Marriage

[SOULSEARCHING]

My mum said she had 4 of my siblings and me when she was 22 , and I'm nearly that age and I have no man or kids, than my mother along that line said you're a grandma by the age of 24


I feel sad now looool

I don't know what's wrong with me I'm scared of everything..
Maybe I should face my fears and go on a date with some Somali guy and give them a chance

 

[Aliobaba]

Lovehabibi.com

 

[Sophisticate]

Will getting married in your early 20s be a wise decision if it's motivated by fear and outside pressure rather than a well thought out decision, made of your own voilition?

 

[Inquisitive_]

Will getting married in your early 20s be a wise decision if it's motivated by fear and outside pressure rather than a well thought out decision, made of your own voilition?

She is better off then the vast majority of careerist quasi feminist that shun early marriage at the prime of their life in favour of becoming slaves to a cooperation.

Then when they hit there late 20's or early 30's with nothing to show for it in terms of assets or finances for there stupid unislamic decisions panic sets in and they end up either alone and resentful, or get hooked with the lowest of the low since that's the only options that are available to them.

My mum said she had 4 of my siblings and me when she was 22 , and I'm nearly that age and I have no man or kids, than my mother along that line said you're a grandma by the age of 24
I feel sad now looool
I don't know what's wrong with me I'm scared of everything..
Maybe I should face my fears and go on a date with some Somali guy and give them a chance

There is not much that you need to do as a female especially more so in these times to stand out, ensure you look after yourself aesthetically especially your body, that alone sets you apart from the majority of obese/fat Xaalimo's.

Learn how to cook and be a good wife, learn the basics of the religion, be classy and respectful, and most importantly only consider male's that are above the age of 28 minimum, the bigger the gap the better.

Male's take a lot longer to mature then female's especially more so in a society like today, besides with the added wisdom/maturity also comes a far greater appreciation for you, there is a reason why the age gap is big between our parents.

Whatever path you traverse do not get with a doqon of equal age to you or one that is just 2/3 years older because the female is far more mature then the male when both are <26.

In terms of quality, follow the prophetic blueprint and seek out a brother that has good characters first, then religion, don't worry about finances as much because these things change quickly, only consider it as a bonus.

 

[riyaale]

Fear is a false expectations appearing real.

 

[SOULSEARCHING]

She is better off then the vast majority of careerist quasi feminist that shun early marriage at the prime of their life in favour of becoming slaves to a cooperation.

Then when they hit there late 20's or early 30's with nothing to show for it in terms of assets or finances for there stupid unislamic decisions panic sets in and they end up either alone and resentful, or get hooked with the lowest of the low since that's the only options that are available to them.

There is not much that you need to do as a female especially more so in these times to stand out, ensure you look after yourself aesthetically especially your body, that alone sets you apart from the majority of obese/fat Xaalimo's.

Learn how to cook and be a good wife, learn the basics of the religion, be classy and respectful, and most importantly only consider male's that are above the age of 28 minimum, the bigger the gap the better.

Male's take a lot longer to mature then female's especially more so in a society like today, besides with the added wisdom/maturity also comes a far greater appreciation for you, there is a reason why the age gap is big between our parents.

Whatever path you traverse do not get with a doqon of equal age to you or one that is just 2/3 years older because the female is far more mature then the male when both are <26.

In terms of quality, follow the prophetic blueprint and seek out a brother that has good characters first, then religion, don't worry about finances as much because these things change quickly, only consider it as a bonus.

Physically I'm good looking not bragging, that's because I have been looking after body since I finished school , I can cook and I'm into the religion. I've ticked all your boxes loool

I think I'm ready

 

[Inquisitive_]

Physically I'm good looking not bragging, that's because I have been looking after body since I finished school , I can cook and I'm into the religion. I've ticked all your boxes loool

I think I'm ready

Your already in the top 10% congratulations especially at your age provided you kept your chastity intact too.

Right now, all you need is correct guidance so you don't do anything stupid or make stupid decisions that will ruin you which female's of your age are prone to making in the diaspora.

