves for being a stay at home mom. Xalimos in this situation usually have great control over finances due to taking care of the household and kids e.g. clothes, food and they’re usually the ones more likely to spend lavishy, let’s not pretend a lot of women out there aren’t looking for a relationship like this, that said these kinds of relationships are prone to abuse if the man is overly controlling.
In the end of the day let’s not diss people and their types of relationships but instead look at every individual case and judge based on that. There’s relationships where the man and the women share a lot of the responsibilities together yet are still abusive.
True, but let’s not pretend women don’t demand that their partner is higher in status in some sense, whether that’s education, socio-economic background etc. it’s not as manipulative as you make it seem, the women back home are all trying to marry western somali men so let’s not make it about the poor little female victim being gaslight into marrying the richer, higher status man.
unless you can find me the women all trying to go for the poor downtrodden out of luck man.
They’re trying to marry these men because of how poor they are and the lack of opportunities they have in life. Marriage is survival for them. That doesn’t mean, that they are aware of the intentions that those men have for them. There is a reason why many men lie to these Xalimos back home about flying them out to the West but instead keep them there for many years. These marriages are built on the exploitation of poverty. Once Somalia becomes a first world country, many things simply won’t fly anymore.
LOOL, funny you mention that. Since the rise in women’s education and employment in the West. Hypergamy has actually declined. More households in the West are in fact dual breadwinner households.
“They’re trying to marry these men because of how poor they are” you could say the same thing about the man “they’re trying to marry these women because of how out of luck they’re in the west trying to find a partner” you can make anything sound sympathetic if you try hard enough. It just seems like they need each other to me.
idk what hypergamy has to do with women even in the west not dating men who’re lower status, lower educated than them is. People know that women don’t date down, just doesn’t happen in the majority of cases. You said it yourself, only male breadwinner and dual breadwinner households (even though men in these cases are still out earning their partner) not female breadwinner households exist.
I’m sorry, I didn’t know the inability of getting married to a better looking woman is more pressing than actually having a full meal and a roof over ones head!
Let’s be real, many could easily marry from the West. They choose not to because they feel they can access a more attractive and younger bride than what they can get in the West.
An average unattractive man can easily marry an average unattractive woman in the West who will also go half with him or at least contribute. But these men want to date up in terms of looks and age and they also want to have a household in which the woman doesn’t expect help or have any expectations apart from money which isn’t a lot due to the cost of living.
Lool, it is in fact a fact that hypergamy is going down in the west. Studies and statistics show this.
There has also been a rise in women breadwinner families.
reer
VIP
Most women in Somalia are not struggling to get a roof over their heads, they live poor but stable lives, you’re overestimating the need for these women to jump the socioeconomic hierarchy while underestimating the need for people to find potential mates, I could also overdramatise the situation e.g. “I’m sorry I didn’t know the inability to live like a princess is more pressing than making sure you pass on your genes and find a partner so you don’t end up forever alone”
you can twist the narrative anyway you like it but it isn’t concordant with the truth. As to whether Somalis could marry in the west idk, I also don’t know if women in Somalia could marry right there but that’s besides the point. In terms of looks I agree that’s important but what’s just as important and maybe even more important is behaviour in women, this is something no one ever tells women, their behaviour/ the way they conduct themselves from the way they sit to the way they move to their personality and characteristics etc are of the upmost importance and a lot of somali men are attracted to the elegance, grace, kindness and maturity some women have which is seen in greater abundance from women in the homeland (not to say there aren’t somali women in the west who hold themselves to high standards). Looks are more of a gateway of paying initial attention to someone more than anything else, it’s just the first foot in the door.
hypergamy going down doesn’t have anything to do with the conversation, hypergamy=women marrying up in terms of socioeconomic status, which is a very broad term that doesn’t explain the nuances of what women are attracted to which is essentially men offering something different which puts him above the rest in some fashion, whether that’s a skills, looks, behaviour you name it, women don’t marry guys they look down on. If we live in a society where everyone is the same socioeconomic status women will find something else in a man they find attractive.
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SomaliSteel
No dictator can imprison a population forever.
I dont know what she is complaining about. These women have kids in their home countries and still work full time in laborious jobs. She hit the lottery, coming to America and being taken care of with her kids.
Making weird tiktoks fake crying is pointless. Women in her home country would kill to be her.
Keep these women back in Asia or Africa. Only way to do it. Watching Tik Toks and Western media has her acting up
Making weird tiktoks fake crying is pointless. Women in her home country would kill to be her.
Keep these women back in Asia or Africa. Only way to do it. Watching Tik Toks and Western media has her acting up
I really don’t understand how white men flying to SE Asia and ‘acquiring’ wives there is not talked about enough. Whenever you see a half oriental half white person the father is always the white one. Yellow fever is disgusting,, how has a race been allowed to be fetishised like that ?
