Somali parents are failing their sons in the uk/canaada/west

Someone posted here an 18 year old young man was murdered and 5+ men were charged with murder. We are having a community crisis and almost nothing is being done to stop this. A dysfunctional home and living in counsel housing is making these boys turn to the streets. I don't care if people get mad at me for saying this, BUT RAISE YOUR SONS BETTER AND STOP TAKING GOVERNMENT MONEY AND WORK HARD TO GET YOUR FAMILY OUT OF THESE NEIGHBOURHOODS!
 
Someone posted here an 18 year old young man was murdered and 5+ men were charged with murder. We are having a community crisis and almost nothing is being done to stop this. A dysfunctional home and living in counsel housing is making these boys turn to the streets. I don't care if people get mad at me for saying this, BUT RAISE YOUR SONS BETTER AND STOP TAKING GOVERNMENT MONEY AND WORK HARD TO GET YOUR FAMILY OUT OF THESE NEIGHBOURHOODS!
It is really bad. Honestly, am immune now my brother is in jail as we speak but honestly my mother did the best she can as a single mother. Idk what to say about my other siblings since they live in Djibouti with mother. Maybe they would’ve turn to the life of crime or maybe not. Idk I feel like there’s no balance in our community. Not enough men that help their family so they can work together to stay out of the hood. I used to work at Tim Horton’s and I would see the same brown people working there as couple while living in a brand new bough house. Maybe its the fact hey work together but Somalis are toxic and have narcissistic behaviour instead of working with you they would rather work against you.
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

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Somali parents do need to work better as partners and make sure their children are at extra-curricular activities or extra tuition after school hours. Stop letting your sons spend time outside without supervision, there is only trouble on the streets.

When they reach 18, let them do what they want, but hopefully by that time, they will have their own hobbies and jobs.

Anyone who lets their child 'play football/basketball with friends' or 'hang around with friends' without being there to supervise, is asking for trouble.

* I'm not referring to this case, but Somalis in general.
 
It is really bad. Honestly, am immune now my brother is in jail as we speak but honestly my mother did the best she can as a single mother. Idk what to say about my other siblings since they live in Djibouti with mother. Maybe they would’ve turn to the life of crime or maybe not. Idk I feel like there’s no balance in our community. Not enough men that help their family so they can work together to stay out of the hood. I used to work at Tim Horton’s and I would see the same brown people working there as couple while living in a brand new bough house. Maybe its the fact hey work together but Somalis are toxic and have narcissistic behaviour instead of working with you they would rather work against you.
I'm sorry sis about your brother and I hope he sincerely turns his life around once he is out. I'm not saying all of it is on the fault of the parents. Relative poverty and being immigrants/refugees brings about a lot of stressors, but accountability is needed. We never take accountability for the issues in our community. There is no reason why a 17/18 year old somali man was murdered by 7 ajanabis. This violence is getting out of control. If a somali father is not being responsible enough and watching what his kids are doing they are more likely to become drug addicts, ciyaal suuqs and become friends with other street kids. Exactly, I know it's not fair to compare our communities to others, but other ethnic groups that are immigrants are excelling far greater than us. I've seen Syrian refugees open businesses in a span of 3-5 years or graduating from universities. We need to stop taking government lacaag, and build generational wealth for our future kids.
 
Somali parents do need to work better as partners and make sure their children are at extra-curricular activities or extra tuition after school hours. Stop letting your sons spend time outside without supervision, there is only trouble on the streets.

When they reach 18, let them do what they want, but hopefully by that time, they will have their own hobbies and jobs.

Anyone who lets their child 'play football/basketball with friends' or 'hang around with friends' without being there to supervise, is asking for trouble.

* I'm not referring to this case, but Somalis in general.
A somali woman cannot raise a man period. Idc what the feminists will say. There are community resources available like drop-in basketball, soccer. We live under liberal govs. where many programs are free of charge to low-income families. It goes one ear out the other for Somalis when you tell them these things. They don't want to put more effort and go the extra mile to make a better life for their kids.
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

💙☆💚
VIP
A somali woman cannot raise a man period. Idc what the feminists will say. There are community resources available like drop-in basketball, soccer. We live under liberal govs. where many programs are free of charge to low-income families. It goes one ear out the other for Somalis when you tell them these things. They don't want to put more effort and go the extra mile to make a better life for their kids.

For sure. You need an active mother AND father to raise well-rounded children.

There are no programs for low-income families in countries like the UK. The conservatives are in charge and they cut funding. This means Somali parents need to pay for extracurricular activities, or even take their children to parks themselves.

Full-time hands on parenting is needed.
 
By the third grade, you'll know whether a kid is headed towards higher education or a federal institution. Those standardized test scores determine whether the government will build a university/college or a prison in your community.
 
After 18 you are not a kid in the U.K so don’t blame his parents I doubt his other siblings are participating in this activity. He chose that fast money lifestyle and that’s what comes with it.

living in counsel housing is making these boys turn to the streets.
Don’t blame free housing, plenty of Somali guys in Toronto, London, Minneapolis, columbus, and Seattle grew up in public housing took advantage of there opportunity’s, went to school, got an education, and then job/trade/ or started a business.

Do not stress over what some hood rats just because you share a ethnicity with them, because natural selection occurs like it always does.