The only way to avoid this is to make sincere dua's to Allah to give you the best of all outcomes.

Select a few books to read from this site which will help towards personal development and increasing your iman, this will catapult you to the top 1% in your category.
http://youthlyhub.com/40-books-every-muslim-youth-must-read-40/

In terms of searching, the best option is parents, then good married friends and last resort matrimonial sites which is probably best for you based on your previous posts.

I reiterate again and again, do not consider someone <28 of age, this same-age, room-mate, class-mate school-mate husband fantasy is an exclusive diaspora Xaalimo disease not found in other groups.

If you go to third world countries or developing ones, the average 19 year old has no interest in a 19-25 year old doqon who is less mature then she is in the majority of cases (exceptions always exist but they are not the norm)

 

[Sophisticate]

She is better off then the vast majority of careerist quasi feminist that shun early marriage at the prime of their life in favour of becoming slaves to a cooperation.

Then when they hit there late 20's or early 30's with nothing to show for it in terms of assets or finances for there stupid unislamic decisions panic sets in and they end up either alone and resentful, or get hooked with the lowest of the low since that's the only options that are available to them.

There is not much that you need to do as a female especially more so in these times to stand out, ensure you look after yourself aesthetically especially your body, that alone sets you apart from the majority of obese/fat Xaalimo's.

Learn how to cook and be a good wife, learn the basics of the religion, be classy and respectful, and most importantly only consider male's that are above the age of 28 minimum, the bigger the gap the better.

Male's take a lot longer to mature then female's especially more so in a society like today, besides with the added wisdom/maturity also comes a far greater appreciation for you, there is a reason why the age gap is big between our parents.

Whatever path you traverse do not get with a doqon of equal age to you or one that is just 2/3 years older, the female is far more mature then the males in the majority of cases for as long as both are <26

To each his own. Some would benefit from early marriage others would find it more cumbersome. The person is more important the time of their arrival.

Speaking for the age cohort that you are discussing late 20s and early 30s. Opportunities are not all gone and those that remain in the pool of eligibles are not lower tier options, seems somewhat exaggerated. You don't know each females options, her history, resilence or general interest in marriage, or procreation for that matter. Hence a one-size-fits-all approach does not work. Only a case-by-case. As an aside I have never talked to many Nimaan and chasity has always been there hence my general nonchalance.

The capacity to effectively articulate your emotions and mitigate misunderstandings is stronger as one gets older, level of maturity as well and a more crystallized idea of what one is looking for and willing to tolerate (or so I'd hope).

I digress, the girl is 21. She should not feel insecure and frantic energy isn't a good look. One doesn't have to resign themselves to taking a back seat in their life affairs but careful consideration for life choices is vital. Especially as women have the most to lose in a coupling especially an early one.

 

[Mahacagalla]

My mum said she had 4 of my siblings and me when she was 22 , and I'm nearly that age and I have no man or kids, than my mother along that line said you're a grandma by the age of 24


I feel sad now looool

I don't know what's wrong with me I'm scared of everything..
Maybe I should face my fears and go on a date with some Somali guy and give them a chance

Don't make a bad decision because of pressure. Every girls mom is gonna pressure her to get married early.

You're just 21 you got plenty of time and from your posts other pressing concerns. I wouldn't ever recommend looking to get married before 24 at the earliest. Your mom is from a different generation. Have kids in your early 20s today is alot more cumbersome than 20-25 years ago.

 

[Zahra]

My mum said she had 4 of my siblings and me when she was 22 , and I'm nearly that age and I have no man or kids, than my mother along that line said you're a grandma by the age of 24


I feel sad now looool

I don't know what's wrong with me I'm scared of everything..
Maybe I should face my fears and go on a date with some Somali guy and give them a chance

I'm 30 yrs old and don't have any kids. Give time time. Your young still.

