Story below
So about 5 years ago, I (m27) have been f*ck buddies for a couple of months with a young woman (f26) during exchange semesters. We mutually agreed that while we liked each other, we didn’t love each other and we were not going into a relationship, but would rather be having some fun together and that’s it.
Well, despite both of us using protection (her the pill, me condoms), she somehow got pregnant. I didn’t want the kid, but she did. I argued none of us was in a financially stable position, we were not in a relationship, I can’t see us both co-parenting since we’re from different continents, etc. She said she does understand and all those are good arguments but she simply does want to keep the kid and that’s it. We argued back and forth for a while but in the end it’s her decision and she kept the child. We were never fighting, never yelling, just arguing. She eventually told me that I am free to walk away if I want to - she’ll raise the kid alone and she won’t ever ask me for anything. I still didn’t like the idea and would have preferred abortion, but I won’t be the one ultimately deciding. So I walked away. The semester was soon to be over anyways and I moved back to my home country thousands of kilometers away. We never heard from each other again.
That is, up until a few weeks ago when I received a couple of text messages from her about how both her and the boy are doing well along with some photos of them. I replied that it’s nice to hear they are both well and healthy but also - after some chit-chat - that I am perfectly fine with staying out of their lifes and would like to keep it that way. That’s when she started to mention some financial problems she’s having and that it would be great if I’d start to chip in with the expenses for the boy. I declined and reminded her of how she said 5 years ago she’d never ask me for anything. She was not happy with my reply and kept pushing me.
Now I checked with a lawyer and since we were never married, I never recognized paternity and we live in two different countries with very different jurisdiction, the chance of her successfully going after me financially is very very low. So I decided to completely stay out of my kid’s and his mother’s life and to also not contribute financially.
5 years ago she did take a unilateral decision, dismissing my standpoint, and gave me a very unambigous promise, that I am free to walk out of their life and she’d never ask me for anything. I’m asking her now and forever to be true to her word. Now there will be people who say it doesn’t matter what she said, you are always responsible for the life you created. Well, I agree, but I think it’s ultimately her who created that life, so it’s her who’s responsible. But I do also understand that this is a quite controversial topic.
So, AITA?
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