Someone in Sspot needs your advice. Please help!

[Gibiin-Udug]

An individual who asked me to be anonymous sent me a private message. Urging me to ask you folks a question. This individual would like to get advice from the mature members on this site.


This individual was married years ago. They went through a divorce. The main cause of the divorce was the mother in law. Their ex spouse and this individual had unbelievable chemistry. They were beyond in love but the mother in law came in between. Now good ole karma got the MIL. She has a terminal cancer. She is on her death bed. The individual wants to visit this MIL even though she made their life a living hell.
Should they visit? Or just make a dua from a distance?




Please this individual needs your advice so be mature with your advice.

 

[Zayd]

coolio....

First of may she have a speedy recovery, (amin), secondly yes he should visit the MIL because it is immature to literally live by an eye for an eye, try to understand her decisions and just let it go, find it in yourself to forgive her, and she might encourage the divorced couple to be reunited.

 

[Gibiin-Udug]

coolio....

First of may she have a speedy recovery, (amin), secondly yes he should visit the MIL because it is immature to literally live by an eye for an eye, try to understand her decisions and just let it go, find it in yourself to forgive her, and she might encourage the divorced couple to be reunited.

Plot twist


This individual is married with kids and the ex spouse is also married with kids but they still love each other!

 

[Zayd]

Plot twist


This individual is married with kids and the ex spouse is also married with kids but they still love each other!

Too late, they have responsibilities in raising those children, following their unconditional love will tear their children's heart's apart.

 

[Gambit]

Plot twist


This individual is married with kids and the ex spouse is also married with kids but they still love each other!

If they have kids they shouldn't be getting back together or even talking. They have new families and new partners that they should be prioritising instead.

 

[Hafez]

No, they shouldn't visit.

 

[Gibiin-Udug]

Too late, they have responsibilities in raising those children, following their unconditional love will tear their children's heart's apart.

If they have kids they shouldn't be getting back together or even talking. They have new families and new partners that they should be prioritising instead.

Should they still visit the ex mother in law even though she is the reason why their love is no longer blossoming!

No, they shouldn't visit.

Interesting. Can you explain your answer?

 

[Hafez]

Should they still visit the ex mother in law even though she is the reason why their love is no longer blossoming!



Interesting. Can you explain your answer?

The reason why the mother in law interfered with their relationship could be that she doesn't like the person their child was married to. Ask the person, is the MIL behaving the same way with their child's new spouse? Hence no benefit will be derived by either party from this visit because their ex mother in law doesn't like them. If it turns out that the ex mother in law changes their mind about this person (I.e. Starts liking this person), then this person might become more attached to their ex spouse which is inappropriate as they are both in a marriage. If the person is a male, then he cannot take back his ex spouse as a second wife anyway since she's married. If the person is female, they have no chance at getting back with this person.

The person should not of been talking to their ex spouse in the first place as this is against Islam. They have feelings for each other which makes it even worse. Perhaps they would of moved on if they stopped contacting each other. They should not ruin the new relationships they are in.

 

[menace]

Plot twist


This individual is married with kids and the ex spouse is also married with kids but they still love each other!

Legitimate kids or illegitimate ones in the guy's part

 

[Gambit]

Should they still visit the ex mother in law even though she is the reason why their love is no longer blossoming!



Interesting. Can you explain your answer?

It's our duty to visit the sick but in this case no

 

[Zuleikha]

Forgiveness is a must in Islam so he/she should visit the ex mother in law secretly and forgive her without involving the ex spouse.

 

[Hafez]

Forgiveness is a must in Islam so he/she should visit the ex mother in law secretly and forgive her without involving the ex spouse.

You are too emotional. Put emotions aside. The MIL probably forgot about the person. You can forgive someone without visiting them, you can ask Allah to forgive them and give them all goodness. If the person is a male, then the ex MIL is not a Muharram for him anymore. The only thing this person would be doing is interfering in other people's relationships. Whether the ex MIL approves of this person or not, it's a loss both ways for if she approves of this person, this will increase the person's emotional attachment to their ex spouse (who is married, in a new relationship). The are many more reasons but I'll leave it at this.

You need to look at the bigger picture.

 

[menace]

I'd say avoid them..do you dua from afar..in many cases of Somali divorces, many hurtful things were said and it's not salvageable ...

Maybe go to the jinaza if you're still alive , ileen bukaan does not guarantee you'll out live her

 

[Figo]

Pray for her from the side. You don't wanna cause more trouble by visiting her.

 

[menace]

Pray for her from the sides. You don't wanna cause more trouble.

Ninyajow sometimes leedh bad iska dhigtaa while other times your proper

 

[Figo]

Ninyajow sometimes leedh bad iska dhigtaa while other times your proper

You're upgraded from being a neef adeer.

 

[menace]

You're upgraded from being a neef adeer.

To what ? Ma to a leedh?

 

[waraabe]

To what ? Ma to a leedh?

Neef to a xoolo siilaanyolaugh

 

[Figo]

To what ? Ma to a leedh?

My fault I meant down graded. Ninyow neefka way ku dhamaan waxaad tahay alwaax.

 

[Duchess]

I feel like the person is using this as an excuse to reenter their ex's life. It's not necessary to visit your ex-MIL. You can make dua for her without physically visiting her, but clearly this individual is hoping to bump into their ex and reconnect with them, which would be disastrous considering that they love each other but are married to other people.