Question for the faraaxs: how do you feel about this saying?

JackieBurkhart

The years don't matter, the life in those years do
I already stated my stance here you would have know my position and take if you read it
That was a compliment, not an insult. You don't get trolled easily is what I was saying.

Nervous Hands Up GIF by One Chicago
 
people don't act irl the same way they act on here :stopit:
Wallahi you’d be surprised! I’m not talking about people here specifically, but people in general.
Few years ago, I had a dinner with my colleagues (I was a teacher then) and there was one of women I worked with that would talk down to the server without a second thought. The same evening, the same dumb b1tch spazzed out on a busboy (guy who goes around lounge picks up empty bottles and glasses) because she wanted to finish the ice cubes.
Mind you this is a middle school teacher that is her early 30’s. You’d expect her to have basic decent etiquette, but no, she was no different than the calibeysten hobos I’d see in Edmonton cussing ppl out that don’t give them change or a cigarette :kodaksmiley:
 

El Nino

Cabsi cabsi
VIP
She can have my damn kidney if she can cook tasty bariis iyo hilib and canjeero iyo maeaq. This is my only must requirement.
 
How normal people get married:

- At school, randomly assigned partners for a project.

- Develop liking for each over the month. Date for 2 years. Would take a bullet for each other. Complete each other's sentences.

- Get married and have kids and die old. They are buried next to each other 60 years later.

How Somalis get married:

- Ignore each other until hooyo starts harassing them to find a spouse when they are in their late 20s.

- Get hooyo/friend to get a match for them or join an app to find a guy.

- It feels like a job interview on the first date. Neither or one is not really interested. "Will you be a traditional wife?" and "My money is my money and your money is my money"

- Wedding is demanded within 1-2 months without them knowing each others values and principles and have nothing in common.

- Lady is happy to be married so she can flex and the guy is happy to have sex. Honeymoon period is like ecstasy.

- Chaos after a few weeks and months occurs. She doesn't cook and he doesn't like being around. It may extend for a year or two year. One or both are crazy. They of course don't love each other and they get divorced, probably with a kid or two.

- Lady demands her money he never paid and the guy agrees to a payment plan but reneges.

- Broken household. Repeat cycle for their children as they don't know what a stable household looks like.

:russ:
Do you think gaalo and ajnabi don’t have disastrous marriages themselves? High divorce rates and toxic marriages are a widespread problem although there are certain marital problems that are more common in the Somali community and ajnabi communities have their own unique marital problems as well.

Personally I think a big issue is that people are using social media too much as a guide on how to conduct their relationships. Women are watching all the divorce anecdotes on Youtube then listening to city girls talking about “f*ck love get money” and men are watching manosphere podcasts where women openly admit to using men for their own gain while being encouraged to use women’s bodies and dump her for the next, and all that is damaging to the psyche and leaves an impression. So men and women then go out into the world thinking everyone they date and consider for marriage is out to get them and ruin their life. They go into marriages wanting maximum benefits while putting in minimum effort. While having no trust in their partner. It’s all power struggles and fragile egos.

You need to have a bit of blind faith and trust to enter into a marriage and make it work. You can’t always be operating from a mindset of fear thinking your spouse is gonna screw you over and then be quick to leave at the smallest problem. Just my two cents
 

AbdiFreedom

#Pierre4PM/End Mass Immigration to 🇨🇦 #DefundUN
Staff Member
Do you think gaalo and ajnabi don’t have disastrous marriages themselves? High divorce rates and toxic marriages are a widespread problem although there are certain marital problems that are more common in the Somali community and ajnabi communities have their own unique marital problems as well.

Personally I think a big issue is that people are using social media too much as a guide on how to conduct their relationships. Women are watching all the divorce anecdotes on Youtube then listening to city girls talking about “f*ck love get money” and men are watching manosphere podcasts where women openly admit to using men for their own gain while being encouraged to use women’s bodies and dump her for the next, and all that is damaging to the psyche and leaves an impression. So men and women then go out into the world thinking everyone they date and consider for marriage is out to get them and ruin their life. They go into marriages wanting maximum benefits while putting in minimum effort. While having no trust in their partner. It’s all power struggles and fragile egos.

You need to have a bit of blind faith and trust to enter into a marriage and make it work. You can’t always be operating from a mindset of fear thinking your spouse is gonna screw you over and then be quick to leave at the smallest problem. Just my two cents

Gaalo and ajnabi don't have divorce rates anywhere near as high as Somalis and they usually divorce after decades, not months or 1 year like Somalis. They actually married for love and the marriage broke down because either couldn't handle their urges or the woman fell out of love due to being bored.