I’ve actually saw this before I think from @AbdiGaalDoon somalis in the diaspora will fall into 3 groups based on class.

1. A top 20% middle to upper middle class who made it.

2. An in between 50% struggling/poverty/working class.

3. An absolute degenerate bottom 30% (heroin/crack abusers, gangsters, ghetto baby mamas)
 
I think about this all the time. The amount of people I know who have lost a son to gang violence or their son is in jail. We need to stop using the excuse of “low income areas” because I know Syrian refugees who are doing well that live in the ghetto. I see the same pattern of gang violence in Sweden/Canada/U.K. etc ! Somali dads need to step it up and start being in their sons life!
 
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I think about this all the time. The amount of people I know who have lost a son to gang violence or their son is in jail. We need to stop using the excuse of “low income areas” because I know Syrian refugees who are doing well that live in the ghetto. I see the same pattern of gang violence in Sweden/Canada/U.K. etc ! Somali dads need to step it up and start being in their sons life!
deadass and some of the smalis commenting on this post are proving our points. Just because some faraxs and xalimos graduated from uni and are doing well does not mean people in our community aren't struggling. They need supports.
 
I don't want to make this into a gender issue, but the reality is that young boys really need a strong father figure to show them the ropes. A lot of Somali mothers struggle to control their teenage sons and tbh that is to be expected because boys at 13+ need authority and discipline from a fellow older male to set them staight.

Some of these kids have emotionally unavailable abos, dads who seem to think that once the kids become teens he now has the freedom to disappear and use the remainder of his money and time to marry another woman. I find it sad, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of team work when it comes to older Somali couples. A lot of traditional qualities you expect from a married couple seem to be absent.
Many guys on here will try to argue against this point, but deep down they know what's happening. Don't allow your ego to blind you. I just hope the next generation does better.
 
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A somali woman cannot raise a man period. Idc what the feminists will say. There are community resources available like drop-in basketball, soccer. We live under liberal govs. where many programs are free of charge to low-income families. It goes one ear out the other for Somalis when you tell them these things. They don't want to put more effort and go the extra mile to make a better life for their kids.

How can Somali mothers make effort when they're juggling cooking for 6-8 kids, cleaning a house with 6- 8 over active kids, school run, dugsi ect. We need to start shaming men who do shit all in their marriages. Because its normal for the mother to be the jack of all trades in the Somali community and that is impossible. We have far too many kids in one family with little community help like back home for this to be sustainable.
 
deadass and some of the smalis commenting on this post are proving our points. Just because some faraxs and xalimos graduated from uni and are doing well does not mean people in our community aren't struggling. They need supports.
I have heard countless times from Somali dads say « I don’t care let the mom raise them; Ofcourse in Somali ». Hunno, am starting to believe that Somali men don’t care for their children and don’t really value family. If you value family you will see your family as your legacy and an extension of yourself but Somali men don’t care it’s scary to think you can become a single mother. It put me off Somali men soooo much it’s crazy. Also, when they divorce the women they divorce the kids! But the Somali community is soo broken that they family or the men in our community wouldn’t even shame this type of behaviour!!! So idk, being Somali is hard sometimes damn
 
I have heard countless times from Somali dads say « I don’t care let the mom raise them; Ofcourse in Somali ». Hunno, am starting to believe that Somali men don’t care for their children and don’t really value family. If you value family you will see your family as your legacy and an extension of yourself but Somali men don’t care it’s scary to think you can become a single mother. It put me off Somali men soooo much it’s crazy. Also, when they divorce the women they divorce the kids! But the Somali community is soo broken that they family or the men in our community wouldn’t even shame this type of behaviour!!! So idk, being Somali is hard sometimes damn

Sis, divorce isn't even the only issue. Even within marriages, being complacent and practicing polygamy incorrectly is rife. Many of these men don't have the time or resources, but will leave the kids in a hostile poverty ridden area at an age (teenage years) when kids need their dads guidance more. These are the same men and their supporters who will parrot on about family values, deen and daqan. I've come to realise that deen and daqan for them is mostly based on what benefits their nafs above all else. Sadly, I think this is something that may contine as the younger generation of boys make excuses for such behavior, despite being the ones effected by it the most.
 

Pwyneth Galtrow

💙☆💚
VIP
Sis, divorce isn't even the only issue. Even within marriages, being complacent and practicing polygamy incorrectly is rife. Many of these men don't have the time or resources, but will leave the kids in a hostile poverty ridden area at an age (teenage years) when kids need their dads guidance more. These are the same men and their supporters who will parrot on about family values, deen and daqan. I've come to realise that deen and daqan for them is mostly based on what benefits their nafs above all else. Sadly, I think this is something that may contine as the younger generation of boys make excuses for such behavior, despite being the ones effected by it the most.

There are fathers who are only present in body, but not mind and certainly not action.

I once read about 'strategic incompetence' and it's so true. A lot of men pretend to not know how to do basic household chores so they can get away with it. They also pretend to be stupid when it comes to child-rearing, simple things like administering medicine and vitamins to their babies. This means the mother is overstretched at home and has to do basically everything.

I hope the generations of young Somali women who are marrying now, make sure to vet their husbands properly and if they notice a lazy streak, try to cut the number of children or just leave. This world has enough issues, no need to end up with another child at home who claims he is your husband.
 
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