This has most definitely been mentioned before, but I’m going to mention it too 
Sorry for the rant.
What is it with Somali parents and their habit of habaaring and mercilessly beating their children over the most minor things? They’d never talk to adults with this much venom over something trivial, why can’t they extend the same consideration and level of respect to their children? Today, I saw a young girl (about 6) spill milk over herself and her mum SLAPPED the girl across the face… like why would you even do that over spilt milk????? I asked her mum what’s up with that and she had the audacity to go, “waa wax edeb daran” and proceeded to habaar her. If she felt comfortable enough to do this in the presence of others, I wonder what she does behind closed doors.
I’ve noticed that many Somali parents equate abuse, disguised as discipline, to love. They believe that abuse is necessary to maintain respect and order, but really this only perpetuates a cycle of abuse and trauma. I wish parents put more effort into learning how to regulate their emotions instead of laying down in bed to have numerous babies.
I’m related to this lady who has 4 kids (I think I mentioned the kids before, they’re a very disrespectful bunch). And man, with the way she was raised, no wonder her children are so unruly
. Her own mother is mentally ill, was divorced, remarried multiple times and had over 10 children with different men. Her father was a great man, but he passed while she was young, leaving her and her brother to be raised by an abusive stepmother. This young girl, who was severely abused, now grew up to be a mother and believes that the only way to solve issues with her children is by either beating them into submission or pacifying them with YouTube shorts and junk food. Her children are now also fatherless because their good for nothing, loser father refuses to take care of them due to issues he has with his ex-wife. Grown ass nigga that can’t even raise his own children because his feewings were hurt 
I wish we as a community shamed men like this more often.
Anyways, now, this lady’s children come from a broken and abusive home, she came from a broken and abusive home, her mother came from a broken and abusive home, her grandmother had both of her parents, but heck, even the old lady came from an abusive home. You can’t make this shit up. I can feel how the young kids she has will turn out - they will also likely have children that come from broken and abusive homes. May Allah help them.
Another example: I know this other lady who has 5 children, all in their 20s. I saw firsthand their upbringing. They had all kinds of company coming in and out of their house, they had a drug dealer as an older brother (who later passed away), they had an absent father who contributed NOTHING, a mother who constantly talked shit about other people and said the most inappropriate things to her children. Unsurprisingly, these children then went on to be criminals, sleep around, are dead, got arrested, sold drugs, and one even burnt a building down
Their mother also comes from a broken home with divorced parents; she was raised by her siblings who weren’t much older than her. A tragic case of children raising children.
I can give more and more examples of this because it is just that pervasive. It makes me question, where do we even begin to fix this issue?
The well-being of the Somali community hinges on the well-being of Somali children. Raise your children/siblings with dignity, respect and treat them as mini-adults, so they too will know how to treat others. Stop abusing them for every little thing as a way of “discipline”. Without the abuse, even if they’re not raised with both parents, at least they won’t suffer from the trauma of being beaten. We also need to start normalising therapy to heal the hurt experienced during childhood. When parents take the time to heal themselves emotionally and attempt to practice healthier, more gentle parenting, they will 100% set a positive example for their children.
Please, every time you see abuse, call it out and recognise it as the abnormal thing it is, I feel like beating kids as a way of discipline is way too normalised in our community. Don’t beat, use your WORDS.
Sorry for the rant.What is it with Somali parents and their habit of habaaring and mercilessly beating their children over the most minor things? They’d never talk to adults with this much venom over something trivial, why can’t they extend the same consideration and level of respect to their children? Today, I saw a young girl (about 6) spill milk over herself and her mum SLAPPED the girl across the face… like why would you even do that over spilt milk????? I asked her mum what’s up with that and she had the audacity to go, “waa wax edeb daran” and proceeded to habaar her. If she felt comfortable enough to do this in the presence of others, I wonder what she does behind closed doors.
I’ve noticed that many Somali parents equate abuse, disguised as discipline, to love. They believe that abuse is necessary to maintain respect and order, but really this only perpetuates a cycle of abuse and trauma. I wish parents put more effort into learning how to regulate their emotions instead of laying down in bed to have numerous babies.
I’m related to this lady who has 4 kids (I think I mentioned the kids before, they’re a very disrespectful bunch). And man, with the way she was raised, no wonder her children are so unruly
. Her own mother is mentally ill, was divorced, remarried multiple times and had over 10 children with different men. Her father was a great man, but he passed while she was young, leaving her and her brother to be raised by an abusive stepmother. This young girl, who was severely abused, now grew up to be a mother and believes that the only way to solve issues with her children is by either beating them into submission or pacifying them with YouTube shorts and junk food. Her children are now also fatherless because their good for nothing, loser father refuses to take care of them due to issues he has with his ex-wife. Grown ass nigga that can’t even raise his own children because his feewings were hurt I wish we as a community shamed men like this more often.Anyways, now, this lady’s children come from a broken and abusive home, she came from a broken and abusive home, her mother came from a broken and abusive home, her grandmother had both of her parents, but heck, even the old lady came from an abusive home. You can’t make this shit up. I can feel how the young kids she has will turn out - they will also likely have children that come from broken and abusive homes. May Allah help them.
Another example: I know this other lady who has 5 children, all in their 20s. I saw firsthand their upbringing. They had all kinds of company coming in and out of their house, they had a drug dealer as an older brother (who later passed away), they had an absent father who contributed NOTHING, a mother who constantly talked shit about other people and said the most inappropriate things to her children. Unsurprisingly, these children then went on to be criminals, sleep around, are dead, got arrested, sold drugs, and one even burnt a building down
Their mother also comes from a broken home with divorced parents; she was raised by her siblings who weren’t much older than her. A tragic case of children raising children.I can give more and more examples of this because it is just that pervasive. It makes me question, where do we even begin to fix this issue?
The well-being of the Somali community hinges on the well-being of Somali children. Raise your children/siblings with dignity, respect and treat them as mini-adults, so they too will know how to treat others. Stop abusing them for every little thing as a way of “discipline”. Without the abuse, even if they’re not raised with both parents, at least they won’t suffer from the trauma of being beaten. We also need to start normalising therapy to heal the hurt experienced during childhood. When parents take the time to heal themselves emotionally and attempt to practice healthier, more gentle parenting, they will 100% set a positive example for their children.
Please, every time you see abuse, call it out and recognise it as the abnormal thing it is, I feel like beating kids as a way of discipline is way too normalised in our community. Don’t beat, use your WORDS.