Only bad, selfish people get divorced anyway (at least one person is a bad, selfish person). Good people don't get divorced.

Somalis today are not capable of love and it's because they come from broken households. It's so obvious. Most Somalis shouldn't be married. Many have no emotions except negative ones. It's hard to fall in love at a certain age anyway and Somalis like many here refuse to love because of trauma. Their bodies reject it. If gaalo see the way Somalis court each other, they'd be shocked. It's a job interview and full of demands.
 

AbdiFreedom

#Pierre4PM/End Mass Immigration to 🇨🇦 #DefundUN
Staff Member
I hate to say this but if her/his parents are divorced or came from a loveless/chaotic household, don't marry her if she's 25 and older and don't marry him if he's 30 and older if they haven't gone through therapy before they reached that age. Most will have too much unresolved trauma. His heart will be a permanent rock at 30 and she'll have permanent abandonment fears/issues by 25. They don't know what a normal marriage is supposed to be like.

All the divorces in the community are from people from divorced/loveless/chaotic homes.

Somalis don't like to hear the truth because it's offensive but someone has to tell them the truth.
 
I hate to say this but if her/his parents are divorced or came from a loveless/chaotic household, don't marry her if she's 25 and older and don't marry him if he's 30 and older if they haven't gone through therapy before they reached that age. Most will have too much unresolved trauma. His heart will be a permanent rock at 30 and she'll have permanent abandonment fears/issues by 25.

All the divorces in the community are from people from divorced/loveless/chaotic homes.

If you come from a non-chaotic/two parent household, only look for a spouse from the same OR if they have gone through comprehensive therapy before those ages.

Somalis don't like to hear the truth because it's offensive but someone has to tell them the truth.
You seem like you know what you are talking about my current must-list is comes from suburbs, non-broken home, two-parent household, against interracial marriage/siblings also haven't married out, not the oldest sibling (this is a big one), hijabi, miskeen/soft spoken, kind, not a girl-boss. That's about it so far what else should I be aware of

:yousmart:
 

Internet Nomad

𝑮𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔
VIP
I detest the stereotypical Muslim feminist. She would want both feminist and Islamic rights, after all. She would say things like "Your money is my money" and "We should have a 50/50 say in family matters." Such a woman is nothing more than a leach.

You can choose between feminist rights or Islamic rights, each with its own responsibilities. For instance, an Islamic marriage would give me the responsibility to provide for the family while simultaneously giving me a managerial role. However, if she decides to go the feminist route, that's fine; we'll split the costs equally. She'd have to work and do the same household chores as I do.

If she choses both then it will only be drain on the marriage.
 

Yaraye

VIP
You seem like you know what you are talking about my current must-list is comes from suburbs, non-broken home, two-parent household, against interracial marriage/siblings also haven't married out, not the oldest sibling (this is a big one), hijabi, miskeen/soft spoken, kind, not a girl-boss. That's about it so far what else should I be aware of

:yousmart:
the 2-parent household just halved your pool looooooool!:dead:
 
This is quite simple. Let us frame it this way:

a) In Islam, it is very clear: From A - Z, the husband is responsible for the household, wife, and their progeny, however if both husband and wife are working, then an arrangement could be worked out, and agreed upon, where according to some Ulummaa, a contractual agreement might be necessary; for a healthy marriage, and strong family, built upon '3aqidah' & 'thiqah', it is recommended for the husband to shoulder family responsibilities despite the wife's financial position.

b) In liberalism, it is up to the couple to decide as to how best configure their partnership, and it would make more sense to partner up on equal footing, as its doctrine dictate.
 

AbdiFreedom

#Pierre4PM/End Mass Immigration to 🇨🇦 #DefundUN
Staff Member
You seem like you know what you are talking about my current must-list is comes from suburbs, non-broken home, two-parent household, against interracial marriage/siblings also haven't married out, not the oldest sibling (this is a big one), hijabi, miskeen/soft spoken, kind, not a girl-boss. That's about it so far what else should I be aware of

:yousmart:
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Aegon

The Conqueror, King of all Westeros
It's the only thing those new generation girls know in Islam, that ur husband has to provide for you, that and the story of the prostitute who gave milk to a cat and went to heaven.
 

𝕃𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕙

ωαтєя αℓωαуѕ ƒℓσωѕ 🌊
That' s simply not my type.
When it comes to courting I have had a hard time finding potentials because my standards are so low hardly any woman can reach them. For instance in finance I would like a wife who is as content of being poor as I want to be. So this whole saying is irrelevant to my situation.
 
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