 

[Basra]

My mum said she had 4 of my siblings and me when she was 22 , and I'm nearly that age and I have no man or kids, than my mother along that line said you're a grandma by the age of 24


I feel sad now looool

I don't know what's wrong with me I'm scared of everything..
Maybe I should face my fears and go on a date with some Somali guy and give them a chance

Waa Calaaf everything, its not in your control lol

 

[Sophisticate]

Don't make a bad decision because of pressure. Every girls mom is gonna pressure her to get married early.

You're just 21 you got plenty of time and from your posts other pressing concerns. I wouldn't ever recommend looking to get married before 24 at the earliest. Your mom is from a different generation. Have kids in your early 20s today is alot more cumbersome than 20-25 years ago.

No; not every mom is going to pressure her to get married early mine did not. Rather it was highly discouraged among both parents.

 

[Basra]

Soul

Tell your hooyo everything is Calaaf Gods will....that usually quites them if u invoke God

 

[Tukraq]

I'm 30 yrs old and don't have any kids. Give time time. Your young still.

How long can u realistically wait? Many hit menopause by, 40 and the older women get the less healthy the children get, and older women past 35 are more lazy and less capable of raising children due to depleting energy

 

[Zahra]

How long can u realistically wait? Many hit menopause by, 40 and the older women get the less healthy the children get, and older women past 35 are more lazy and less capable of raising children due to depleting energy

Your right women have a certain time frame. Usually mid 20s is the best time to start a family. There are woman who get pregnant in their late 30s too.

 

[Sophisticate]

How long can u realistically wait? Many hit menopause by, 40 and the older women get the less healthy the children get, and older women past 35 are more lazy and less capable of raising children due to depleting energy

Wrong my cousin had her first kid a 40 and so did a family friend that recently got married a few months ago. Wivestales. Its preferable younger but you can freeze eggs before 35. Some of us can afford the luxury.

Maybe a haggard person that has neglected themselves would have trouble keeping up with kids. I can see you would reap what you sow if you forgot about self-care during your prime. Not me, hun.

Taking this perspective, this new MPIDR-study shows that when women delay childbearing to older ages their children are healthier, taller, and more highly educated. It shows that despite the risks associated with childbearing at older ages, which are attributable to aging of the reproductive system, these risks are either counterbalanced, or outweighed, by the positive changes to the environment in the period during which the mother delayed her childbearing.

 

[Finesse]

Everyone has a different path/journey in life.

Don't get married to someone you are not comfortable with after doing istikharah several times.

Don't worry about what other people say and contrary to misogynist beliefs, women are not trash after the age of 30! It's the age we will all be in heaven after all.

In the meantime, expand your knowledge and financial assets so that you are ready to be a strong spouse and mother.

You can either be a young mother/wife who will grow with her husband and children or a mature wife/mother who has a lot to offer in terms of life experience, no regrets etc.

Either way you will be winning.

 

[Apollo]

Its preferable younger but you can freeze eggs before 35.

I looked up more info on this phenomenon as I knew nothing about it. Apparently it's quite expensive.

Kind of retarded how most Western countries don't cover it in their national healthcare programs as they are facing low fertility rates to begin with.

E.g. UK's NHS: https://fertilitynetworkuk.org/trying-to-conceive/nhs-funding/funding-faqs/

 

[Sophisticate]

I looked up more info on this phenomenon as I knew nothing about it. Apparently it's quite expensive.

Kind of retarded how most Western countries don't cover it in their national healthcare programs as they are facing low fertility rates to begin with.

E.g. UK's NHS: https://fertilitynetworkuk.org/trying-to-conceive/nhs-funding/funding-faqs/

Why don't some women just engage in health buffering behaviours and supplementing first to enhance their fertility (particularly for the 40+) as it's a lot more cost effective, while IVF should be more suited for more challenging cases of infertility.

 

[Apollo]

Why don't some women just engage in health buffering behaviours and supplementing first to enhance their fertility (particularly for the 40+) as it's a lot more cost effective, while IVF should be more suited for more challenging cases of infertility.

I just watched this youtube video on it and ironically the guy giving her the treatment is a Jew (min 0:48)..


..then I thought (((they))) may be behind why it is not covered by national insurances in Western countries. I might be too deep into Jew conspiracies.