Question for the faraaxs: how do you feel about this saying?

That is a sentence men use to fool women into not investing in their future. His money isn’t yours as if he divorces you, you’ll not get a penny. A woman can be married to a man for 40 yrs, cook, clean, look after his home and if a divorce happens, the house you’ve been maintaining all of these years will not be seen as something you have a share of. Marrying a man does not give women in Islamic law any sort of security as he can talaq you and overnight the years you put into making the house a home will not be counted.

Moral of the story, make sure you have your own savings, make sure to make sure your husband puts the house in your name as well. Many selfish men will have an issue with that, but how can you expect a woman to cook, look after, invest, put her money into a house she has no future in? You can decide to divorce her and she’ll be homeless overnight?
Yes, you might as well give the construction workers who built the home a share as well, and if you have a maid or nanny, then their name should be on the deed too.

Absolutely ridiculous.
 
Nothing particularly wrong about that statement. Although it's kind of annoying when people eagerly talk about the deen and pull up hadiths only when it benefits them in some way.
 

Yaraye

VIP
It's the only thing those new generation girls know in Islam, that ur husband has to provide for you, that and the story of the prostitute who gave milk to a cat and went to heaven.
there's such a story? :ayaanswag:Do tell, I'm curious:stevej:
 

Yaraye

VIP
I'm praying fajr then going to sleep if someone hasn't said the story by then and I live to come back on to sspot some time later on and I remember then I'll tell you but right now naaa
oh its fajr for you? just came back from taraaweex :pachah1:
 

iskufilann

inactive.
oh its fajr for you? just came back from taraaweex :pachah1:
Yup it is. Basically it was this woman, who was a prostitiute and on a hot day she saw a dog walking around the well as it was thirsty. Then, she took off her shoe, filled it with water and gave it to the dog. By doing this, she was forgiven and all her sins were wiped away.
 
was the dog about to die of thirst or something? and why did the cat woman go to hell? :jaynerd:
The cat woman was a worshipping lady. She adopted a cat and locked it in a room. She didn't feed it and she used to beat it until it died. So she was sent to hell for that since she took the cat under her care and responsibility but didn't care for it neither did she leave it to it's own fate were it would be provided for in the wilderness
 
When a woman you’re marrying says “your money is also my money, but my money is my money”

Because I notice men hateeee being told this, even Muslim men. How do you feel? Are you in agreement, or no?
This statement is dependent on the roles my future wife and I would have. If for example, I have a housewife and she does a little side hustle to get extra money, then that's her money because I would definitely have way more money than that and can be the breadwinner. If she's also a career oriented person, then the domestic and financial obligations should be shared. In such a scenario, we'd have our own accounts and a family joint account for financial situations. Of course, if I strike it rich and end up with a beautiful wife, then money is naturally of no consequence. I wouldn't probably think about her earnings at all.
 
Yes, you might as well give the construction workers who built the home a share as well, and if you have a maid or nanny, then their name should be on the deed too.

Absolutely ridiculous.
You’ve fell into my trap.


Yes, the construction worker shares a life with you, cooks, cleans, tutors, invests money in, births your kids, nurtures, allows you the ability to make money and accumulate wealth and the list goes on. Wives are no different to workers who maintain homes, yet she’s not compensated the way a maid, tutor, chef and the list goes on is compensated and to make it worse the housewife after years of providing those services has 0 financial protection. So you are you admitting to exploitation? You can’t have it both ways. If the wife is merely providing a service, why isn’t she paid or compensated that way? Or is she a partner that is doing all of this because it’s her home as well? What is it walal?

Also, maids, nannies, chefs, tutors ect have more rights, as they have a contract and monthly payment and they’re not expected to look at the house they work in as their own home. They also only have one role. Also, it’s a temporary arrangement and they’re only meant to do their job description, rather than going above and beyond under the false guise of ‘building a family home together’.

Also, to make things worse women contribute financially to their husbands home as they look it at as theirs because they share the space with him, but when push comes to shove they’re told
They have nothing to do with the home and are left with 0 financial security, hence they’re even lower than maids, cooks, nannies ect as maids don’t add their own wealth to a home the way wives do, nor do they invest. Religious women in the West are told conflicting things. Be charitable like it’s a Western style partnership, so if husband needs financial help, they should contribute, but don’t make any claims if the marriage ends because it’s not a partnership but a transaction, like that of a maid, tutor, chef ect. So, you want women to behave like it’s a partnership, but act like it’s nothing but a transaction when it benefits you?

You’re not building a family home with a woman, she’s merely building your home and if she’s going to waste years and years on something that she can easily get kicked out of, you need to compensate her, similar to how jobs have protections for their workers since Hey, we are the same as the cook, maid, tutor and the list goes on. Your house doesn’t benefit her in the slightest. Therefore women should make sure they work and or get their husbands to pay towards their savings/pensions. Yet selfish men even have issues with that.

A lot of classical scholars believed a woman doesn’t have to cook and clean ect, not help their husbands financially, but marriages aren’t like that anymore. Also, historically, women lived with their qabil/family in the area to fall back on. Somalis mostly lived in areesh built by wives so all of this was a non issue for our ancestors.
 
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You’ve fell into my trap.


