I came across this post on Reddit/Islam. Some of the replies are so sad!
"I guess you're right. I know I can be a good husband. I swear, I'm loving and kind. But if no girl is ever willing to take a chance on me then how do I ever prove that? And I'm not a "nice guy" like you hear about on Reddit. Women are people with their own agency and freedom to choose. It's just...for once, I'd like to be what they choose. And I'm terrified of arranged marriages (and I've been rejected for those too) and I don't want to get into my entire life story but I've been pretty badly hurt before and this entire thing is so frustrating. It makes me so angry. And it doesn't help that my parents keep telling me about how nice it would be if I married a girl in Pakistan without meeting just like they did and didn't they turn out great? I'm not looking for just my wife. I'm looking for my companion. I can't marry a girl I don't know, who has a language barrier between me and her, who comes from a different culture, etc etc. but apparently the only viable option is there. I swear I want to cry. And I pray and I pray and I pray and I pray ad infinitum. But after being defeated so many times you start thinking things like hope is poison. Because if you hope you get hurt. Believing in the future is toxic. Because that's how you open yourself up to pain. So you take opportunities and you work hard and you shut up and smile even if all you want to do is cry and hide. And when your elders and your friends make pithy meaningless statements you smile and nod and say inshallah. But really, it's all meaningless. They're lying through their teeth because they can't promise for a fact that what they're saying is true. And now I've spilled my guts out to a stranger on the internet. And I feel like an idiot. It's been a long long road full of rejection. I'm not asking for a lot. Just a tiny window of hope. I promise. That's all I want. Just a tiny little sliver of warmth. I don't even need the real thing, just the promise that one day soon I'll have it. But no person can promise that and the One that can won't."
I feel so badly for this young man, I hope he is able to access treatment for his depression (mental health issues). He's even been rejected by arranged matches! Whilst I'm not married it is not something I focus on overly much as I am a optimistic and happy go lucky person. Hope those who are truly struggling find a deserving spouse before/without succumbing to zina! Ameen.
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