She's in Alberta, Canada actually and her husband is madow. She got half madow kids.
It looks like he makes enough money to financially support them and they live in a nice house.
There's pictures of her going on vacations and she also graduated from a college over there.
I mean, what's wrong with being a stay at home mom? The kids are soon to be school age any way.
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The kids are mixed and she has those raptor nails. She married a black guy.
Keep it a boqol
VIP
I think the issue is that she has no access to his money dispite being a SAHM. Islamically her money is the husbands money. He’s probably using money as a means to control her despite her already cooking and cleaning and looking after the kids.
You’re from a country in which people and I mean many rely on remittance and aid. Even the men rely on us Somali Westerners sending back money via dahabshil, Amal express you name it. That is the poverty we have back home, in which people depend on Family aboard. I have family members that my family send money to and if we and others choose not to, they wouldn’t be able to have a roof over their heads or even educate their children. Learn the difference between wants vs need.
What I find hilarious is that you position getting a spouse over the need to escape poverty. Their lives aren't stable and many need men for simple products women here take for granted.
You're from a country in which people depend on remittance and a good % are in poverty with women being forced in marriages at like 13 so that fathers have one less mouth to feed. Yet, you have the audacity to compare that to someone in the West who has their basic needs met.
I'm not underestimating the need for people to find partners because in the Somali community the vast majority who go back home are men in search of 2nd wives. they have partners already.
Positioning wants over needs will always be interesting and I find your argument to be very short-sighted.
My point can easily be backed up by the fact that huge age gaps happen back home with men that are in their 60s and 70s with 15 yr olds. How is that not due to poverty? That would hardly happen in a developed country in which women have options. oh and before you bring up Celebs, understand that they make up even less than the 0.5 of the population and even then the women are no way near that age.
Also, ask yourself why is child marriages common there? It certainly isn’t culturally enforced because Somalis with money don’t marry off their 13 yr olds, it’s due to the rampant poverty, but you want to compare that and behave as though it is equal to a man who has basic needs and the ability to jump on a flight and think about other luxuries.
I'm sorry, there are far too many conservative Somali women in the West for me to take that point seriously, especially in the light of the fact that most that do go back home do so for a second wife that is cheaper and a cheaper standard of living. Also, TikTok being common back home due to very cheap internet has exposed that being graceful isn’t limited to geography.
Everyone aims to marry up then, in terms of hypergamy I'm talking about finances and if you want to change the goal post then just know the argument you just made defeats your original point because men most certainly marry up when it comes to appearance and certainly with regards to behavior, therefore trying to position it as a woman thing is duplicitous. The idea of only women having standards is laughable.
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I’m not trying to understate the issues going on in Somalia, however you’re trying to overstate the need for somali women to marry overseas. The majority of Somalis around 2/3are not in any danger in terms of food security whether that’s from money coming from Somalia abroad or food aid.
https://www.unhcr.org/uk/news/press/2022/8/62f4c3894/million-people-displaced-drought-somalia.html
when it comes to displacement around due to drought etc, that number is around 6% which is also alarming however the majority of Somalis like I said before are poor but stable. clearly most somali women don't NEED to marry a man abroad, especially considering the ones who do get married off to the west actually come from the big cities, let’s not pretend these women can’t marry local men, they absolute can.
escaping poverty is relative, however you’re trying to make it based on some hardcore objective grounds more than you’d like to admit, is somalia poor globally? Absolute yes however within the country you’ll have poorer and richer people, but you’ll also have areas where everybody has the same level of living aka nobody is poor cause nobody is rich as long as people are living a stable life, have food and have roofs over heads which again is the majority of Somalis especially in the big cities.
they don’t NEED to escape poverty they WANT to escape their socioeconomic background because they imagine a much better life aboard.
How do you think people survived up until now if the comfort of western life is the only way to survive? We would’ve died along time ago as a species if that was the case unless you’re trying to say modern day people from Somalia have a much worse life than most of human history??? those people managed to get married and pass on their genes quite successfully, don’t know why a Xalimo has to resort to a western somali man to survive.
Please give me the percentages of somali girls being married off due to poverty and men somali marrying second wives then we’ll talk from there.
Marrying someone or having a partner isn’t a luxury, it’s actually vital to the survival of a community and connections between social relationships, you’re again just downplaying finding a partner while overplaying the struggling aspect and NEED to marry a western man in order to survive. If it was as urgent as you make it seem why do so many Somali women still marry local men???
I dont know who you’re talking to but I never said men don’t have standards, they obviously do.
you’re original point was that somali women were being groomed into being married abroad with no option but to do so cause they can’t survive in Somalia for some reason but that’s just not the case, there’s clearly an aspect of personal desire to marry into a better life, which to an large extent is a WANT not a NEED.
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