The dilemma facing millennial Somali males in the diaspora: When "Hillary is easier than Halimo"

[Near]

This post builds off a comment I made in the recent thread on Somali guys and white girls by the user TooMa'aan and I'll repost it below.

See the comment here:

I think that Somalis in the west are one of the few immigrant Muslim communities that don't really free mix between the genders. Just go to any university and you'll see big groups of Arab guys and girls socializing, and the same with South Asians. Lots of Arabs and South Asians date in uni while Somali guys and girls avoid each other like the plague unfortunately, which is when you get a perverse situation where "Hillary becomes easier than Halimo", because Hillary is the girl who you interact with at school or work everyday.

Somali youth would rather free mix with ajnabi from the opposite gender then their own for fear of community backlash, which is part of the problem. There needs to be halal ways for these youth to interact. For barely nominally Muslim Somali males, this is how they fall into the trap of ending up married to a white girl. It's a problem that will only increase with time and I don't think there's an easy solution.

Let's get some major hurdles out of the way first. I think many Somali guys (including myself) would prefer to marry an ethnic Somali girl but it seems difficult to interact with them due to it being culturally frowned upon in our community. Since in most social, academic and work settings it's virtually impossible to avoid ajnabi and cadaan women you have an adverse situation where its more likely the males are gonna marry out since it's primarily non-Somali women they are interacting with. It's none of my business what other people do with their lives of course but I think it's a net loss to our community when good educated brothers marry out as wealth is lost and women remain unmarried.

There is also the analogue of this problem where a number of sisters are also marrying out too but I believe that situation is much less nuanced since the majority of them (in my opinion) do so for superficial reasons such as to have "mixed children" and you can't really control for irrational, self hating behaviour like that (think of Asian women preferring white men to their own men). Those "Somali men are trash" BLM SJW idiots on Twitter are lost in my opinion, and we shouldn't waste valuable time and resources on trying to save them. I think the situation facing the brother's is more feasible to solve.

So what do you guys think? Am I out to lunch on these issues? Is this actually a real problem? Is there an easy halal fix for this problem? I'm especially interested to hear the Somali sisters take on this. Looking forward to engaging with you all on this topic.

- Near

 

[Apollo]

Lots of FOBs are in their 20s.. not all millennial Somalis are Westernized.

 

[McLovin]

Interestingly the fobs seem to be more open to free mixing than the qurba joog. At least that's what I observed

 

[EternalLightX]

Interestingly the fobs seem to be more open to free mixing than the qurba joog. At least that's what I observed

That's true many women and men mix, the diaspora is extreme in its nature towards gender segregation.

 

[Zayd]

I'd rather marry a FOB halimo than a halimo that talks like hillary Clinton.

Xabad yar oo heeso qaraamiga ii qaadeyso, oo sabaayad iyo suqaar ii kareyso, oo laxoox iyo muqmad ii sameneyso, oo guriga udgoonka uunsigii iyo fooxa ku shidayso, baan u rajeynaya inaan guursado.

 

[DrippinglyWet]

Most of us on this board are gen Z, millennial are reaching their early thirties.

 

[Near]

I'd rather marry a FOB halimo than a halimo that talks like hillary Clinton.

Xabad yar oo heeso qaraamiga ii qaadeyso, oo sabaayad iyo suqaar ii kareyso, oo laxoox iyo muqmad ii sameneyso, oo guriga udgoonka uunsigii iyo fooxa ku shidayso, baan u rajeynaya inaan guursado.

Most of us on this board are gen Z, millennial are reaching their early thirties.

I can rephrase it then. I meant to say single, never married Somali males in their twenties.

 

[Near]

I'd rather marry a FOB halimo than a halimo that talks like hillary Clinton.

Xabad yar oo heeso qaraamiga ii qaadeyso, oo sabaayad iyo suqaar ii kareyso, oo laxoox iyo muqmad ii sameneyso, oo guriga udgoonka uunsigii iyo fooxa ku shidayso, baan u rajeynaya inaan guursado.

This is the dream sxb.

 

[Near]

Interestingly the fobs seem to be more open to free mixing than the qurba joog. At least that's what I observed

Very true. I'd argue in a lot of ways they are more liberal than us.

 

[McLovin]

Very true. I'd argue in a lot of ways they are more liberal than us.

They have the true culture. Not this arabized crap that has been forced fed to us diaspora.

On a level its kinda sad our shukaansi culture is dying. Probably the most unique indigenous artform we have

 

[Inquisitive_]

I am totally baffled by this topic, the Somalis everywhere I have seen in Europe free mix, whether it's in colleges, universities, shiisha places etc. I would argue we free mix more then the other communities, this topic is completely out of touch with the observable realities on the ground.

 

[Near]

I am totally baffled by this topic, the Somalis everywhere I have seen in Europe free mix, whether it's in colleges, universities, shiisha places etc. I would argue we free mix more then the other communities, this topic is completely out of touch with the observable realities on the ground.

Which country in Europe? I definitely haven't seen this to be the case in Canada. Maybe it's because Somalis are more concentrated there and there are more fobs. And I never stated my observations to be universal, just basing my thoughts on what I've seen and heard from others around me.