Yes, the construction worker shares a life with you, cooks, cleans, tutors, invests money in, births your kids, nurtures, allows you the ability to make money and accumulate wealth and the list goes on. Wives are no different to workers who maintain homes, yet she’s not compensated the way a maid, tutor, chef and the list goes on is compensated and to make it worse the housewife after years of providing those services has 0 financial protection. So you are you admitting to exploitation? You can’t have it both ways. If the wife is merely providing a service, why isn’t she paid or compensated that way? Or is she a partner that is doing all of this because it’s her home as well? What is it walal?

Also, maids, nannies, chefs, tutors ect have more rights, as they have a contract and monthly payment and they’re not expected to look at the house they work in as their own home. They also only have one role. Also, it’s a temporary arrangement and they’re only meant to do their job description, rather than going above and beyond under the false guise of ‘building a family home together’.

Also, to make things worse women contribute financially to their husbands home as they look it at as theirs because they share the space with him, but when push comes to shove they’re told
They have nothing to do with the home and are left with 0 financial security, hence they’re even lower than maids, cooks, nannies ect as maids don’t add their own wealth to a home the way wives do, nor do they invest. Religious women in the West are told conflicting things. Be charitable like it’s a Western style partnership, so if husband needs financial help, they should contribute, but don’t make any claims if the marriage ends because it’s not a partnership but a transaction, like that of a maid, tutor, chef ect. So, you want women to behave like it’s a partnership, but act like it’s nothing but a transaction when it benefits you?

You’re not building a family home with a woman, she’s merely building your home and if she’s going to waste years and years on something that she can easily get kicked out of, you need to compensate her, similar to how jobs have protections for their workers since Hey, we are the same as the cook, maid, tutor and the list goes on. Your house doesn’t benefit her in the slightest. Therefore women should make sure they work and or get their husbands to pay towards their savings/pensions. Yet selfish men even have issues with that.

A lot of classical scholars believed a woman doesn’t have to cook and clean ect, not help their husbands financially, but marriages aren’t like that anymore. Also, historically, women lived with their qabil/family in the area to fall back on. Somalis mostly lived in areesh built by wives so all of this was a non issue for our ancestors.
She gets to live in the house for free and in return she does cooking and chores in it, that arrangement should be modern women. If modern muslim women wants rights to the house then they contribute 50/50.

But traditional women from Somalia or another traditional country should have half the house written in her name as well they should be given more of a stake of the man's money because they are miskeen and vulnerable. Traditional women should not have any financial responsibility at all and should have a much larger mehr given to them.
 
To the op's question it depends if she traditional or modern.

If she's traditional like a man married her in Somalia or another traditional country and (she didn't have equal opportunities or education) moved her into the country he's living in, then yes his money is both of theirs and her money is hers.

If she's modern like growing up in a country where females have the same equal opportunity as males, then no his money only belongs to him and her money belongs to her.
 
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She gets to live in the house for free and in return she does cooking and chores in it, that arrangement should be modern women. If modern muslim women wants rights to the house then they contribute 50/50.
Slaves get food and boarding in return for cooking and chores. Are you okay? A maid or nanny gets food, boarding, days off and is paid with a pension scheme. thanks again for proving my point. What an absolute joke.

You modern men shouldn’t lie and say you value wives and mothers, because a maid has more rights than the mother of your children in your eyes.

Don’t lie and say you’re building a family with a woman when you merely want her to build your home in which she has no stake in. Why should she bother looking after it, what free accommodation and food?


But traditional women from Somalia or another traditional country should have half the house written in her name as well they should be given more of a stake of the man's money because they are miskeen and vulnerable. Traditional women should not have any financial responsibility at all and should have a much larger mehr given to them.
But they don’t though and that’s the point of my post. At least you understand where I’m coming from. They are offered no such protection.

.
 
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To the op's question it depends if she traditional or modern.

If she's traditional like a man married her in Somalia or another traditional country and moved her into the country he's living in, then yes his money is both of theirs and her money is hers.

If she's modern like growing up in a country where females have the same equal opportunity as males, then no his money only belongs to him and her money belongs to her.
That isn’t fair and it depends on the arrangement. There is no difference between the efforts of a traditional woman in Somali and a tradition woman in the West. If they are both housewives, they are both putting in the same work and thus deserve to be compensated.

Also, Islamically you’re meant to provide for your wife, whether it’s East or West.

Is a woman in the West still not cooking, cleaning, birthing, going through all the pains for of motherhood?
 

Shaygoosh

Dadkaan ahay waa Duriyad Saare iyo Dawolad! 👑
When a woman you’re marrying says “your money is also my money, but my money is my money”

Because I notice men hateeee being told this, even Muslim men. How do you feel? Are you in agreement, or no?

Bruv imika ay igu tiraahdo hadalkaas guriga reerkeeda ayaan ku dajin lahaa saddeexdeeda weyga helee iyo nacaskaas camal ilaahay haku sahlow baan ku oran lahaa inta boorsadeeda u dajiiyo. My final words would be see you tomorrow when I get paid 🤦🏽‍♂️

Your wife is your life bruv anything she asks for just hand it over and let it be that. If you can’t trust her to be reasonable with your money that’s your problem. I can’t imagine marrying a foolish naag oo careless moneygeena la eh.
 
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