It is not right that a husband shows any feelings to his wife in public
- Thread starter Aurelian
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Why is he talking about kissing?! The question was clearly hugging? I don’t like it when people have an inability to answer questions without changing or twisting! She said hugging! Not kissing.
Each to their own, but I don’t see it as a big deal or something to get angry about. What’s important is that he’s affectionate at home and that he is happy and appreciative to see you. Also, culture plays a role, obviously an older Somali gentleman which the Sheikh is, isn’t going to approve. I just don’t like that he changed the question.
I don’t see hugging in public as ceeb. I hug my father, my brother and uncles in public. Why would it be ceeb to hug my husband in public? How are people going to know he’s my husband? I mean I hug my brother who is a similar age to me when I don’t see him for months. Last time, I did get weird looks from Somalis. Strangely I don’t hug my husband in public. I’ve been affected by the stoic geelgire bug. I don’t see why I should.
Each to their own, but I don’t see it as a big deal or something to get angry about. What’s important is that he’s affectionate at home and that he is happy and appreciative to see you. Also, culture plays a role, obviously an older Somali gentleman which the Sheikh is, isn’t going to approve. I just don’t like that he changed the question.
I don’t see hugging in public as ceeb. I hug my father, my brother and uncles in public. Why would it be ceeb to hug my husband in public? How are people going to know he’s my husband? I mean I hug my brother who is a similar age to me when I don’t see him for months. Last time, I did get weird looks from Somalis. Strangely I don’t hug my husband in public. I’ve been affected by the stoic geelgire bug. I don’t see why I should.
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You should kiss and hug and hold hands with your spouse in public and in private.
Nope, kissing is haram. We’re Muslim and we’re meant to have Haya.
Muslims do a billion more severe harams on a daily basis and no one bats an eye. It's time to focus on the other ones before going crazy over public kisses on your spouses' cheek which is good for your childrens' mental and emotional wellbeing.
This reminds me of an incident I heard about many years ago. I don't remember the exact details but it was about a woman who was greeting her husband at the airport (they were Somali). She was excited to see him and gave him a hug not hiding her joy, I think he pushed her off and exclaimed something (can't remember what, probably something about her being shameless). He divorced her for it too. 
This is what I remember anyway, it was such a bizarre story.
This is what I remember anyway, it was such a bizarre story.
She asked a hard question, and he didn't want to seem to agree with a woman, so he made another scenario, that we don't usually do, to say, you see, this is not right.
Oh god, we went from thisGot to love Somali fobs
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Then we wonder why many Somalis growing up have an unhealthy attitude to marriage.
To this
I don’t think it’s particularly hard. He could have said that depending on culture, it should be avoided. It’s a matter of Urf.
In Somalia, probably not, maybe else way and depending on the hug being a platonic one, then it’s okay.
Nope, I think we’re always been like that. The no hugs thing is definitely motivated by traditional nomadic culture. Even personal affection isn’t common. Common correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve read somewhere that Somalis were one of the few groups that didn’t even kiss on the lips.
I’ve noticed how unaffectionate Somalis are when i moved to an Arab country and you routinely see husband and wife walking around with each other a lot and some even holding hands. Back home? Couples hardly go out together and if they do, the husband is several steps in front
Somalis used to kiss, maybe not infront of others, but definitely they did. Anyway, this husband and wife walking feet apart maybe in recent, the war, and Wahabbi, culture effected us.
I agree. PDA Public Display of Affection is not required for Muslims. Periodt! We need to be different from others.
I don't think that's how it really was historically. There's literally a part of Xeer (traditional Somali law) that's supposed to deal with how things go if the couple elopes. Elopes... would that happen if they didn't love each other and if falling in love was some cultural taboo or non-existent? And the way they got absurdly cheesy and corny in the old poems when composing them for their wives and lovers tells me these niggas weren't always cold-blooded. My parents also gave me many insights into what it was like in the magaalo back in the day at least among their ilk; plenty of young people dated, held hands, whispered corny shit to each other and were generally romantic like anywhere else.
In fact, wild story:
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I’ve read somewhere in a historical book I think that it wasn’t known to kiss on the mouth at all.
I don’t believe that, traditional nomadic culture was always harsh and anti-affectionate. Now, it simply has a religious twist.
I’m not talking about love here. You can’t control that and it’s part of being human. But I’m talking about affectionate behavior which is common in some groups and aren’t in others and traditionally, I think although I could be wrong, Somalis are a group that weren’t strong in that department. Even if I was to ask my parent about their parents and grandparents, they’d tell you that hugging, or even sitting close was a common site. We can’t blame ‘Wahhabism’ for this as cultures such as the Khaleejis tend to be a lot more family oriented despite them being a lot more affected by those teachings.
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I think this doesn't apply for all Somalis. Maybe it is a reer magaal and reer badiyo division
