greenvegetables
halal and earthy
I really just need somewhere anon to vent hehe. Earlier this year I began to be very serious about the deen and immersed myself into a more Islamic lifestyle even online. I was binge watching videos about people who've studied overseas as it's something I've considered. Mash'Allah I discovered a revert brother from the US who was very very serious about the religion and studying at the Islamic University of Madinah. What amazed me is that he spoke with such conviction and was tasteful in his speech and had a very motivated vibe about him which I can relate to for reasons of my own. Anyways I'm on Facebook one day a few months ago and lo and behold he's in my recommended; without thinking much about it I added him (btw since then I have removed all men off my friends list and only follow a few). A few days or weeks into us following each other he sees me giving some Islamic speech or something on my story and messages me. Ya Allah I feel all corny and smiley reflecting on it. It's too cringe for me to reread the messages lol but basically he expressed that he was maybe interested in marriage. As you can imagine I was caught off guard
I didn't even know he was on my radar and never considered him as an option
Anyways I sent the last message in our conversation which he didn't read. I was a little worried no lie because I wanted things to go well. A few days later I sent another text which he also didn't reply to so
Outside of small interactions we've had, I decided to move on incase he didn't actually like me. Which really messed me up because I got my hopes up and really really liked him. (Sidenote: I have a few theories as to why this may or may not have worked out on his part that aren't related to me.)
Anyways he seems to be in a new era or phase in his life and making growth. I haven't been able to forget him despite telling myself to move on. It's just that wall'Allah he's so amazing. He's so much of what I want and need
I recently had such a vivid, intense dream about him (rated PG) that this has to be coming from my soul and not something bad like horniness from Shaitan or sumn authoobillah.
I'll be fasting and praying istikhara when I'm done with my menses. After meditating on this I want to know if I should try to initiate contact again. I see us together and want this to work. If he ignores me or tells me he's no longer interested I'll just cry and go about my business and stay single forever
/rant over
I didn't even know he was on my radar and never considered him as an option
Anyways I sent the last message in our conversation which he didn't read. I was a little worried no lie because I wanted things to go well. A few days later I sent another text which he also didn't reply to soOutside of small interactions we've had, I decided to move on incase he didn't actually like me. Which really messed me up because I got my hopes up and really really liked him. (Sidenote: I have a few theories as to why this may or may not have worked out on his part that aren't related to me.)
Anyways he seems to be in a new era or phase in his life and making growth. I haven't been able to forget him despite telling myself to move on. It's just that wall'Allah he's so amazing. He's so much of what I want and need
I recently had such a vivid, intense dream about him (rated PG) that this has to be coming from my soul and not something bad like horniness from Shaitan or sumn authoobillah.
I'll be fasting and praying istikhara when I'm done with my menses. After meditating on this I want to know if I should try to initiate contact again. I see us together and want this to work. If he ignores me or tells me he's no longer interested I'll just cry and go about my business and stay single forever
/rant over
I'm only going to try this once more since it's weighing so heavy on me. Allah subhanahuwataala is the best of Planners so I won't fight if it doesn't go how I want. Insha'Allah things will pass smoothly.
like at all. It was just random that I knew of him. And I'm not denying that I'm interested because of his knowledge and also his residency which would mean I could study in the women's department. At any rate all other brothers who've approached me or I've been around are scum and/or annoying. This is the only one I've ever had serious interest in so I hope it works out Insha'Allah
allahuma ameen
